#officially it’s so they can grow their own food if they have to withstand another siege

[thedreadpiratejames]

Not only would he be buying turnips, he’d be discussing with the farmer the different methods and cultivars he uses, as well as the weather and planting seasons and the signs that a drought is likely to occur

I bet after Aragorn became king he would continue to be Just Some Chill As Fuck Dude. You go to the market and there’s the king of Gondor. Buying turnips.

[gabriel4sam]

Not love at first sight (But love at the sixty-third life defying idiocy), a CodyWan story

Written for @swbigbang, with the help of @kitcatkim in the role of the patient beta and @outernorth for artist (art just there)

Because all the other members of their small outpost were not in shape (read, hungover), Cody and Obi-Wan go on a small, simple, totally not possibilities of explosions supply run.

Cody comes back with a headache the size of Coruscant, a new hate of insectoids life. And a brand new significant other, in the shape of his exasperating General

 It’s not a hangover, it’s a hecatomb. Whatever Boil had put in his new still was a terrible, terrible idea. The entire Separatist Council could do pointes in tutus on the flight deck and the vode would neither see it, nor care about it.

Cody and Obi-Wan were the only ones not drinking the day before, them and the communication officers on duty. The communication officers because they were working, and Cody and Obi-Wan, well, because they like the occasion for the men to feel free, and they can’t with their superior officers in their company.

That doesn’t mean the men are supposed to feel free enough to incapacitate the whole bunch of idiots they are apparently in charge off.

“Latrine duties, the first time we do planet fall. The whole of them.” Cody grumbles, assessing the damage with a cold, clinical eye.

“How does that even work? Does every man have latrine duties for his own latrines? Do you make them install as many latrines as they are? ” Obi-Wan remarks. He’s the usual calm and composed Jedi Master Cody knows on the outside, but the Commander is pretty sure he’s laughing on the inside. Cody had met Quinlan Vos, ok? And he poured enough hard liquor in the man to obtain confidences. Confidences which horrified him, Obi-Wan had even less survival instincts than Cody thought, but confidences he can’t un-hear. He will know forever!

Or at least, he will know until a luckier droid kills him. Cody is not an optimist about clones living long, happy, fulfilling lives. He has eyes after all and a functioning brain.

Cody glares at Obi-Wan, just in case. He has learnt, in the two years since he took his position with his General, that Jedi react pretty well to glaring. Not that it stops them from doing stupid stuff, but at least, they feel guilty about it.

If they like the glaring party only. Commander Ponds had a lot of things to narrate about Mace Windu and the horrible, horrible conglomerate mogul.

Obi-Wan takes his most innocent air, something Cody stopped believing two days in their acquaintance, when his newly minted General had destroyed a whole block of warehouses on an unnamed moon and made a grown Hutt call for its parent. It had been a bad month for Obi-Wan. No need to judge. When innocents are in danger, the cost of the repairs is less a problem and more a number for the politicians to handle. And yes, Obi-Wan knows the money used could certainly be used in other useful ways, but no amount of credits could ever buy a life, in the eyes of a Jedi. But that day, when Cody, after a few, very stressful hours of radio-silence, had finally gotten back his General, slightly charred, the hostages, hungry and thirsty and exhausted but all of them in one piece, and a terrified Hutt, in the middle of a devastated battleground, he had understood better the warning of Alpha-17. There, Cody had sworn in petto to never underestimate his Jedi, despite the irreproachable manners, the swishing hair and the smile of a holo-star.

Together, they take the time to check every soldier, to make sure nobody was busy drowning in their own fluid because they were too hangover/still drunk, to roll over. Everybody is alive, and the communication officers are getting ready to do a double shift, and ready to nib their vode about it later.

“It’s a good thing we’re on down time,” Obi-Wan remarks, “I must confess, despite the talents of your brothers, I’m not quite sure we could withstand an attack from Grievous and his various cronies right now.”

“We would get our asses handed to us, you mean.”

“Exactly.”

Obi-Wan cautiously touches  one of the abandoned drink containers, with more care than he gives to explosives.

“What did he put in this thing?” he asks, fascinated.

“You’re not testing it!” Cody immediately retorts, because he knows his Jedi, “not in the name of science, curiosity or whatever.”

Obi-Wan touches the container a second time.

Cody could swear the thing moves in return, like it wants to be pet. Obi-Wan hums, his face interested and he leans a little more in the direction of the container. If the thing starts growing whatever strange means of locomotion is on its mind, Cody is using his blaster, no matter the General’s opinion. That’s how bad holo-dramas start, with an unknown thing unleashed on an unsuspecting ship/outpost/space station. He refuses to star in one of those plot-lacking dramas his brother Wolffe pretends he doesn’t love.

The thing doesn’t move anymore and Obi-Wan loses interest and goes back to helping troopers into their quarters and their bunks.

Cody helps, but that doesn’t mean he’s not plotting terrible retributions. He knows the last few weeks have been pretty hard, the hardest in a long time, that’s one of the reasons Obi-Wan and himself made themselves scarce last night. 

Now, they have a week just waiting for the Negotiator to come pick them up. One week for the men to rest and to heal and perhaps to train lightly…but that’s no reason for the sort of screw-up Cody is seeing right now. Boil and his still should be transferred from the 501th and put into whatever part of the army that handles studies about biological warfare. Biological warfare that the Republic officially doesn’t indulge in, studying it only as a way to protect its worlds against it. But Cody isn’t convinced. He has a lot of questions he will never ask about parts of the army which are not led by Jedi, and that the Jedi are trying, with no success, to have access too. Obi-Wan has promoted him so much that the Commander now has access to documents he’s pretty sure nobody thought a clone ever would. He’s staying silent for now. If the Jedi need help with that, if they fail, the vode will try, but Cody is keeping this ammunition in reserve. He can only fire it once, because when natural-borns who aren’t Jedi realize exactly how much power Obi-Wan and the Jedi council has given him and some of the other commanders, they will try to strip them of it, he just knows it.

At the end, everybody is moaning in their bunks, or manning communication, and Cody and Obi-Wan raid the nice rations, the ones with the green seals, no less food of unkown origins than the rest of it, but certainly the tastiest. They sit down at the entry of the outpost, sharing a canteen of water between them. They don’t talk, most of the time they don’t need to.

Cody isn’t really hungry but it’s easier to trick Obi-Wan into eating something when those who surround him do too. The warmth of the sun, the sounds of nature, the nice, and so rare, oh so rare, knowledge that they have a little free time instead of having to run to put out another fire. All of this is making Obi-Wan soften, like a carving of stone suddenly becoming pliable.

“Commander?” Cody’s holocom disturbs them, and Cody startles, suddenly realizing he was lost in the light playing into the copper of Obi-Wan’s hair.

“It’s nothing, really nothing probably,” the shiny in charge of this particular console explains to them, “ one of the new models of probes  should have been back twenty minutes ago. I tried to raise it per the procedure, but it isn’t answering.”

“We’re supposed to be alone on this world,” Obi-Wan remarks, a line forming between his brows.

“They are still working the kicks out of this model,” the shiny admits, “that’s why we used them specifically on this planet where they are in no danger. We’re supposed to go back with all of them, for study, to hammer out the last problems.”

The line between the General’s brows is growing deeper.

“I will make a report to the Council about the danger it could pose to you, to send any vode on the field with materials not totally ready, and the Jedi Order will issue a formal protest.” His shoulders are tense. No matter the number of tries, the Jedi are blocked at every corner in the Senate in their efforts to better the life of the clones, even in the small things and it’s a terrible possibility that this time will be the same.

“You know what? We should go check ourselves,” Cody decides, because he wants to erase that line, that tension. “Since Boil poisoned the men, we could do it. A little trek in fresh air before breathing the recycled air in the Negotiator again.”

“Oh Cody, I can do it myself,” Obi-Wan offers immediately, “you don’t have a lot of free time-“

“Funny, I would have sworn you didn’t know the concept…”

“I am perfectly capable of knowing when my body needs down time.”

“That’s not what Master Erin said.”

And that’s how they leave the base.

It’s almost noon, birds or other small things Cody can’t honestly identify are chirping, the air is crisp and fresh, and the sky is only slightly purple, with no risk of rain. No matter how many worlds he sees, Cody is still out of countenance on worlds where the combination of gases in the atmospheres and stars emitting other waves than the Kamino sun combine to give entire landscapes strange colours. Most of the time, he’s wearing his helmet which filters the strangeness of it, and it’s only at the end of the battle, when he takes it off, that he realizes everything is weirdly green-tainted.

Also, he’s pretty sure Arc Trooper Fives was lying when he told him once he visited a world on a body guarding mission with his own Jedi were everything was glittering. He’s not putting any money on it, because Skywalker and his men were guarding the Naboo Senator. From what Cody observes, when Naboo people enter the scene, glitter just happens. He also thinks Fives is much better being Rex’s problem than his own.

Most of their supplies have already been packed for retrieval, so Cody and Obi-Wan only took one hover bike out, and for now Obi-Wan is piloting, Cody behind, and the Commander is beginning to think he made a tactical error. The plastoid of his armour is supposed to stop him from feeling Obi-Wan’s warmth, but Cody could swear he can still feel it. For all that the Jedi can seem aloof and strange, nothing makes him remember his General is flesh and blood than encircling a linen-warped waist with his arms.

 The world passes around them, the colours of the trees, the playful course of the clouds in the sky, the peaceful scenery of a wild world, with its inherent qualities and defaults. Cody likes those worlds better, untouched by sentient life. Growing up in the sterility of Kamino, there is something intoxicating in nature running its course, forests giving way to meadows, biotopes decided by climates and geology, and not by a careful hand arranging them for the maximal profits in their exploitation.

Cody understands about the need for fresh territory, with the growth of population, but certainly, certainly the most carefully hidden part of him insists quite vehemently, there must be another solution than the desolation of grey and pollution that is Coruscant. Something else than seeing the poorest people of the Republic living in deplorable conditions, never seeing the fresh green of a new leaf, as the richest ones can sample the delights of nature in carefully constructed reserves?

More and more, Cody is curious about the Agricorps, and their works to restore degraded biotopes, but he had the vague impression, when he asked questions about it to his General, that it’s a difficult subject for him.

Probably, Obi-Wan wanted to go into the Agricorps and they didn’t want him to, for whatever reasons. Cody thinks it’s more glorious to restore nature and to help feed a community than to go to war, like Obi-Wan is doing right now, or to negotiate treaties, which he vaguely thinks is Obi-Wan’s job in time of peace.

Cody’s thoughts drift gently as the journey continues, going from nature’s beauty to the exact shade of Obi-Wan’s hair when he has been under a natural sun for more than a few hours. The way the copper of it becomes richer and richer…. After a little less than two hours, they switch pilots, and Cody does his best to keep his thoughts on track. It would be stupid to crash just because he’s distracted by a flight of birds taking off with the noise of the bikes, no matter how graceful they are. He concentrates on piloting, and not on the presence of Obi-Wan behind him, his arms around Cody, and not in the colours of the forest around them, and the bucolic impression of their little expedition.

The last known position of their wayward probe put it next to a small lake, four hours away on hover bike, at the base of the mountainous regions. If this part of the world was in winter season, the most logical reason for their missing probe would be a mudslide.  Cody told in his reports time and time again that the probes should fly higher, that the field itself is much less friendlier than believed in the labs, but apparently nobody listens to him.

It’s the end of spring on this part of the planet, the probe was probably eaten by a giant fish, or something equally undignified.

They unseat on a single beach, the last known location. No more probe there than dignity and decency in the Senate. Nothing. No blackened hull of the thing if it had exploded under mysterious circumstances, best known as shoddy work in the conception. Not even a trace they could track back.

Cody turns on himself, surveying the landscape. Vegetation, mountains, peaceful lapping of water on the beach, more mountains with their snowy capes, a lot of weird looking trees. For a vacation, it would be peaceful. For missing military equipment, it’s sadly lacking.

“By incredible luck, you wouldn’t sense our missing flying friend in the Force?” Cody asks, because that would simplify things. That would simplify things, so of course the answer is no. As Obi-Wan struggles with putting together the scanner, Cody gathers pieces of driftwood, intending to start a fire. If they have to circle on foot, on uneven ground, to find the probes, nothing says they can’t do it after another meal next to a warm fire. In the harsh reality of war, Cody has learnt to wisely enjoy the few moments of peace, and he would very much like to teach that skill to his General. Obi-Wan is supposed to have decades of experience in him, but apparently he’s not aware that every sentient has their limits.

Cody is less than twenty meters from the Jedi and the hoverbike, facing Obi-Wan, his arms already full of a nice load when he sees Obi-Wan let go of the scanner, which tumbles on the stones, and turns to him, a hand already at his waist, reaching for his lightsaber.

“Cod-“ Obi-Wan yells, but the sound doesn’t reach Cody, as the stones give way under him, shifting in a dip of grey sand and Cody is gulped down like Master Yoda gobbles a small fish.

For a second, he can’t breathe, there is sand everywhere around him, on his skin, in his mouth, infiltrating his armour by the neck, and the wood in his arms squeeze against his ribs. He feels he’s gonna get crushed alive and he struggles with all his strength. Death has always been the end but he wanted to leave in combat. He can feel unconsciousness threatening and just before it would take him, he’s spit up violently and he rolls over with the momentum, the driftwood, the sand, and a few bits of the armour which didn’t survive the experience.

He can see someone lean over him, no more than a silhouette, because it’s so dark, he can feel the sand under his head, and also the head wound and the blood seeping out of it, and he takes a long breath, and it burns, all the way to his lungs, and then he knows no more.

For a long time, Cody floats. He dreams. Or he hallucinates.

He’s on Kamino again and he learns the world is without mercy for him and his brothers.

He’s training and he can feel Alpha-17’s eyes on him, pensive.

He’s very young and he doesn’t understand where the last of his batche went.

He’s older and he’s meeting his first Jedi, General Tii, and she always has a nice word for every clone, but her eyes are terribly sad every step she takes on Kamino.

He’s meeting Rex and their friendship soars instantly.

He’s seeing brothers dying and he’s seeing rescues and the world is a never ending war, but Cody refuses to let that be the only thing his brothers will know. He watches and he checks and he learns and he places his brothers the best he can, and he’s evaluating Jedi and people, and planets and his mind never stops.

Cody wakes up. General Plo Koon is leaning over him and Cody lets relief seize him, until he realizes something is wrong. No eye covers, no breathing masks, and as much as Cody can see in the very low light, the thick leathery hide acting as skin is much lighter than Plo Koon’s. A Kel Dor, but not the Jedi Master that the Wolffe’s pack would follow to the end of the galaxy and beyond.

After a few seconds of his brain going round in circles, it finally stops at a very important point: Kel Dor and humans don’t breathe the same atmosphere, and this Kel Dor is without breathing apparels. Cody goes to put a hand on his mouth in instinctual movement, like he could stop himself from suffocating, but the other lays a hand on Cody’s forearm, his entire body language non-threatening, and says something he can’t understand. That’s when Cody realizes something translucent is surrounding his head, like a bubble inflating and deflating with every breath he takes. He pokes it, very carefully. It’s flexible, slightly sticky and it smells earthy, a little like those mushrooms his General insisted he try once, when he took him to his friend Dex dinner.

Cody takes a careful breath. He doesn’t die in terrible suffering, so he takes another one. The air entering his lungs still seems appropriate for his species. He tries to sit up, moving very slowly to make the stranger understand he’s not attacking, and the Kel Dor helps him.

Seated, he can better observe the place around him. He has been placed on a pallet of light fur, in some sort of carved place, the walls decorated, not in paint, but in carving, and his armour is against one of the walls, carefully stacked. Cody wants to touch his head, where he was hurt, but once again the Kel Dor stops him before he touches the bubble. The only light comes from a small clay bowl full of sizzling oil, where a wick has been adapted. It doesn’t give enough light to help Cody see more than the small room and a crude overture in the stone, leading to more darkness. He can’t even study perfectly the features of the Kel Dor, more than to be sure it’s definitely not Master Koon.

The Kel Dor says something again and Cody makes a frustrated noise.

“I’m sorry, I don’t speak your language.” The other doesn’t seem to understand that, so Cody tries Mando’a, with the same result. 

He tries the Galactic Sign Language, no results. 

He knows a few signs of the Alderaan Sign Language, the one from their Southern Hemisphere. Queen Organa taught him a few lessons once during a lockdown in the Royal Palace when he was guarding her, between grumbling about clones’s rights and what her husband better do about it in the Senate, and Cody learns fast. The Kel Dor still doesn’t react in any useful way.

“A common language would be pretty useful to know if I’m your guest or your prisoner,” Cody jokes. Sarcasm now. He’s spending too much time with his General.

He shifts, trying to see if he will be stopped from standing, but the other only helps him, carefully arranging on Cody’s torso the ending of the bubble. Now that Cody studies it more attentively, he’s sure the stuff is organic. It’s like they forced his head and the superior part of his torso into some sort of ring of weird looking mushrooms, the mycelium of one of them extended around his head. If this is producing oxygen for him, he really doesn’t want to disturb it.

The world tilts when he stands up but the Kel Dor pushes a shoulder under Cody’s arm and they go out. When Cody passes his armour, he fetches his blaster, and the other doesn’t stop him. Either he doesn’t understand it’s a weapon, or he doesn’t think Cody will attack him. Her? Them? Are Kel Dol gendered beings?

Exiting the small room, Cody can’t see. Everything is dark around them. He can hear movements and the air around him has the quality of an enormous space. A cave, he would think, but the little lamp his new friend has in his claws is not enough.

“Of course,” Cody remarks, “your eyes are much much better. You don’t need a bank of lamps.” He almost jumps when someone joins them and if his head wasn’t still ringing, he probably would have attacked, but it’s only another Kel Dor, smaller, with a skin more brown. They ask something to the first one, but again, there is no sense for Cody.

He’s guided to a stone bench and the little lamp is pushed into his hands. Kel Dor are going in and out of the little circle and Cody tries to evaluate how many of them there are, but he’s, to his great shame, not good enough to distinguish between the Kel Dor easily. He can isolate one or two who have more evident features for a human, like one missing an arm, but the rest of them, all dressed in a very similar way with some furs identical to those Cody woke up on, and the alien features. Cody feels anger against himself. He judges natural borns for not making an effort to distinguish between the vode, despite their efforts to gain their own identity by tattoos or dyes, and he shouldn’t be victim of the same bias.

Finally, someone sits next to him. Cody studies their face, trying to commit them to memory.

��People don’t seem unfriendly. He’s pretty sure the one he woke up with is some sort of local healer, and that it is this one who came back to him several times. Children even come to him, chattering in their language in a way which makes him think of the younger ones on Kamino, before some of their batches started to disappear and they started to understand what their fate in the world would be. A particularly daring little one climbs onto his lap and Cody looks around, ready to see the parent arrive and take its offspring from the strange being. But this community seems so peaceful nobody sees a problem with the child on the stranger's lap.

The little one shows him his treasure, a cube deeply carved with symbols Cody can’t decipher. Of course. In a world without sun, carving must be a medium and painting, or writing, must be inexistent.

“It’s a very nice cube,” he says to the little one, whose gender he can’t decipher. If Kel Dor have gender. He’s pretty sure he heard once that the biggest number of genders registered for a sentient species was eight, and the smaller zero, but he has no idea for this species.

The child seems pretty happy with the answer, even if they can’t understand it any more than Cody can understand their own opinion, expressed in an uninterrupted flow.

Around him, he can vaguely perceive people going about their day. How calm. How reposing. Nevertheless, peaceful or not, Cody can’t breathe the same atmosphere as them, and the strange organic concoction they put on his head to help will soon find its limits. He’s getting thirsty, for once, and he can’t drink without taking the thing off, which he can't. And that’s not even thinking about his General, who must be trying to reach him by any means the Force gives him.

If he knows Cody is alive.

No, no, he must know.

And even if the Force, whose exact limitations Cody is quite unsure of, even if the Force can’t tell Obi-Wan Cody is alive, Obi-Wan is not exactly a man to just go back to the outpost and declare him dead. He will search and search and search, and bring Cody back alive to his vode, or his body for his brothers to honour.

Cody knows: it had been a terrible row between the Jedi on one part and the Kaminoan and the Senate on another, this refusal to abandon dead clones bodies to the elements.

And, to the surprise of the Senate who was in the habits to bully the Jedi for centuries, the Jedi hadn’t budged. But Cody had seen what it had cost them: the Senate had made them pay, in late important reports who the Jedi needed for the war efforts, on refusal of important supplies, suddenly labelled unessential…

So, Obi-Wan is searching for him at the moment, and Cody needs to go to him. The ringing in his head, present since he woke up, has slightly diminished, and he has walked with more grievous wounds.

The question is now: how to mime exit to the Kel Dor, how to ask for a guide? Because if he has to feel around the cave until he finds an exit, he will, but that would be so much easier.

“Hoping there is an exit into your cave, little one,” he says to the child, who is falling asleep on his lap, “because if I have to drill through the roof to the exterior of the planet, it’s gonna cause breathing problems for your city.”

An adult approaches them, a long plaid in their hands, and they mime Cody putting it around his shoulders. Instead, Cody wraps the little one in it and puts the resulting bundle into the adult’s arms.

“I don’t suppose you could send me to the nearest exit?” He asks, and of course, the Kel Dor doesn’t have an answer.

He takes the little lamp and leaves to explore. He can’t see well more than two meters from the circle of light, and even with it, his eyes are struggling.

Soon, he’s stopped by a wall, which he follows until he finds a low door, with only a curtain. He risks an eye, feeling quite voyeuristic, but he only sees something resembling a storage space, big amphoras against a wall.

He continues to follow the wall, finds another one, loses himself in what is a succession of low houses. Above him, the roof of the cavern is still invisible and he can’t see the walls. He finds another little place with stone benches.

Or is it the same?

No, even underground, Cody is sure of his sense of direction. It’s another one place, and the city is bigger than he thought possible. He’s also walking way too slowly, because of the problem of light and his still ringing head.

“Kriff,” he whispers, sitting down on one of the benches.

“Obi-Wan, please find me,” he whispers before scolding himself. He’s no melodrama maiden, he is perfectly capable of finding the surface again by himself.

A burly Kel Dor approaches him, mushrooms in his claws and says something.

“I’m sorry, I can’t understand what you’re saying,” Cody tries to explain. The other sits next to him and gesticulates to the mushrooms helping, he thinks, him to breath, and when Cody doesn’t do anything, he starts placing the ones he brought against the first ones. They seem to merge in a frankly disgusting scene which is probably mushrooms porn.

“Does that mean you need to change them regularly for me to breathe?” Cody asks, despite knowing he won’t receive an answer he can understand.

 To add another problem to the long list Cody is already shouldering on, the cave floor starts to tremble and people start yelling.

People are yelling, and despite the language barrier, Cody can understand the panic with no problems.

The soil beneath his feet grumbles again. There is a sound like a rockslide, and more yells, and terror is the taste at the back of Cody’s throat, because he still can’t kriffin see.

Finally, the trembling is so terrible he’s thrown on his knees and the sound reaches a crescendo as a great light emerges from the rock soil, three hundred meters from where Cody is kneeling. It’s some sort of giant worm, with a maw higher than Cody. It roars and glows even brighter, the bioluminescence of its chitin almost dazzling for Cody himself.

 All around Cody, Kel Dor are yelling and struggling on their feet with great difficulties, as the rock soil is still trembling. The beast roars again and it sounds like a thousand ships taking off at the same time in the confined environment. As Cody is helping a Kel Dor to their feet, the pandemonium reaches an even higher spike as another worm emerges, further than the first, and the quake of the rock sends them flat on their bellies.

Cody really regrets letting Boil distribute his production yesterday, what he wouldn’t give for ten men and a rotary canon right now! Even for Hardcase, who he’s really happy is most of the time Rex’s problem, and his tastes for explosives.

He hoists himself more or less vertical, swearing all he can at the same time. He helps the Kel Dor to their feet again and then assesses the situation.

The lights of the worms let him have a good gaze for the first time at the enormous cavern they are in and the low buildings in it. Behind them he can even see big overtures, probably an entire network of caverns. An entire city in the dark, deep in the soil, protected from the outside world and its atmosphere which the Kel Dor can’t breathe, and from the Republic scanners which never knew they were there.

Protected from the sun, too.

And now that the light has come to them in the form of predators, they are defenceless. Cody can see people trying to flee, with a hand on their eyes, and with no success. By the time Cody has succeeded in approaching the scene of the disaster, at least three Kel Dor have been swallowed.

One of the worms, the closest, roars again and Cody doesn’t lose time: the maw, unprotected by the chitin covering the body, seems like a perfect target.

He raises his blaster and fires.

Another roar, even more deafening, as blood splatters all around in a gorish scene. A good part of the mandible has exploded, but the beast isn’t dead. It strikes, trying to gobble Cody like it did the poor Kel Dor. The difference is that the Commander can see in the light, on the contrary of the first victims. He evades just in time to escape certain death.

He rolls over and raises his blaster a second time, but the angle is worse than the first time, and the shot dampens itself on the chitin with no more effect than darkening it, and enraging the worm even more. 

Again, it tries to kill Cody and the man dances out of range, blessing the hours of training the Jedi gave all of them. It had been the first thing the Jedi had done, because they thought the training the vode had received on Kamino didn’t focus enough on the art of dodging.

Cody never told them it was because the trainers and the Kaminoans thought the vode easily expandable and more useful for a suicide strike. He suspects the Jedi knew, if the way they act around the Kaminoans is proof.

Dodging, advancing, retreating, taking a shot every time he sees an overture, Cody fights, more a reflex than anything, to protect the Kel Dor. He wouldn’t refuse a little help; with spears even if they don’t have other weapons, but the cavern inhabitants are useless. They are not even running away from the worms, full of the terror of death, and the light, which have come in their city.

Nevertheless, the issue of the fight was never a real question. Even hurt and far away from his usual fighting grounds, Cody was bred a warrior and he had honed the skills given to him by his genetic donor all his life. The worm, a female, is in the habit of only fighting other female worms during the mating season for access to the best breeding ponds and to gobble Kel Dor and every animal it could. It never had to fight a sentient being, especially one with a blaster.

The blaster’ shots finally damage the roof of its mouth enough and one of them burns its path to the brain. The beast dies immediately, but the nervous system needs time to receive that message. For a moment, Cody fears the convulsions of the enormous body will cause the entire caves system to collapse on their heads.

When the movements finally stop, he vaults himself over a rock slide, caused by the events, and approaches carefully. The worm is still partially obscured by the rock he emerges from, but Cody can see a good twenty meters of it. He’s bringing back a chitin part to the GAR, because he wants ships protected like that!

A sudden movement to his left makes him turn, but too late. His zoological fascination has caused Cody to make a horrible, rookie mistake, the sort of mistake which makes a rookie never have an occasion to become something other than a rookie.

For a moment, he had forgotten there was a second worm.

He brandishes his weapon, but it’s too late. Only his reflexes save him from being cut in two, but a razor sharp incisor scraps against his armour, parting it like butter and only missing the skin by half a centimetre. The worm has no interest in the Kel Dor, no matter how easy prey they are. It just wants to kill the stubborn little creature who just killed its mother. His blaster clatters on the rock, too kriffin far away. Cody rolls on himself, tries for it, but he already knows it’s too late, when the sound of a lightsaber being ignited announces the arrival of the cavalry, just in time.

Obi-Wan Kenobi arrives on the scene like an armed deux ex machina. He’s wearing Cody’s helmet in order to breath in the cavern and death is burning light-blue in his hand. Rare are the materials which can resist the power of a lightsaber, and Obi-Wan doesn’t take chances with Cody’s life, no matter how he is repelled by the taking of a life, even an animal one. The head of the worm falls on the other side of the body as Obi-Wan is still airborne from one of those improbable jumps Force Sensitive do. The second his feet touch the rock; he’s rushing to Cody, trying to assess his health.

Across the galaxy, Anakin suddenly sits down in the marital bed, sending Padmé, who was asleep across his torso, tumbling into the sheets by the violence of his movements. The vision of a chitinous torso opening, full of meaty juice, dances before his eyes.

“Ani?” The young Senator asks, once he has succeeded in making her put down the blaster she retrieved from even the Force doesn’t know where. Padmé doesn’t do peaceful when she’s woken up abruptly, something he learned quickly in their marriage. Convincing the handmaiden that every noise inside their bedroom wasn’t a murder attempt and that they shouldn’t rush in, weapons drawn, was another interesting adjustment to the married life.

“I just.….I’m not sure…” He tries to grip what woke him up, but it already has disappeared. “I think I’m hungry,” he admits, “sorry to have interrupted your sleep.”

“The droids can make you something,” she suggests, burrowing into the nest of pillows, less prone to sudden shifting.

“Do you think we have insects?” He asks.

****************************

“Cody! Cody, are you alright?”

“Obi-Wan, General, are you hurt?” Cody and Obi-Wan ask at the same time, hands searching, patting the other bodies in gestures less destined to triage of wounds and more to the simple animal need for contact.

“The air of the cavern isn’t breathable for us,” Obi-Wan says, after a few seconds and Cody nods: “I deduced that, but the thing on my head….it’s helping.”

“How did you deduce such a- Oh, um, hello.”

Around them, the Kel Dor have begun to assemble, all of them an arm on their face, trying to protect their eyes.

“Your lightsaber, turn it off,” Cody says and, making something purr in the Commander’s chest, Obi-Wan immediately obeys, no question, no hesitation.

The Kel Dors guide them away from the scene of the carnage. Cody sees a few of them with stone machetes and axes, already working on taking apart the pale flesh of the worms, working from the wounds Cody and Obi-Wan made, as the chitin is too hard on other places of the big bodies.

Cody watches for a few seconds. One of a Kel Dor yanks open the cranial cavity. Cody turns to the other side very quickly, because butchering enormous worms is apparently more than his battle-hardened stomach can take. Nothing should make the noise an axe makes against flesh.

Cody finds his little lamp again. It’s not even extinguished, the events haven’t probably lasted more than ten minutes. The universe is a hard place, thinks Cody, where he could get eaten by any abomination with too much teeth in less time than an oil lamp runs its course.

They sit next to each other on the closest bench and in the halo of the lamp, Cody inspects his General better. He’s covered in stone dust and whatever else disgusting stuff is on his tunic: he probably crawled his way there.

The adrenaline is still burning through Cody, and joy too, as he turns to his General. On the whole, he misses the days life was simpler on Kamino, with no worms for example, but on Kamino, he never heard the sound of a lightsaber and knew, with a certainty so burning it could have well resonated in the Force, that he was saved. There is comfort, in the hard world he’s living in, in the certainty that his General will tear apart entire solar systems to rescue any clones. That all Jedi would. For a clone, raised to be interchangeable, this strong-willed refusal to leave even one of them behind is a balm to the soul.

“You found me,” he says, and he tries to infuse that with professionalism, and fails miserably.

“I will always find you,” Obi-Wan promises. It’s strange to talk to him like that, with Cody’s helmet on his head. Cody hadn’t realized he relied so much on the Jedi’s face to understand him.

“Yes, sir, but for a moment, I confess I thought you would more, avenge me or something.”

Obi-Wan touches his shoulder.

“I’m sorry to have been so long,” he says, “the system of caves proved itself tricky, and the Force insisted I couldn’t just blow up my way inside.”

“That would let the atmosphere on the outside enter,” Cody theorized, “and I think, our hosts….”

Like they have been summoned, two Kel Dor approach them. They are dressed as simply as all the others Cody has seen, but on the bust of the smaller one, there is some sort of ceremonial pectoral and it has a very big difference with everything Cody has seen since stepping into the cave. It’s in metal.

“Obi-Wan”, Cody whispers, “look at that.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t speak the language more than Cody. He can recognize it’s not the actual principal language of Kel Dor, which he has heard before, but no more than that. Nevertheless, it’s less a problem for a Jedi. He can feel in the Force other’s intentions, enough to understand easily that the people here don’t want to harm them, which Cody had deduced himself hours ago, and that they want to bring them to see something.

Cody is very happy to leave the dead bodies of the worms behind them.

And to  General Skywalker eats insects! Bless the Force that Skywalker is Rex’s Jedi.

One cave. Another. Another one.

“How many are there? How big are these caves?'' Cody asks. He’s tired, hungry, thirsty, and more or less ready to go back to camp, thank you very much.

They find a ship, or more, the skeleton of a ship, in the last part of the caves system, the deepest one. It’s less a cave, and more the memory of a crash. The ship has been cannibalized, years after years, of everything useful, to the latest scrap of metal, except for the framework.

“It was probably made with a metal too dense for the meagre set of tools they have,” Obi-Wan theorizes.

“I can’t recognize the type of  ship that is, the form itself is so strange,” Cody remarks, watching it with the eye of a man trained to recognize enemy and ally ships in a nano second in the middle of battle. Obi-Wan is touching the metal with his bare skin, with great reverence.

He always loved old things, his Jedi.

The happiest Cody had seen him was for a protection mission in a dusty archive, on a faraway world. General Skywalker was with them, and the young Ahsoka too, and the intel had been faulty. There had been no attack, Obi-Wan had had his Padawan and GrandPadawan close and safe, and spent his days making amorous noises at poetry treaties centuries old.

“It’s incredibly old. Probably before the foundation of the Republic."

"But that’s….that’s old as kriff."

"During the first time of space travel, ships weren’t as reliable. They probably are the descendants of a crew of explorers. After the crash, staying inside the caves was the only long-term possibility for them, if they hadn’t the means to produce enough respiratory apparatuses. It was the only way to survive for them.  Nevertheless, it stopped anyone from finding them. And little by little, they regressed technically and lost the way to contact the outside."

"Do you really think they would have travelled from their world without a way to breath on other planets?"

"Perhaps it was stocked in a part of the ship lost during the crash. Perhaps it was so long ago, it was long before the Kel Dor knew very few worlds have an atmosphere breathable for them…Every species has the tendency to think the world at large tailored for them.”

They don’t leave immediately. Obi-Wan is of the opinion that Cody is too tired to use the path he himself used to find him. And he’s probably right. Cody’s head is throbbing where he hurt it during his fall, but he doesn’t see how he could get better here, where he can’t eat or drink.

What follows is a game of mime between Obi-Wan and the Kel Dors which Cody won’t forget, ever, no matter how much Obi-Wan asks, and he regrets he doesn’t have a holocamera.

After a time, and an unforgettable time it was, Obi-Wan and he find themselves stashed in a little room, so low they can’t stand. It’s more a bed stuffed inside some sort of structure made in the same weird-looking, weird-smelling mushrooms. Cody takes off the bubble around his head and Obi-Wan takes off Cody’s helmet.

The red head has the worst case of helmet’s hair Cody has seen, ever and Cody can’t stop an unprofessional laugh around his first mouthful of fresh water.

“I don't Not a head made for helmets, do I?” the Jedi smiles, as he tore in two a strange looking loaf of bread.

They fall on the food, famished, and tease each other at the same time. There is water and what Cody thinks is some root vegetables, and flatbread, and some meat he isn’t touching with a ten foot pool, just in case it's giant worm.  

“If you swear to wear armour instead of linen in battle, I swear to the Force I will never mock your hair,” Cody smiles in return, and Obi-Wan makes a face, like he did already wear good, solid protection instead of tunic and leggings and whatever he calls the multiple layers of his Jedi’s clothes.

“I thought….for a moment, I thought…” Obi-Wan stops. It’s rare to see him lost for words, he of the Silver tongue, the Negotiator.

“I’m not dead,” Cody reiterates, because there is no need to beat around the bush. Even risking their lives every day the Force makes, nobody likes the kick of adrenaline when one of your men is missing. It never becomes normal. It never should.

“And yet, for a second I thought you were. When I saw the earth opening under your feet and gobbling you. And when I arrived during your battle, the Force trumpeting in my heart about the mortal danger you were running to.”

“The Kel Dor were pretty useless against those things. Couldn’t let them get eaten like that. Not when they rescued me and helped me.”

“I know. I know. And I would have done exactly the same thing.”

Obi-Wan sits on the bed, less gracefully than he usually does. From where he’s leaning against the mushroom wall, Cody stares. He can see the lines around his mouth, and after his late-night conversation with Master Quinlan Vos, he knows they aren’t from laughing. He can see the lines at the edges of the eyes, discreet for now, a little more present every day. He can see the first traces of grey on the temples, simply a trace of silver in the red mane…. He’s, almost, sure there was no grey at the beginning of the war, he has seen the holos of Obi-Wan against Prime, against Jango, all those years ago, on Kamino.

Obi-Wan is burning too bright, burning himself.

And Obi-Wan isn’t the only one not getting younger. The accelerated aging isn’t exactly good for Cody’s health, starting with his knees.

One day, he won’t be quick enough for the next giant, bioluminescent man-gobbling worm. Or Obi-Wan will be too tired against Grievous. Since they met, an assignment Commander- General decided by Alpha-17 himself, their life has been full of Separatist assassins, murderous fauna, Sith assassins, murderous geology, Separatist assassins pretending to be Sith assassins, and Sith assassins pretending to be Separatists assassins, brain-washed murderous Senators, murderous flora, murderous black holes, and one time a murderous sentient ship.

The whole galaxy is conspiring to kill clones and Jedi, for what Cody can see.

If his math is right, he survived today the sixty-third attempt on his life from Fate since he left Kamino. Obi-Wan was there for most of them, and Cody was around for the latest attempts on Obi-Wan’s life.

And one day, it will stop.

Cody opens his mouth before he can talk himself out of it. Life is short and he’s a soldier slave, he doesn’t have the luxury to wait for another time.

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” he says, and Obi-Wan looks like he has been whacked on the skull with a heavy object. It’s not exactly his best face, mouth round in surprise, and Cody only feels affection. Then Obi-Wan’s lips curve into a smile like a sun, blinding, warm, and the Jedi touches the side of Cody’s face.

The Jedi touches the side of Cody’s face.

He doesn’t speak. Not yet. His head against Cody, his breath sharing Cody’s own air, they close their eyes, and Cody experiences the strange idea that he’s detaching himself from his brothers.

For the first time, there is something in his hands, or well, in his heart, that he doesn’t want to share with Wolffe or Boil, or even Rex, who has become his closest brother.

He doesn’t want to hide Obi-Wan from them, but he wants….

He hasn’t the words. Not yet.

But, with Obi-Wan at his side, he hopes he will learn them.

And he hopes his brothers too can find something, or someone, so precious they need to share the joy of knowing it, but also to keep it to themselves, like he wants to keep to himself the smile of Obi-Wan when Cody tells “I love you”, or the small freckles at the side of his mouth, visible only so, so, so close.

The first “I love you” Cody hears from Obi-Wan is whispered against his lips.

The first kiss tastes of the bread offered by the Kel Dor, of the cave’s dust and it’s perfect.

They’re still in the same situation, two exhausted men, in a cave full of toxic gases, only protected from them by some unknown mushrooms exuding oxygen, and Cody feels like he could take over the entire Republic. He sleeps curved around Obi-Wan, like two parts of the same whole, touching as much as they can, and if the headache from his head wound brings Cody to the surface a few times during their nap, he feels rejuvenated after it.

After, the Kel Dor help them find the surface and Cody and Obi-Wan leave their new friends, hand in hand, quite happy to find back the sun and the sky, the fresh air of a late morning…and almost all their men crawling around their area, trying desperately to find them.

Obi-Wan keeps Cody’s hand in his and a few brothers less intimidated than others by Cody’s glare, embarrassed and proud at the same time, even bumped their big brother’s shoulders as a sign of congratulation. Obi-Wan immediately goes red, like he’s a teen on his first crush, and not a seasoned Jedi Master whose touch can bring life or death. 

Cody finds it adorable. 

*******************

It’s the middle of the night shift on the Negotiator, but Cody is still working on a different time zone, so he lets Obi-Wan sleep peacefully in their shared bunk. Their shared bunk! A notion that still makes him giddy like a shiny at their first kiss, even a month after getting together. They are taking things pretty slow, or in the wrong order, Cody isn’t sure, they sleep in the same bunk every night, but haven’t got very far in term of sex, and this perfect, because this is them, and not some sort of artificial list of relationship’s milestone. And Cody already knows, deep in his soul, that he will never love a man like he loves this one, even if Obi-Wan is killed tomorrow, and he’s sure it’s the same for Obi-Wan. 

The Negotiator is in route to join with the Steadfast, so General Koth is on board after a conjoined mission where Obi-Wan and him gave Cody new grey hairs. He finds him easily in the mess, demolishing a healthy serving. The stamps outside the rations are a different colour than the ones Cody and his brothers eat.

“Can I join you?” Cody asks.

“Of course,” Eeth Koth immediately answers and the chair on the other side of the table moves on its own, offering itself for the Commander. Cody arches a brow.

“Don’t tell Obi-Wan,” the General jokes, “or I will endure a lesson for frivolous use of the Force.”

Cody sits and they stay silent for a moment, the General apparently happy to let him come to his questions in peace, continuing to eat his meal. Despite being tailored for a different species’ nutritional needs, it looks exactly as unappetizing as most rations Cody is used too. 

“General Ke-“

“You can call him Obi-Wan in front of me,” Eeth Koth interrupts. “There is no need to be ashamed of what binds you.” He grimaces. “Force knows we will all need all the comfort we can get before everything is set and done in this war.”

“Obi-Wan and I, we had a bit of an adventure, last month.”

“From what I heard, you have a lot of them.”

“Yes but….it was…it was the first time I was around civilians. Normal people, I mean.”

“Not Jedi and not clones, you mean?”

“Yes.”

“Putting apart the fact that you are normal people, and that we are too, that it is a slippery slope to consider us different, because then the rights…”

“I know you’re fighting for us in the Senate. I know. That isn’t the question…I just mean. They were civilians. Even more civilian than usual. I have only met natural borns who are Jedi and Senators and politicians or some sort of official. This was different. And I realized how little we know about the world outside the GAR. And how little we know about societies, and species who aren’t us. They raised us for war only…” Cody was almost trembling with it. Eeth Koth put a comforting hand on his wrist and Cody continued:

“Obi-Wan, I don’t want Obi-Wan to become my teacher. It’s not his role. But if we want to have a chance outside the war, us, the vode, we need to learn about the outside world. I wanted to ask you if there was something…a way…”

Eeth Koth had totally abandoned his meal and Cody could feel the weight of his gaze, the same gaze as Obi-Wan, transcending their species.

“Let me call a few people,” the Jedi said.

**********

Years later, Cody thinks a lot about that moment. Eeth Koth joined the Force during the war and Cody has to remember this moment for the two of them, this simple moment around a table, this moment which became one of the tipping point of his life. Not the too numerous almost-death, not the many battles, not even his first kiss with his dear Obi-Wan. This moment, in Cody’s mind, is the one which changed his fate. 

Eeth Koth died not even two months after that, one among a lot of Jedi who gave their life, alongside the vode, for a chance for the galaxy and its people. Not that people are particularly thankful about it: the discovery of the Sith engineering the two sides of the conflict rocked the easy confidence of the Republic in the solidity of its system.

Democracy is never forever, if people don’t work for it.

No, democracy is only saved for now, and never will it be saved forever and ever. But that shock to the system is treated by the most intelligent of the bunch like a chance to seize. All across the reunited Republic people are working hard, entering politics, creating organizations to teach the population, to hold those in power accountable…. 

It’s a sad thing so many vode, jedi and civilians had to die and suffer for that. It’s even sadder to think it didn’t almost happen. The Republic almost burned, the Sith almost won, the beloved former Padawan of Obi-Wan Kenobi almost helped murder Mace Windu, Master of the Order...Mace Windu isn’t exactly the type to hold a grunge, but Obi-Wan still needed months after that to stay in his presence, the guilt that should have eaten Anakin transfered. 

Honestly, if Obi-Wan forgave Anakin much too quickly, and Windu too, the vod needed a much longer time. Skywalker had almost helped the man who had engineered them as slave soldiers, the man who would have wiped out their free will, the poor part of it they still had. The vod had needed a long time to forgive, and would never forget, but Cody still has the desagreable impression Rex’s anger is a most important consequence in Skywalker’s mind that the almost death of the democratic system and the almost rise of a dictatorship. 

Sometimes, late in the night, Obi-Wan stays awake, something lost in his eyes than mediation never totally makes disappear, and Cody is sure that day figures in a good part in his dark thoughts. 

Obi-Wan, and Cody too, think about what could have been. If Cody hadn’t been there that day, in the Temple, who would have been in charge of keeping an eye on Skywalker in the Council Room? No one, that who. Because Skywalker was a Council member, if a very fresh one, and there wasn’t on hand a Jedi Master with enough years to take a look at a Council Member and decide he needed baby-sitting. All those Masters were deployed, or in beds in the halls of healing. But Cody, Cody was there, and since he and his General had become an item, he had taken sometimes to act, despite what his logical brain told him, not like a soldier Anakin could order around, but like an exasperated step-father. Exasperated and concerned, as the war advanced and Anakin seemed less and less attached to his morals. 

 Who would have followed him to the Senate when Skywalker had refused to wait anymore, and tackled him at the last minute? Who would have stopped Anakin Skywalker from doing something as tremendously stupid as to save a Sith pitted against Mace Windu?

And all of that had been possible because Jocasta Nu had taken the first excuse she could to keep Cody on Coruscant that month. A well-known linguist was visiting for a series of talks, and she thought he could be a good professor for Cody, and more importantly that well-know linguist had enough political power to obtain permission for a clone following his courses.

And the Republic had lived, because Cody loved linguistics, or more because he had loved the little he understood of it at the time.

But Cody refuses to let the horrors of those years of war, and his terrible first years on Kamino, define him. He prefers to think, again and again, to that moment with Eeth Koth.

Cody didn’t know exactly what he wanted. His accelerated childhood, raised for war and war only, hadn’t given him the words for it. He just knew that for his brothers and he to have a chance after the war, they needed more. Or even more terrible horrors would certainly befall them. Soldiers without wars aren’t useful anymore, and tools with no use are only fated to be dismantled for parts.

Following Eeth Koth’s call, Jocasta Nu and her assistants had descended on the GAR with determination, great efficiency and anger that they hadn’t thought about that themselves. By dint of foraging the Jedi Archives, and every friendly archives of the galaxy, for legal precedent to help the Vode, they had forgotten all answers weren’t found between the terabytes of a datapad.

Master Nu is seated right next to Obi-Wan in the public and trying very hard to pretend her eyes aren’t misty, as Cody receives his diploma, earning himself the title of Doctor in linguistics, for his work with the forgotten Kel Dor city, right next to the first Kel Dor of said city to have made the jump to Coruscant.

Cody isn’t the first clone to finish his thesis. Not surprising:  he left the GAR years later than some of them, refusing to leave before his lover, who had been pressed into service as long as the Senate could justify it, and even longer. With Anakin leaving the Jedi Order, Obi-Wan was certainly the most famous member of it for the public, and it was as if the Senate tried to make him pay the Jedi’s refusal to abandon the vode. But Cody was the first clone Jocasta Nu talked with, when she arrived to try to help the vode not in pleading that they shouldn’t be slave soldiers, but in demonstrating they were so much more.

Cody wasn’t the first clone to leave the GAR officially, that honour went to Rex who followed Ashoka to Orto Plutonia, the first clone to be officially accepted as a member of the Jedi Corps. For what Cody understands, his life consists of almost losing his toes ten times a month, hunting with the Taz and flirting desperately with every passing skirts, as Ahsoka flirts desperately with her own Senator and supervises Republic-Taz contacts. Obi-Wan and Cody went once during permission, and Cody swore to himself that the next time Rex and Ahsoka wanted to see them, it could be on a tropical atoll.

Cody wasn’t the first clone to find a job outside of the Jedi orbit. That honour went to Fives and Tup, who left together and chose the most pacifist world they could. “We were almost separated once, never again. I’m not touching a weapon again in my life” Fives had said to Cody that day, watching Tup, busy hugging Rex, with something ferociously possessive in his eyes. Now, they have a nursery of succulent plants on a small island, in the south hemisphere of Alderaan, and Cody still isn’t sure if they are the best friends in the world, or one of those pairs who took brothers in a quite different sense, and frankly, he doesn’t care. There is a small potted thing they sent as a gift on Cody’s desk, with red undertones and white flowers once a year, but the former Commander has a black thumb, and only Obi-Wan’s careful nursing in the Force saved the poor thing already thrice.

Cody wasn’t the first clone to enter academia, that honour went to Waxer, who now teaches mathematics on Mandalore and is busy reintroducing Fett’s genes into the population with a long string of ex-partners, who still like him very much and with who he raises an army of children, at least three of them bearing a name honouring Waxer.

Cody wasn’t the first clone to marry, that honour went to Jesse and Cody isn’t touching that choice of spouse with a ten-foot pool.

Cody wasn’t the first in a lot of things. But it’s ok. He doesn’t have to lead his brothers anymore. He doesn’t have to bear responsibilities for death and help who didn’t come, and for the horrors that were their life.

The vode are free and Cody can only be a brother like any other.

He can be only Obi-Wan’s husband, even if Obi-Wan jokes that now, it’s more him that will be only the husband of Doctor Cody Kenobi, his arm candy in gatherings.

[newstfionline]

Sunday, April 25, 2021

San Francisco Contends With a Different Sort of Epidemic: Drug Deaths (NYT) The drugs killed them in plain view—in front of the public library, at the spot on Powell Street where the cable car used to turn around. Others died alone in single-room apartments or in camping tents pitched on the pavement, each death adding to an overdose crisis that is one of the worst in the nation. Drug overdoses rose across the country during the coronavirus pandemic. But in San Francisco, they skyrocketed, claiming 713 lives last year, more than double the 257 people here who died of the virus in 2020. For officials in San Francisco, the epidemic of overdose deaths has been both humbling and alarming. Many believe that the city’s preoccupation with the pandemic has eclipsed concern over the drug deaths and blunted the urgency of the moment. “I can say for sure that what we are doing is not working and that it’s getting worse every single day,” said Matt Haney, a member of the city’s Board of Supervisors who represents the Tenderloin, a district of low-income housing in the heart of the city that has seen the most overdoses. “I get offered drugs every time I step outside. It’s overwhelming.”

In historic move, Biden says 1915 massacres of Armenians constitute genocide (Reuters) U.S. President Joe Biden on Saturday said the 1915 massacres of Armenians in the Ottoman Empire constituted genocide, a historic declaration that infuriated Turkey and is set to further strain already frayed ties between the two NATO allies. The largely symbolic move, breaking away from decades of carefully calibrated language from the White House, will likely to be celebrated by the Armenian diaspora in the United States, but comes at a time when Ankara and Washington have deep policy disagreements over a host of issues. Turkish Foreign Minister Mevlut Cavusoglu said Turkey “entirely rejects” the U.S. decision which he said was based “solely on populism”. Ties between Ankara and Washington have been strained over issues ranging from Turkey’s purchase of Russian S-400 defense systems—over which it was the target of U.S. sanctions—to policy differences in Syria, human rights and legal matters.

Ravaged by Covid, Brazil Faces a Hunger Epidemic (NYT) Rail-thin teenagers hold placards at traffic stops with the word for hunger—fome—in large print. Children, many of whom have been out of school for over a year, beg for food outside supermarkets and restaurants. Entire families huddle in flimsy encampments on sidewalks, asking for baby formula, crackers, anything. A year into the pandemic, millions of Brazilians are going hungry. The virus is ripping through Brazil’s social fabric, setting wrenching records, while the worsening health crisis pushes businesses into bankruptcy, killing jobs and further hampering an economy that has grown little or not at all for more than six years.

Baltic states join NATO allies in kicking out Russians for spying (Reuters) Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia on Friday joined a fast-growing list of NATO and EU members demanding the removal of Russian diplomats for alleged spying, in actions that have infuriated Moscow and look certain to provoke further retaliation. A spate of tit-for-tat expulsions has plunged ties between Russia and countries of the former Soviet bloc to their lowest point since the fall of Communism, prompting Moscow to accuse at least two of them of deliberately wrecking relations. Lithuania said it was sending two diplomats home and Latvia and Estonia one each. “The EU should have less undercover Russian spies,” Lithuanian foreign affairs minister Gabrielius Landsbergis told reporters.

Cashlessness may have gone foo far in Norway, government warns (Bloomberg) Norway’s government wants to make sure banks don’t stop providing cash, as the country becomes the world leader in abandoning physical notes and coins. The Finance Ministry has told the Financial Supervisory Authority in Oslo to put together a plan that will ensure banks continue offering cash services, according to a statement on Friday. That’s after the FSA’s own survey found that a number of Norwegian banks “claim that they are not responsible for offering cash services.” Banknotes and coins are used in only 3-4 per cent of all transactions in Norway, the lowest level of cash usage in world, according to calculations by Norges Bank. Neighbouring Sweden, another nearly cashless society, has also sounded the alarm amid concerns that the complete disappearance of paper money would pose a number of risks.

Italian Police Accuse Man of Getting Paid for 15 Years While Skipping Work (NYT) A hospital in Italy’s southern region of Calabria fired Salvatore Scumace for not showing up to work. For 15 years. Mr. Scumace, 67, was fired last year from the Pugliese Ciaccio Hospital in the city of Catanzaro, but the news made headlines in Italy this week when Italy’s financial police announced their investigation into his remarkable record of absenteeism. His case was uncovered as part of a wider investigation into absenteeism by public workers. Mr. Scumace is accused of earning an estimated 538,000 euros, or more than $645,000, for a job the police say he never performed over the course of his long and less-than-productive career as a hospital fire-safety employee. A chronic problem in some public sector jobs, the Italian police have cracked down in recent years on no-show employees, investigating dozens of cases around the country.

Coronavirus: India’s daily cases climb to new world record as hospitals overwhelmed (NBC News) India’s coronavirus infections set a new world record for the third consecutive day rising by 346,786 overnight, the health ministry said on Saturday, as overwhelmed hospitals in the densely-populated country begged for oxygen supplies. India is in the grip of a rampaging second wave of the pandemic, hitting a rate of one Covid-19 death just under every four minutes in Delhi, as the capital’s underfunded health system buckles. The government has deployed military planes and trains to get oxygen from the far corners of the country to Delhi. Television images showed an oxygen truck arriving at Delhi’s Batra hospital after it issued an SOS call saying it had 90 minutes of oxygen left for its 260 patients. India surpassed the U.S. record of 297,430 single-day infections anywhere in the world on Thursday, making it the global epicenter of a pandemic that is waning in many other countries. The Indian government had itself declared it had beaten back the coronavirus in February when new cases fell to all-time lows.

Debris From Indonesian Submarine Is Found, Ending Hopes of Rescue (NYT) Debris from an Indonesian Navy submarine that disappeared this past week with 53 people aboard has been found deep in the Bali Sea, confirming fears that the vessel sank and cracked, the navy’s chief of staff said on Saturday. The submarine, the KRI Nanggala-402, disappeared early Wednesday off the Indonesian island of Bali while conducting torpedo drills. Emergency signals to the vessel after it failed to make contact went unanswered. The Nanggala was built to withstand pressure of up to 500 meters deep, but sonar seemed to indicate that the submarine sank to a depth of about 850 meters, well below what is referred to as “crush depth.” At that depth, even the steel hull of a submarine would almost certainly fracture from the pressure.

Jerusalem tension triggers Gaza-Israel fire exchange (AP) Palestinian militants in the Gaza Strip fired some three dozen rockets into Israel overnight Saturday, while the Israeli military struck back at targets operated by the ruling Hamas group. The exchange came as tensions in Jerusalem spilled over into the worst round of cross-border violence in months. The barrage of rocket fire came as hundreds of Palestinians clashed with Israeli police in east Jerusalem. The clashes, in which at least four police and six protesters were injured, have become a nightly occurrence throughout the Muslim holy month of Ramadan and show no signs of stopping. Jerusalem, home to holy sites sacred to Jews, Christians and Muslims, has long been a flashpoint in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. In 2014, similar tensions erupted into a 50-day war between Israel and Gaza’s ruling Hamas militant group.

60% of the world is online (TNW) The new Digital 2021 April Global Statshot Report—published in partnership between Hootsuite and We Are Social—reveals that more than 6 in 10 people on Earth now use the internet. Internet users have grown by more than 330 million over the past year, reaching a total of more than 4.7 billion at the start of April 2021. There are 5.27 billion unique mobile users around the world, which means that more than two-thirds of all the people on Earth now have a mobile phone.

Can We Learn to Live With Germs Again? (NYT) For more than a century—since scientists first learned that unseen germs cause infection and illness—we’ve tended to think of sterile environments as the safe ones. And at the start of the outbreak, when we didn’t know any better, it was sensible to disinfect as much as possible, including our groceries, clothing and personal spaces. It took time for coronavirus researchers to figure out that the risk of surface transmission is low—the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention only recently pegged it at generally less than one in 10,000. Despite the now consensus recognition that air transmission, not surface spread, is more important, most pandemic sanitation practices have continued. We continue to annihilate every microbe in our midst, even though most are harmless. The New York City subway, for example, has been undergoing a 24-hour cleaning protocol that includes ultraviolet light and a variety of disinfecting solutions.      But some health experts are watching this ongoing onslaught with a mounting sense of dread. They fear that many of the measures we’ve employed to stop the virus may pose a threat to human health in the long run if they continue. Their worries center on the human microbiome—the trillions of bacteria that live on and inside our bodies. They say that excessive hygiene practices, inappropriate antibiotic use and lifestyle changes such as distancing may weaken those communities going forward in ways that promote sickness and imperil our immune systems. By sterilizing our bodies and spaces, they argue, we may be doing more harm than good. “We’re starting to realize that there’s collateral damage when we get rid of good microbes, and that has major consequences for our health,” says B. Brett Finlay, a professor in the department of microbiology and immunology at the University of British Columbia.

[lapinbunwrites]

My Heart Is Yours

Ratings: GA

Warnings: None

Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Houses

Relationship: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Annette Fantine Dominic

Word Count: 6,222

Ao3 Link

Felix took a deep breath and exhaled, seeing his breath. He missed Faerghan winters. It was his favorite time of year. It was much like him; cold, harsh, and sharp. But underneath all the ice, there is a warmth and kindness that makes your soul happy and brightens your day. It was like waking up in bed, during the middle of winter, being warm because you’re under a lot of blankets. Though, Felix was finally able to withstand the summer. Not that he minded, it reminded him of his love, Annette. Sweet, kind, and shining, but both can be chaotic and messy. But he loved them anyways.

He sighed, it was rather rare for him to do this, but he walked into a floral shop to pick out some flowers. Even though it was hard for the florist to keep running their shop, they still had the flowers Felix wanted all four seasons. He purchased the flowers and walked out of the shops. He made his way back home and made his way to their graveyard. Felix stood in front of a grave...his father’s grave. He placed the blue and yellow violets by his tombstone before sitting down. He felt his heartache as he shed a few tears. It may have only been a few months since he had died, and it may have only been a few years since he had died, and it may have only been a few years since he became the new duke, the feeling of losing him still lingered. He wished he was still here, especially now that he was slowly entering a new phase in his life.

Felix wanted him to tell him how to be the new Duke of Fraldarius and he wanted to tell him to back off and enjoy his retirement and to enjoy it with his wife. Felix wanted to tell him that he was dating Annette and to tell him that he was going to propose to her one day. He wanted Rodrigue to recount the tales of his betrothal to his mother. He wanted to tell him that he was going to be a grandfather and that he could babysit his children. But none of that was going to happen. He could only hope that he was watching over them...over him.

Felix took a deep breath, “I want to propose to her,” he let out. “I love Annette with all my heart.” He looked up at the sky. He felt the warm winter sun dry the tears he had shed. “I will love her with all my heart much like you loved mother with yours.” He paused. He sighed. “Goodbye for now, father.”

He left the cemetery, walking back into town. He saw Annette sitting on the edge of the water fountain, surrounded by children. He smiled as he walked closer towards them. Felix heard her sing her songs to the little kids. Her songs eased his worries and cheered up children who were having a bad day. Annette glanced at Felix, giving him a smile as she continued sining. He quickly looked elsewhere not to show her his blushing face. She stopped singing to start giggling. To see him blush was always a gift.

Before the concert even ended, the children ran up to Felix. Anette smiled and giggled as she watched her boyfriend play a game with the little kids. They played a game the children call “Big Bad Wolf” where Felix pretended to be an evil wolf stealing goodies. The children would pretend to be heroes saving the town from the evil wolf and they would either “kill” or “capture” the wolf. Most of the time the children would “kill” Felix and he would lay on the ground motionless until one of the kids sat on him or did something naughty. While Annette was watching them play, she placed her hands on her stomach and fiddled with her ring finger. Watching them all play got her thinking, she wanted children. She always wanted kids, she knew that having children was a lot of work but she also knew that they were fun, spritely, and cheerful with their own highs and lows. She still wanted to have them, to love them, to fight with them, to grow with them. Though, she doesn’t know how Felix feels about it. They have talked about their future together but they never talked about having children. He said his goodbyes to the kids as their parents came and picked them up. Annette walked up to her boyfriend giving him a kiss on his lips. Judging by the fake smile on her face he knew that something was wrong.

“Are you okay?” Felix asked, squishing.

“Felix!” She laughed, genuinely. “I’m fine.” She took his hands off of her face and avoided eye contact with him.

“From your smile and the way you are avoiding eye contact with me,” he started, moving his head along with hers, “it doesn’t look like it.”

Annette sighed. He could always see through her. “I want children.”

“You want to make them?” He asked plainly.

Her face became a deep red. It became an even deeper color because when she remembered that they weren’t married. “W-We aren’t ev-even married!” She flusteredly yelled.

“We can change that,” he said nonchalantly.

Annette could no longer function after hearing his words. Felix felt around his body to grab the Fraldarius engagement ring only to realize that he didn’t have it. He let out a low growl at his own incompetence. To distract her from his terrible proposal, he started to sing a little song about their future together as they walked back to their home. It didn’t help much, it only made Annette more anxious. For the rest of the day, she didn’t speak to him out of embarrassment. She didn’t know how to take the situation, his proposal, if you want to call it that. At night, before they went to bed, Annette placed Felix’s head on her lap and started to sing him to sleep.

“You are my Big Bad Wolf!~” She sang softly. “With a heart of gold, gold gold!~ You are my Big Bad Wolf!~ You have cold dead eyes!~ You have sharp teeth, sharp tongue, sharp claws!~ But you have a heart of gold, gold, gold!~”

She stopped singing her song since she knew it would take one verse for him to instantly fall asleep. She took his hair out of the ribbon and started to play with his hair as she continued to hum her song. Annette thought about his song and his proposal, she wouldn’t mind spending the rest of her life with him, to cook with him, to sing with him, to dance with him, and the most important thing, to rule over Fraldarius territory with each other. She knew it was going to be a lot of work but she didn’t mind it so much. She was willing and wanting to put in the effort into it. Hearing Duchess Fraldarius had a really nice ring to it. By the end of her thoughts, Annette wanted a better proposal and she can wait for him to plan the perfect proposal. She gave his head a little kiss before she snuggled up with him before going to bed.

The next morning Annette woke up to an empty bed. As always Felix was up and gone doing Goddess knows what. She felt her heart become heavy as she left her room, walking through the big house by herself. She knew he was a busy man and she knew that he could never stay idle, she just wished that he would stay in bed with her in the morning, she wished he would shoulder his burden with her. All those thoughts went through her mind as she grew closer to the kitchen. The air started to smell stronger and sweeter as she stepped closer to the kitchen, someone was making breakfast, maybe one of the maids. Annette was pleasantly surprised to see Felix was in the kitchen making food. Seeing her big smile, he smiled himself. Once he was done cooking, he walked over to the kitchen placing a plate in front of her. With one bite of his food, Annette was transported to another plane of happiness and serenity making his smile grow ever bigger when she enjoyed his food.

“Oo, so good!” She said happily.

“I’m glad you enjoy it,” he smiled.

“I love it when you cook!”

Felix had no more words to say, he was just happy that she enjoyed the food he made and he was just happy to be home with his beloved girlfriend. After breakfast, Annette changed into something else, meeting up with Felix to spend a nice, relaxing day together before going to Fhirdiad. As the two walked through town, they watched as the children played, laughed and cried together. She placed her hands on her stomach, thinking about having children again. She didn’t know what he thought about it. He didn’t exactly make it clear the day before. Felix looked at Annette’s expression, seeing that she wasn’t satisfied with his answer, not that he could blame her.

Taking one big breath, Felix spoke “Annette,” softly.

“Yes?” She asked.

“Are you sure you want children?”

She became flustered. “F-Felix, we st-still aren’t married! Y-You still ha-haven’t proposed t-to me proposed to me properly!”

He sighed, he knew she would never let him live that down. “Not what I was talking about.”

Annette’s face became a deep red in embarrassment. “S-Sorry.”

“Are you sure you want children? They will be around us for the rest of our lives and parenting is very difficult.”

She knew that but she loved children, she was willing to put in the effort to love them, to teach them, to fight with them, to care for whatever children they might have. “Yes, but we don’t have to have them now,” she reassured him. “I know I’m ready to have children but I don’t want to force you to have them if you’re not ready.”

Felix smiled, giving her a kiss on her lips. He was so busy with taking over his father’s position and helping Dimitri out with official matters that it would be awhile before he could give their children the proper attention they deserve. “It probably won’t be for a couple of years until we start having a family of our own.”

“That’s fine, I can wait as long as you need me to.”

Annette took a hold of Felix’s arm as the two walked further into town, stopping at the edge before walking on a long stretch of land, there wasn’t another town for miles. The two stayed on the trail, walking further down the road, stopping again only a few miles away from town. Felix grabbed Annette’s hand and started to dance with her. As they danced, she giggled when he spun her out of his arms and when he spun her back into him. Hearing her laugh brought a smile to his face and hearing her laugh was music to his ears. They spent most of their day on the open road dancing and singing songs that she wrote and when the son set until it was there no more, it started to snow, adding to the already snow covered ground.

The two were only a few feet from their door when a smirk crept onto Annette’s face as she grabbed some snow, molding it into a ball before throwing it at an unsuspecting Felix. He turned around to see her stifling a laugh and trying to play coy. He licked his lips as he thought to himself, did he really want to be a child and play in the snow or not? He picked up some snow, rolling it into a ball and threw it at her. She pretended to be mad at him as she watched him smile and shrug it off. She laughed a bit cockily as she grabbed some of the snow and threw it back at him. She laughed loudly as he chased her around, throwing snowballs at her. In retaliation, she dove behind some barrels, poking her head out, baiting him every time. Each time he threw a snowball, he would miss and every time he missed he heard her giggling. Annette’s giggle was irritating him, it was taunting him. She was taunting him.

Every once in a while Annette would throw a snowball at him not seeing whether or not she hit him. Like Felix, she missed him every single time. Felix got close to the barrels, he slowly stepped to the side where she was hiding, she wasn’t there. He looked in the corner of his eyes, she was planning an ambush. It didn’t work as well as she hoped, he was able to hit her with a couple of snowballs before she was able to do anything. He grabbed her with one arm, twirling her around and held her close to him. Her laughs now were more pleasant, loud like she was having a good time, she was laughing uncontrollably. Annette’s laugh was infectious, Felix couldn’t help but laugh. He picked her up, smushing snow in her face, teasing her instead of giving her a kiss. When she didn’t get to feel his lips against hers, she pouted. He smiled and chuckled as he wiped the snow off of her face before giving her a loving kiss. She smiled again, returning his kiss.

Instead of putting Annette down, Felix carried her back home. He walked into one of the living spaces placing her near the fireplace. He put some wood into the fireplace letting Annette set fire to it and for added warmth, he grabbed a thick blanket to wrap around them. She placed her head on his shoulder, bringing a smile to his face as he started to hum a low tune. Hearing both the cackling fire and his little tune, she slowly closed her eyes, slowly falling asleep. His smile turned into a gentle, soft, kind smile as he watched her fall asleep. He kissed the temple of her head before he looked out the window seeing the still and calm night with a sky filled with stars and the Northern lights. It was beautiful, much like her.

He put out the fire before picking her up to take her to their room. Felix placed Annette on their bed and made sure that she was warm and comfortable. He changed and sat on his side of the bed looking at her while she slept. He wanted to spend every day with her, to wake up every morning with her right next to her, to cook her breakfast every day that he could, to have more days like these, playing in the snow with her. He wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, but she already knew that, he just wanted to give her a proper proposal. He gave her a little kiss on her head before cuddling up with her as he fell asleep.

The next few months the two spent their time in Fhirdiad writing drafts of treaties, training some of the knights, teaching some students in magic. With time flying, Felix got annoyed that his proposal he planned out failed. There was no more snow and he still had no engagement ring. He had the Fraldarius ring that his father gave his mother when they were betrothed, but that was not the one he wanted to make the whole thing perfect. He wanted to make it the most romantic and make it the perfect proposal he could. He had given himself one year to do so, he could only hope that she could wait that long.

Within the next year, the two were going back and forth between Fraldarius territory and Fhridiad finalizing treaties, training even more knights and teaching more students in magic. In what little time the two had they spent with each other. They danced with each other, sang with each other, trained together, they did anything they enjoyed together. And in the rare occasion they weren’t together, people would bother them about when Felix was going to propose to Annette or when was the wedding. It came to the point where Felix severely injured one of his knights and it came to the point where Annette set fire to one of her knights. They were done with people snooping into their private lives. Some parts of their love life was private and their engagement was part of it.

Annette walked into their room, wrapping her arms around Felix’s shoulders as he was finishing up some paperwork, feeling his warmth and the warmth of the candle light. “I was at the infirmary.”

“Oh?” He asked, shifting the chair back so he could sit her on his lap. “And?”

“They will be fine,” she replied, placing her head in the crease of his neck and fidgeted with one of the buttons on his shirt. “I don’t think they will annoy us about this anymore.”

“Good,” he said, kissing the temple of her head.

“Though, one of the healers hates us now.”

“Heheh. They probably want us to talk to them about it.”

“That didn’t work so,” she said, holding out her hand to make a fire.

Felix let out a low chuckle as he showed him what she did. When the flame burned out, there was only silence only to be broken by Annette’s soft singing. At this late at night her songs made her sleepy which always prompted Felix to carry her over to their bed. As he walked away Annette held his arm with one hand and placed her other hand on his.

“Please come to bed,” she pouted.

“I have one more thing to do,” he pleaded.

“Felix,” she said softly, “you are going to bed very late these past few weeks and I’m getting worried.”

“I know but I really need to get this paperwork finished.”

“It can wait. Your sleep is more important,” she said, pulling closer to her.

“It won’t be long, I promise,” he said, giving her a kiss of reassurance.

Annette let out a little groan as she thought it over. “Oh alright. This better be the last time you do this,” she said, giving him a kiss.

“I make no promises.” He gave her one last kiss before returning back to his work.

Felix looked at his “paperwork” and sighed. In truth, the reason he was messing up his sleep schedule was to write a song for her. When Annette wrote songs she made it look easy but when he wrote a song, it was agonizing, he didn’t know how she did it. He placed his hand on his chin and smiled at his song, he knew it wasn’t the greatest song, but he wouldn’t change any of the words he wrote down. He just hopes that she loves the song every bit as he did. When he was done, he blew out the candle and headed to bed. Annette pulled Felix close to her, holding him tightly.

He woke up the next morning with an empty bed. He smiled knowing that Annette must be in town for another concert that was planned. Along with both of them restoring Fraldarius territory, there were times when she would hold a little concert for children and adults to give them some rejuvenation and cheer. He knew that he wasn’t going to see her until late in the night, maybe after all of his errands he would see the end of her performance. Felix ran through a mental checklist of what he needed to do, with concert he didn’t have to overlook any building repairs, making sure taxes were paid, fending off bandits, the proposal, he had the proposal to finish. He ran through a completely different checklist making sure that he had everything prepared, the date was all set up, he had the ingredients for the meal that he planned, he had everything, everything except the ring.

He let out an irritated sigh as he walked out of his room. He was going to be by himself today so it gave him plenty of time to get the ring and still make it a surprise. Felix stayed close to home when he walked into the jewelry store. Looking around, none of the rings that he was seeing was catching his eye. After a few more minutes of looking around, he was relieved when he found one that Annette would love. The ring was two rose gold rings, one of them had little jewels covering most of it. The other ring had a moissanite stone with a circlet around it that had tiny jewels on it. One the sides of the ring had leaves that had a gem in the middle of it and had a gem further down the sides. He knew that she would absolutely love this ring. He paid for the rings and made his way back home to hide the ring from her. He would never admit it, but he was happy that he was able to get everything for the proposal, he now just had to wait for the day he set for the occasion.

Felix rode into town to where Annette was performing, he always tried to make the time to see all the performances that she had and every time that he saw her sing, his heart felt full and warm. Even though he was only able to catch the last part of her concert, he was still happy that he was able to watch her make everyone happy, especially now with the war over and with people’s heart broken due to it. After everyone met her and sang her praises, she walked over to him, giving him a kiss. She was happy that he was able to catch some of her performance and to see her biggest fan smile his rare big smile.

“You sounded amazing,” he said, kissing her back.

“Thank you.”

“You should become a songstress.”

“Ahaha, you’re funny,” she laughed nervously.

“We’ve been over this, I’m not funny. I really think you should become one.”

“Hehehe, I-I don’t know. I’m not that great.”

Felix raised one of his eyebrows. “That’s not true. Your performance tonight proves otherwise.”

Annette blushed heavily and started to fidget with her hair. She knew that he loved her singing but she knew that he thought she could be a songstress. “I don’t, I don’t know. I-I’ll think about it.”

Felix smiled. “I will support you if you go through with it.”

She smiled as she gave him another kiss.

A couple of days later, and as always, Felix woke up before Annette, but this time he had a reason he wanted to be up before her and not sleep in. Before he left the room, he faintly smiled, today was going to be the day he was going to propose. It wasn’t much longer that she woke up. She woke up to the smell of her favorite breakfast carrying its way towards her room. The only person who knew how to make it the way she liked was Felix...who was not in bed. She yawned and stretched before walking to the kitchen where her boyfriend was. She wanted to help him but he insisted that he would do all of the work. No matter how much she wanted to help him, he wasn’t going to let her, he wanted to make this day all about her.

“So what do you have planned for today,” Annette asked.

“A day spent with you,” he replied.

“Oh,” she blushed.

“It’s going to be a surprise.”

She started to giggle as he handed her breakfast, it was yummy. She didn’t know what was going to happen, but she was really excited, even if it might not be productive. After she ate her food, she quickly changed, meeting up with Felix to go into town. Lately, they have spent more time in town then they have spent with just each other. Maybe today was going to be that. They walked around the bustling town to go shopping, or at least window shopping. Annette stared at all the items that she wanted but never bought. Felix was trying to calm his nerves as they inched closer and closer to a certain place he had in mind. He wanted to make it a surprise even though she picked up on what he was thinking. She found the gazebo that he was eyeing.

He took her hand and led her into the gazebo and placed his other hand on her hip and started to dance with her. After a few seconds of silence, he started to hum a little tune that he created. Annette tried to hum along with him, humming in some places and not humming in others. And it wasn’t long before he started to sing a song that he wrote.

“I love the way you sing!~ I love the way you talk!~ I love you,” he sang and danced.

She smiled as he heard him sing, she loved his low tone when he did. He had a beautiful singing voice and it was always nice when he sang. After a few more words, she started to sing along with him.

“Marry me,” she sang as they danced. “I love the way you move!~”

Felix's face started to become a deep red. How did she not know what she was singing? She was so cute and oblivious. He took a deep breath and kept singing because it was the only thing he thought he should do. “I love the way you think!~ I love you!~” His breath became shaky as he kept singing, she was so oblivious. For some reason it wasn’t calming his nerves. “Marry me!~”

“I love your red hair!~ I love your...blue eyes,” Annette questioned. She looked up at Felix with a confused looked. She slowly realized what she had been singing.

“I love you!~ Marry me!~”

Her face became a deep red as soon as she heard those words. She was really embarrassed.

Felix followed her face as she tried to avoid eye contact with him. He pressed his forehead against hers to look into her eyes. “Annette Fantine Dominic,” he said, pulling a box out, “will you marry me?”

Annette let out a loud gasp as he asked her the question and revealed the beautiful engagement ring. She put her hands over her face to hide her face and not to show him how flustered she was. She couldn’t believe she was caught off guard, she was completely surprised. She took a few breaths before she answered.

“Yes,” she said excitedly. “Yes, I will marry you!”

When Felix heard her words, his chest was filled with cheer and warmth, he was so happy. It was like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. He placed the ring on her finger, picked her up, twirling her around before giving a kiss of joy.

“I love you so much!”

“I love you too,” she said, happily, giving another kiss.

Felix took a rose hairpin off of his shirt and fiddled with her hair.

“Felix,” she said, softly, “isn’t this…”

“Yes, this hairpin was my mother’s. It was a betrothal gift to her from my old man. She gave it to me so I could give it to the person I love.”

Annette blush became a deeper red. It was a beautiful hairpin that she cherished.

They danced and sang until the sun started to set. As they walked home, they told none of the townspeople that they had gotten engaged, it was going to be their little secret for as long as it could be. Once they got home, they went straight to the kitchen and thought about the many recipes that they both liked and instantly settled on one, fish and turnip stew. It was a perfect dish for the season, it would warm them up in this colder winter weather. Annette grabbed all of the ingredients while Felix grabbed all the utensils. In silence, she chopped the onions and the garlic, putting it in a large pot. While she was doing that, Felix cut up the fish and the turnips adding it to the pot. When she was stirring, he added a few spices like black pepper, cumin, red pepper flakes and salt.

At every chance she got, she would give him a little kiss, and every time she did, he gave her a little smile. Once they got everything into the pot to simmer, they set up the table. The food started to fill the air and it started to smell familiar to him. Felix held back tears as memories started to flood back to him. It was concerning to Annette and all she could do was hold him close and hold him tightly.

“Felix,” she said softly.

“This, this stew,” he said, choking on his tears. “My parents used to make this stew when I was younger,” he cried. “My brother and I would watch the two of them cook this and sometimes we would help them make it. I miss them so much.”

It was a rare sight to see him like this but she would never make fun of him for it. Annette held him close as he cried and consoled him the best she could. When he was done, she gave him a warm smile as she took her thumb to gently wipe the tears off of his face.

Annette didn’t say anything, she knew it was best not to. She took the bowls, putting the stew into them. As the two ate, they reminisced about the past. He talked about the things he and his brother used to do and how they would prank their father every once in a while. Rodrigue would get so mad but he never would be angry for very long, especially not seeing his two boys sleeping close together. Annette would talk about how her and her mother used to bake treats together and surprise her father and her uncle with them. She would tell him stories of how lonely she had felt after he left. It had been just her and her mother for the longest of time and it only hurt more when he wouldn’t come home after seeing him again. Felix reassured her that she was no longer alone, she had a family and it was him and all their friends.

Within the next couple of months, the pair were always so busy, whether they were rebuilding, singing in a concert, of moving between territories for one reason or another on top of their wedding planning. When planning, they agreed on a lot of plans and they vetoed a lot of plans, but all in all, they did have fun planning their wedding. The best part of it, especially for Felix, they got to annoy their friends about it.

Annette woke up, on the morning of their wedding, feeling the humid air flow into their room. She looked outside to the grey sky, it must've rained when they were asleep. It would explain why it was so humid, Garland Moon was a rainy and humid month. The biggest surprise so far was when she realized that Felix was still asleep and clinging on her hips. She couldn’t believe that he was still asleep. Annette let out a little laugh before she kissed his forehead and got ready. She spent most of the day with Mercedes getting ready for the wedding. She helped with her hair, her make-up, her dress, anything that she needed.

On the other hand, it didn’t take long for Felix to get ready, he didn’t put on anything too extravagant, just a simple dark blue tux. Him and Dimitri walked around the venue talking to people making sure that everything was set up and perfect. The only thing missing was the red and white rose garland that Annette had woven for him. He looked in the mirror trying, and failing, to put it on perfectly. Dimitri eventually helped him out after hearing his many irritated groans. Once everything was set up, Felix waited in a room close by. He jumped up and down to get rid of any last minute jitters.

His heart ached knowing that he was going to walk down the aisle by himself. It was going to be hard going into his next phase of his life without his father. He had been in every part of his life whether he liked it or not. But he knew in the depths of his mind and his heart, he knew that Rodrigue was proud of him and he knew that if his father was alive, he most certainly would have expressed how proud he was. He was alone but he knew that he wasn’t going to be alone for much longer, now that he was getting married and now that he was going to be a father himself.

Once everyone entered the chapel, and when everyone was seated, the music started to play. Felix walked down the aisle, looking straight down, seeing Mercedes at the altar. She gave him a kind smile as he stood close to her. Much like him, everyone patiently waited for the beautiful bride to come out.

Annette took a few deep breaths to get rid of her nerves. She paced throughout the room, sang a couple of songs, did anything to get rid of them. Thankfully a few words of encouragement from a friend, she wasn’t nervous anymore. She couldn’t believe she was going to have a family of her own soon. Part of her life it was her and her mother. Then it became her, her mother, and Mercedes, then everyone at the academy, and now, it was everyone, Felix and the child they were going to have in a few months. She was so happy that she was going to have a family and a future with the man that she loved so much.

Her parents came and got her to walk her down the aisle. As she walked, Felix’s eyes grew as he saw her beloved bride walked towards him. She looked beautiful in her white dress that faded into orange and her own red and white rose garland that was connected to her veil. She was so beautiful. When she got to the altar, Gilbert moved the veil over her head to the other side and she turned to face her beloved Felix with a warm, kind smile. Mercedes read a few lines of a script and read their list of vows as she placed a chord on their hands.

“Annette Fantine Dominic,” Mercedes said, “ do you take Felix Hugo Fraldarius as your husband?”

“I do,” she said, happily and cheerfully.

“And Felix Hugo Fraldarius, do you take Annette Fantine Dominic as your wife?”

“I do,” he said with tears in his eyes.

“Then I pronounce you as husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

Annette and Felix kissed each other before walking down the aisle one last time, arm-in-arm. They rode to their territory to set up everything before everyone came to celebrate. After they set up, and as time went by, people started to flood in, bringing them gifts. The music started to play and Gilbert danced with Annette as their father daughter dance. Moments later, Annette and Felix had their first dance as a married couple, after that, everyone started to party. They danced, they talked, they sang, did whatever people do at a party. Felix stayed close to Annette, and from time to time, she danced with him and got him to mingle with people when he really didn’t want to.

And after everything, and when everyone was finally gone, the two walked to the graveyard. They stood in front of his parent’s grave and Glenn’s armour.

“Hello,” he said, “sorry I haven’t come by and visited. I’ve been busy with a lot of things.”

Annette squeezed his hand tenderly as he tried to speak.

“I’m married now,” he sighed. “I wish you were here.” There were many things that he wanted to say but he didn’t know how to say it.

“Uh, hello,” Annette said nervously. “It’s been a while since I’ve talked to you guys.” She took a deep breath and exhaled. “As Felix said, we are married now and that we are expecting. You’ll be grandparents and an uncle in spirit,” she said, smiling. Much like him, she had many words but didn’t know how to say it.

Instead of trying to say something else, they took their garlands off and placed it on their graves.

“I miss you all,” Felix said before they left.

When they got home, and got comfortable in bed, Felix placed his hand on Annette’s stomach and rubbed around.

“You’re going to be a great father,” she giggled.

Felix only smiled and gave her a kiss before they went to bed. He couldn’t believe he was going to be a father. He was so happy about it. He couldn’t wait until they were born.

-------------------------------------

Yay!! I can finally post up this fic for FeliAnnie Mini Bang on Twitter! I was partnered with @tamyonmyonmyon! It was really fun to work with her! It's been a while since I've read this fic to name it so, afhafkljsda this the title I'll die with. Her lovely artwork!

[surreality51]

Guardian Meta: Love Song Edition

Can we talk about how the Guardian end credits song and the promo song are essentially love songs?

Disclaimer: In the great tradition of Western writers who think their opinion about things they have limited direct knowledge of matters, I’m about to screech about traditional Chinese views of love even though I am not from China nor do I know anyone who has lived in China past the age of 6. Everything I know about the matter comes from my Taiwan-born mother, whose relationship advice could be summed up as “never depend on a man.” You can guess what her love life has been like.

I’ve been listening to “Time Flight” and “Just Cared Too Much,” the promo song and end credits song from the Guardian drama respectively, on repeat lately and I just can’t get over how achingly romantic these two songs are. The opening theme song, “We Won’t Be Falling,” captures the can-do spirit of the SID team and the socialist brotherhood/power alliance between Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei that everyone associated with Guardian insists the show is really about, but the closing theme song and promo song will forever be the true songs for Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan to me and no one can convince me otherwise.

Just. look. at. these. fucking. lyrics:

*incoherent screeching*

It also doesn’t help that the official music video for “Time Flight/Flying Across Time” is nearly indistinguishable from the thousands of Weilan fanvids out there. 

I mean, the first shot of Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei has them framed with wedding decorations. The video editors were...not subtle.

In an attempt to organize my thoughts around this topic, I’m going to take a step back and look at how the song lyrics reflect a traditional Chinese approach to love and why it’s impossible to interpret the songs as anything other than love songs (unless you’re a Chinese censor, in which case, yes, these songs are totally about platonic friendship).

Stereotypical Eastern vs Western Approaches to Love

Let’s face it, the stereotypical Chinese approach to love is practical nearly to the point of being mercenary. The first question any parent asks when presented with an offspring’s potential suitor is, “What’s his job? What are his prospects? What do his parents do?” In other words, who gives a fuck about things like personality or compatibility or feelings. Romance doesn’t put food on the table.

The concept of falling in love with someone and choosing your own partner is relatively new in Chinese culture and maybe imported from the West (someone back me up/correct me here, I’m too lazy to Google this). According to family lore, my great grandmother and her generation (born 1890s Fujian province, married 1910s) followed traditional practices around dowry and matchmaking, where essentially your parents pick your partner based on family relationships and social standing within the community. You get limited say in the matter.

Western ideals around love, attraction, passion, compatibility, personality, courtship, and romance were traditionally not factors in a relationship, at least in the beginning. Instead, traditional Chinese ideals value steadfastness, stability, loyalty, partnership, duty, responsibility, and a love that grows over time. Whereas Western depictions of love in modern media often focus on explosive passion, magnetic attraction, wild declarations, daring courage, individual charisma, finding that spark, and, in more modern relationships, choosing someone who fulfills your personal/emotional needs or as an avenue for self-actualization, love in traditional Chinese culture is steady, humble, something that grows out of mutual striving, something that takes root deeply and quietly through the day to day, like two trees slowly growing together until they are entwined.

In the Guardian web novel, Zhao Yunlan’s father expresses the traditional view of love during his discussion with Zhao Yunlan about his relationship with Shen Wei:

“Perhaps one day, when your hormonal levels are back to normal, you will regret this decision.” Zhao’s father maintains a calm and stately tone, relaxing and not at all intimidating. It’s much easier to persuade someone this way; he says, “Passion is attractive; I’ve been young. I know that feeling. But I don’t agree with difficult love, do you know why?”

[…]

“Love is strong yet frail; perhaps in the face of adversity, it can rise up with great power, transcending into a sort of exemplary ardour, and that is why it’s been praised since ancient times. But you have to remember the saying: ‘It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out; it is the grain of sand in your shoe’.”

[…]

“Difficult love can be overcome with perseverance and grit. But love has to subside eventually, have you thought of that?”

—excerpt from chapter 74, RainbowSe7en translation

Again, modern Chinese relationships are very different, where the feelings of the two people involved often do outweigh the views of the family, and relationships are viewed more as individual choices made for personal reasons rather than collective decisions made for the well-being of the whole family. As Zhao Yunlan expresses, the modern view of love is intimate and personal:

“Dad, I know what you mean, but there is always someone in your life, it’s not because of attraction, allure, obsession, or mere lust; it’s if you don’t treat this person right, then you’d feel like a worthless prick.”

—excerpt from chapter 74, RainbowSe7en translation

But my point is that love in Chinese tradition stems from a different perspective. It’s a perspective that views feelings as fleeting, romance as a luxury. It values durability over passion. True love is something that can withstand separation, hardship, and the long march of time. It is built on a foundation of duty to one another, responsibility, patience, loyalty, sacrifice, and a depth of feeling that does not necessarily need to be showy or even stated aloud, but that can be felt intensely in one’s heart and seen in one’s actions.

Themes in Guardian Theme Songs

Given this perspective on love, it’s a no-brainer that Guardian’s theme songs are love songs, but let’s dive into the lyrics anyways.

Note: all lyric translations are based on the Orange Biscuit Subs translation.

Separation

Chinese folktales and mythology is littered with stories of tragic love and separation. It seems like the more tragic the love story, the more popular it is, and parents loooooooove to tell these tales to their kids. (WTF, China? No wonder Chinese dramas are so overdramatic.) One story that my family liked to tell for the Mid-Autumn Festival is the story of Hou Yi and Chang’e. We would stand outside in the backyard and look up at the harvest moon, and my mother would tell us the tale of how Chang’e sacrificed herself by swallowing the pill of immortality and floated up to the moon, where she lives forever alone, yearning for her husband Hou Yi on earth.

Another very well-known tale is the story of the cowherd and the weaver girl. Per Wikipedia:

The tale of the cowherd and the weaver girl is a love story between Zhinü (織女; the weaver girl, symbolizing the star Vega) and Niulang (牛郎; the cowherd, symbolizing the star Altair).[3] Their love was not allowed, thus they were banished to opposite sides of the Silver River (symbolizing the Milky Way).[3][4] Once a year, on the 7th day of the 7th lunar month, a flock of magpies would form a bridge to reunite the lovers for one day.[3]

Yep, separated lovers get to be together for one whole day of the year. This is peak Chinese RomanceTM.

Given this cultural context, the ending of Guardian, with its brief reunion and the promise between Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan to meet again in another life, is considered not only tragic, but could potentially be read as extremely romantic:

Their mutual pact to one day meet again echoes the themes of separation and reunion that form the backbone of so many Chinese love stories:

Then there’s the fact that “Time Flight” is playing in the background of this whole scene, which very unsubtly shows that the song is specifically written about the drama ending and about Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan. I mean, there’s dialogue in the scene that matches the lyrics for chrissakes:

Steadfastness, stability, loyalty, resoluteness

Related to the theme of separation, another favorite trope of Chinese romance is the steadfast lover who awaits news of her beloved (it’s usually the woman who does the waiting while the man rides off to war or whatnot) without losing hope. The chorus from “Time Flight” includes this concept of waiting for news while keeping the faith, but what’s really interesting to me is how things shift from the first chorus to the third.

In the first chorus (above), it’s Bai Yu singing the lines. In the second chorus, Bai Yu and Zhu Yilong share them. In the third closing chorus, they share the chorus again, but the lyrics change slightly:

We know that repetition and variation are significant in poetry and lyrics, so we need to pay attention to how this change affects the meaning of the song. I’d quibble with the translation just a bit, because there’s a difference between “deng yi ge xiao xi” vs “deng ni de xiao xi.” The former uses “yi ge,” which is generalized, i.e. “I’ve been here waiting for news.” The “from you” is implied but not stated explicitly. But in the third chorus, the lyrics change to “ni de,” which is explicit, i.e. “I’m waiting for your news.” It’s a lovely shift that makes a common romantic trope even more specific and personal.

The final line is also a shift, taking the last line of the chorus and changing it from “flying together” (yi qi = together / fei xing = flying) to “I remain in the same place.”

Those last few words deserve some unpacking, since video subtitles can’t fully capture all the context and implied meanings of such a dense language as Chinese. “Yuan di” is not just “same place,” but also “original place,” or “where I’ve been all along.” There are multiple ways to read this, from “Across time, I have remained in this spot unmoving, waiting for you,” which speaks to those themes of loyalty, hope, and steadfastness. Or “Across time, I have not gone anywhere, so you can always find me here,” which speaks to themes of hope for your loved one’s return and optimism about reuniting.

However you want to read that last line, you can’t ignore how it plays into the romantic trope of keeping the faith for your beloved and awaiting their return.

Words Unsaid

I didn’t notice until I started writing this giant brain dump of an essay that the first word here is “zao,” meaning “early.” So that chorus line could be interpreted as “Knowing from the start that we would be separated.” I just….can’t with these lyrics. 

Anyways, we know that what’s left unsaid is often more powerful than what’s been said aloud, and you can see it in these lyrics here. Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei never say “I love you,” but it’s implied in all of their actions and looks, and it’s one of the primary plot drivers of the ending of the Guardian drama. As @riceworkshop discussed in this fascinating meta on Dreamwidth, it’s the selfishness of that love and Shen Wei’s choice to essentially use his life force to heal Zhao Yunlan’s eyes—putting the individual before the whole, his feelings and needs before duty—that cripples him and leaves him an unequal match to Ye Zun. But their love remains unspoken, largely due to Chinese censorship but also partially due to the whole “two people from different worlds/this can only end in tragedy” thing.

In the novel, Shen Wei knows explicitly from the beginning that anything between them can’t last and will only lead to ruin. In the drama the situation is different, but he no doubt senses that their time is limited, given the clues about Ye Zun’s coming and the fact that he already lost Kunlun/Zhao Yunlan once. When it comes down to it, “Just Cared Too Much” is literally the crux of Shen Wei’s problem.

(It’s Zhao Yunlan’s problem too, because if he weren’t so in love with Shen Wei, then he wouldn’t have gone back in time and looked at young Shen Wei like this:

And like this:

And said things like this:

Which caused young Shen Wei to fall madly in love with him.)

In Conclusion

In conclusion, China loves tragic romance and keeping soulmates apart for shits and giggles, Guardian’s theme songs are love songs, and I have spent way too much time thinking about Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei’s stupid faces.

[justimajin]

A Lovely Little Mess [Epilogue (M)]

→ Pairing: Seokjin x Reader 

→ Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut

↳ Pregnancy AU, Friends to Lovers AU 

→ Words: 6.5k

→ Warnings: explicit smut, a lot of fluffy goodness, jin being an absolute sweetheart 

→ Summary: Flash forward 2 years later, life has seemingly calmed down for you - you had your daughter, you graduated, you married your best friend, yet a big question was still left to be answered....oh yeah were you and Jin going to have kids of your own?

→ Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Epilogue(M) - drabble

Author’s Note: last chapterrrrr :D

C. 

Two years later....

Your black heels click loudly on the while tiled floor, willing themselves along the way so that you run properly. Double checking your watch you quickly race to your superior’s office, already aware that he wouldn’t withstand you being this late again but you had no choice in the matter. 

Dressed in a white suit, he leans against his desk watching the clock and you bite your lip at your tardiness being noted down by him. Quietly walking in, you place the new article on his desk and he gives you a smug smile.

“Only 20 minutes late....” He hums, picking it up to examine the content you came up with. His hair was dyed black today and you were surprised from the change, always seeing his hair being dyed strange colours over the course of your employment.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Min.” He points to a section.

“This, right here, I don’t like it. Fix it.” He hands you the article back and you’re still astonished by the man’s ability to read so fast.

“Yes sir.” You turn to leave, but his voice cuts in.

“Take your time fixing it, it isn’t easy being a journalist coming up with a new article so you want to make sure its perfect.” You nod, closing the door on your way out. That’s what probably confuses you the most about Min Yoongi, one moment he’s being strict with you, nit-picking all the little mistakes you’re doing but the next moment he’s looking out for you, not wanting you to fall straight on your face.

Hoseok has some of the weirdest friends...

However, you definitely were glad, if it wasn’t for Hoseok introducing you to Yoongi with a job offer in hand, you would have still been looking for a one. Ever since you had your daughter, you had been struggling financially, and any help at the time went highly appreciated from you.

Your daughter, Jiah, was now at the tender age of two years old and was growing up so fast you couldn’t believe she was just born a few years ago. After having her, you eventually did graduate, the experience not exactly being so great since you had recently turned into a mother. Jin had never once let your side, graduating with you and then opting to work at a local company nearby – ensuring one of you were home on time for Jiah when she left the daycare. He had proposed to you a year later, earning enough money to buy an engagement ring and then marrying you. The shining jade necklace was replaced with a simple diamond ring instead, and you soon found out he had consulted your mother about it before making the decision.

You had talked to your mother about the pregnancy ultimately, scared she would be furious, but with some encouragement from Jin you decided to do it. You’re speechless when you finish explaining what happened to her, because you don’t expect her response at all.

“Y/N are you okay?” She says, voice sounding quiet.

“Yes Mom...I’m doing fine.”

“Thank god.” She whispers, relief being in her voice before the tears come out. She never got to properly visit you at college, always working, but you were her top priority and to think you had gotten pregnant leaves a heavy weight on her.

Not because you were, but because you were scared to tell her.

“M-Mom I’m sorry for not saying anything sooner.” Jungkook really did make you lose track of everything important in your life.

“Y/N...”

“Yeah Mom?”

“When can I see my granddaughter? And your husband?”

A small smile makes its way to your face.

She would come to visit you more often, helping you out with Jiah and teaching you how to properly take care of her. Her and Jin get along so well, moments where they would cook together leaves a fond smile on your face, looking like a perfect mother and son-in-law pair.

You reach the familiar coffee shop, trying to squeeze through the crowd of people that wanted to get a taste of Hoseok’s famous latte’s and you laugh. What once was a place that would be your comfort turned into a place Hoseok could only dream of, customers always filling in the seats that used to be empty. The scent of fresh coffee wafts through the air, and you spot a familiar booth in the corner. Sitting down you smile at Mina.

“Were you waiting long?” You asked, sipping the ready-made coffee Hoseok prepared for you.

“Nope.” Mina grins, pushing her now long locks into a bun. The ring on her third finger shines as she does, and the nostalgia of her marriage to Hoseok hits you.

“How’s the pregnancy so far?” You ask, gesturing to the emerging small baby bump. It was odd, the roles between you suddenly reversed.

“Its only been three months, but we’re excited to have a boy!” She chirps.

“Make sure to feed him tons of coffee.”

“I don’t need another hyper baby on my hands.” She rolls her eyes and you smile.

“In all seriousness how did you get through all this? Morning sickness is the worst!” Her eyebrows furrow.

“I didn’t, but Jin would always give me food afterwards so it wasn’t that bad.”

“Ooo, the darling husband finally comes up into conversation,” She giggles, “Do you think you guys will ever have kids of your own?”

You avert your eyes and place your coffee down, looking dejected. Mina narrows her eyes, the situation feeling all too familiar to her.

“Wait...did you guys even...?” Her voice trails off, not wanting to sound rude by intruding on your privacy.

“No.” You bluntly state.

“NO?!” Forget rudeness, this was a problem. “Y/N, its been almost two years...” She whispers.

“I know I know. I just-“ This wasn’t going to be easy to explain. “Last time I slept with someone, things didn’t end up going great...” Mina looks at you concerned and you continue. “Plus you know how its been with us, we’ve been constantly working for our future together but I’m just…scared, scared we might have forgotten about each other.”

It was true, once Jiah was born a pile of responsibilities landed straight into your lap and you didn’t have time for to dwell in any type of romance. It soon became tired greetings and falling asleep in each other’s arms to taking care of Jiah and ensuring she was okay. You and Jin hadn’t even managed to get a honeymoon, pooling in your money for your daughter’s expenses instead.

Jungkook didn’t seem to help the situation either, you had long gotten rid of him from your heart but the scars were still there. You love Jin, you married the man and he was raising your daughter with you for crying out loud, but doubts plagued your mind at getting intimate with someone again, the experience itself just bring up bad memories again.

“Y/N...he isn’t here anymore. Last I heard, Jungkook moved to a different city.” You know she’s trying to provide some sort of reassurance for you, but it isn’t something you can simply brush off. Mina notices this, but her determination is unwavering.

“Y/N. Is your mom coming over today?” You nod, arching an eyebrow at her question.

“Tell her to come over to our place with Jiah for the night.” Understanding her plan, your eyes immediately widen.

“What are you saying?” You harshly whisper.

“I’ve made up my mind, you and Jin are spending the night together.” A horrified expression is on your face, but Mina doesn’t back down.

“Don’t look at me like that! You guys didn’t even have a honeymoon...”

“B-but we can’t just, just, y-you know!!” You’re stuttering like crazy and you don’t understand what you’re so suddenly worked up about.

“Go out for dinner then! Dress yourself up! Spend some much needed time with your husband!” You were contemplating now.

Dinner with Jin did sound nice...

Maybe Mina was right, how long were you going to avoid this? Jin wasn’t a friend anymore, he was your husband and you should have enough trust in him without a damn shithead plaguing your thoughts again.

“Fine.” You make your resolve and Mina exclaims, alarming Hoseok who was serving customers behind the booth from yours.

“What happened?? Is it the baby?!” He shouts and Mina winks at him.

“Hoseok we’re going to be having Mama and Jiah over for the night.”

“What? Why?”

“Because operation get Y/N and Jin together for the second time has officially begun.” Mina smirks in all her glory and you blush.

This was going to be a long night.

***

You pack back and forth in your kitchen, anxiety running through you. Jin was supposed to be home at any minute and this was becoming intolerable for you. You were spending the night with your husband, it wasn’t that big of a deal, people do it all the time; but you weren’t like most people. It had been two years since you had gotten intimate with someone and the thought of it was closely associated with a betrayal.

In short, your general view of it was rather negative.

But you loved Jin, and you wanted to set everything right.

“So um, are you going to keep walking back and forth, or finally notice I’m home?” You abruptly stop on your heels, still not having changed out from your work clothes, to see Jin shrugging off his coat, revealing the black business suit he usually wears to work.

He smiles at you and the years have had a huge effect on him, his natural brown hair having been dyed a blonde shade, surprisingly giving him a more mature look. Instead of the choppy bangs he would usually adorn in college, he had started gelling up his hair to reveal a large portion of his forehead, which would do wonders from his eyebrows constantly being exposed to your eyes. Due to work he would also opt out to wearing suits majority of the time, something you wouldn’t really complain about.

Jin had basically grown to be even more handsome over the years and although you didn’t usually pay so much attention to it, it was now that it felt utterly nerve-wracking to see him like this.

“Hey you okay?” His eyebrows, god his eyebrows, furrow and he walks towards you, feeling worried about your panicked expression. He cups your cheek, looking straight into your eyes and strangely it feels like the world is stopping, but you manage to pull yourself together and step back.

“Yeah I’m fine!” You squeak.

“Where’s your mom and Jiah?” He turns around, scanning the apartment.

“Oh um, there at Hoseok’s and Mina’s for the night...”

“Really? That’s strange...”

“A-actually it was Mina’s suggestion, she thought it would be nice for us to have dinner together.” You gaze at your hands, slightly peeking up to see his reaction.

“Woah that’s awesome!!” He has a huge grin on his face and you’re taken back to college Jin, the best friend of yours with an incredibly endearing childish side. He grabs his coat and shrugs it on, however you feel awkward in the situation, recalling that Mina told you to dress up.

“Come on what are you waiting for?” He says, holding out his hand.

“I-I was going to change.” Jin shakes his head, chuckling to himself.

“You always look nice, what’s the point?” You’re surprised, taking his hand in yours, not being able to contain the faint blush on your cheeks when you head out the door.

***

The dinner was expensive, and you cringe at how costly it would have been but you set that thought aside. You were here to enjoy yourself so it would be better if you weren’t concerned with money for once this evening.

“Ah Mr. and Mrs. Kim, right this way.” The waiter brings you to your table and its almost feels like Jin’s dragging you to the table, your legs feeling like jelly from the lack of strength to properly walk.  

You sit down across from Jin and stare at the menu, thoughts racing chaotically in your head. You feel like you shouldn’t have agreed to all this, because now you were just hyper-aware of the fact that Jin was near you and you couldn’t calm down any of your nerves. This wasn’t supposed to be so hard, you’re just having dinner with him at the moment after all, but it seemed so significant.

Did these two years actually bring you farther from Jin?

“So I was thinking I’d go to the Bahama’s with Jiah, you know, blow off tons of money while I’m at it and show her that tigers are definitely stronger than sharks underwater, but don’t worry I’ll send you a postcard.”

There’s a brief silence, but your eyes finally flicker again.

“W-what?” You sound dazed, caught up in your own world. Jin tries to hold back his laugh, but his suspicions were confirmed.

“So I can go to the Bahama’s?” He asks, slightly amused.

“The Bahama’s?!” Your eyes widen. “Kim Seokjin are you crazy?” You exclaim.

“Finally.” He sighs in relief. “I thought I’d never get your attention.”

There’s a look of guilt in your eyes, you were so concerned about the evening that you failed to notice Jin wanting to spend some genuine time with you, but here you were clouding it with your own doubts.

“S-sorry...” He doesn’t seem to mind much, but you still feel bad.

“Alright, tell me what’s wrong.” He looks up from his menu. “You look really stressed out right now, is it work? Damn Yoongi’s gotta go easy on you, I mean I know he’s Hoseok’s friend and all but I don’t like seeing him stress out my wife.”

“No, its not that.” You take a deep breathe. “Its been so long since we’ve gone out like this.”

You think he’s about to retort you on this, but instead he holds your hand, playing around with the ring on your finger that matches his own.  

“We became parents before we became husband and wife.” He states, and you’re a little surprised at his acknowledgement of reality. Maybe you weren’t the only one feeling this way...?

“Even though our circumstances didn’t give us the story we wanted, it doesn’t mean we can’t fix it now.” His eyes lock on yours and you wonder if you’re still talking to Jin, but it’s the main difference in him now.

He was your husband, not just your best friend.

Grasping the hand that was holding yours, you smile at his encouragement. “I’d like that.” His sincere eyes don’t leave your own, being glad you were both on the same page.

The food eventually arrives and both of you devour it, not realizing how hungry the two of you were. You occasionally talk through to each other with updates about your lives. You learned that he had become close with his two co-workers, but they were younger than him and would slack off, causing trouble.

“I found them sleeping at their desks Y/N! SLEEPING WHEN THE FIRE ALARM RANG!!” Your stomach hurts at laughing so hard, tears forming in your eyes.

“How,“ You pause, trying to catch your breath, “did they not notice?” His co-workers, Jimin and Taehyung, did sound amusing to you.

“Between the two of us,” He whispers, “I think there the ones who pulled it.” He looks absolutely determined in his answer.

“So you have two idiots pulling fire alarms at your work while I have a boss that’s out to get me.” You conclude, finishing off your food.

“And yet neither of us shared these experiences.” He brings up and you know he’s right. You’re about to answer him back, when a familiar dessert makes its way to your table. Your jaw drops down, not expecting it at all.

Because in front of you, was smores ice cream.

“You...” He has his head propped up with his arm, smiling at you. “You got me ice cream?!”

“It’s actually an experiment, it always calmed you down when you were pregnant so I was thinking it would work when you were stressed.” He knows its worked, because you take the first bite and look like you’re in complete heaven.

“Mmm its so good!!” You exclaim and Jin reaches out to wipe a piece that was on the corner of your mouth. You freeze, nostalgia coming back at you from the gesture. Jin however notices that this time, you didn’t seem to move back with any pain being deeply reflected in your eyes, his presence being captured in them instead.

You had both changed since then.

“Aren’t you going to give me some?” He questions, when you’ve clearly eaten majority of it. You nod and hand him the spoon, but he gestures you to feed him instead. You give him a scoop and he hums at the taste, enjoying it.

“Still stealing my ice cream...” You mumble.

“Sorry? What was that?” He teases, hearing your little remark.

“Nothing!” You smile, and he raises an eyebrow. You wish you could replay this scene in your head forever, because it was just you and Jin, no finances to stress about, no kids to be taken care of, no jobs to be exhausted from.

Just you and Jin.

***

“ARGHH IM SO FULL!!” You yell out, one arm lazily hanging around Jin’s as you walk to his car.

“I think I just went broke from all that ice cream you ordered.” Jin sighs and you snicker.

“I wasn’t the one paying for it~” He playfully glares at you.

“You’re evil.”

“You married this evilness.”

“Good point, I should have married the ice cream instead.” Opening the car door, you sit inside. He starts the car and you feel relaxed, but that doesn’t last too long.

You were heading home...

Tension consumes you again while Jin drives, unaware to what Mina had planned for the two of you tonight. You start coming back into that restlessness state again, the way you were in the restaurant before Jin managed to calm you down. Before you know it, the car stops and you’ve arrived at your apartment, walking into the building. Uneasiness seeping in again, the only thing you can do is mindlessly follow him into the apartment.

Jin shrugs off his coat and unlaces his shoes, walking into your bedroom while yawning. You realize you’re losing the single opportunity Mina had granted you, and you weren’t going to let it slip from your hands so easily.

“Jin!” You say, not wanting him to leave.

Jin turns around looking confused, “Yeah Y/N?” He asks as you slowly step towards him. You don’t what to say, or how to say it, especially when he caresses your cheek in his warm hand and looks at you with those radiant, expectant eyes of his.

You unconsciously lean forward.

He’s caught completely off guard when you capture his lips against your own, but he kisses you back, cherishing any moment he got the chance to do so. The kiss starts off purely innocent, as majority of your kisses were, however Jin raises an eyebrow when he sees your hands begin to slowly hover over his torso. You suddenly push him against the bedroom door, fisting his shirt in your hands and start to trail soft kisses down from his jaw to his throat.

Jin’s breathing rapidly increases from the action however he feels confused.

“Y/N wha-“ He’s at a loss of words when you suck harshly on the skin of his collarbone, causing a deep groan to escape from him.

He didn’t know how much more of this he could take.

Jin laces his hands around your waist, swiftly picking you up in his arms and entering your bedroom. Placing you on the bed, he loosens his tie and hovers over you, before descending down. He kisses you feverishly, losing himself completely and depriving you from any oxygen you needed to breathe. Tilting his head and deepening the kiss, you let out a gasp when he slips in his tongue in and explores your hot caverns.

A moan involuntarily escapes from your lips when he bites down on the soft flesh of your lip, clutching onto the back of his shirt to bring him closer to you. He starts attacking your jawline and neck, sucking harshly on the skin to leave bruises in the shape of his lips. You bite down on your lips when he reaches the juncture behind your ear, letting out a muffled moan when he bites down and then sooths the area with his tongue. His hands make their way to the front of your blouse, slowing unbuttoning it.  

Your chest rises rapidly, your heartbeat ringing through your ears.

“I love you.”

Your eyes immediately widen.

“I love you Y/N, I will always love you.” Jungkook pants out when you let out a whine, his words just influencing the effect he was having on you. He continues to unbutton your shirt, leaving small kisses on the presence of your soft skin, which causes a giggle to leave you.

“I love you too Jungkook.” You say with a sigh, bringing him closer to your own embrace.

You fist the sheets underneath you, tears welling up in your eyes. You quickly cover your mouth with your hand, but its too late when you hear the harsh sob escape from you.

Jin immediately looks up, eyes completely blown out in lust and his chest rapidly rises and falls, but he stops his actions at once when he notices the trembling of your shoulders.

“Y/N?” He breathes out, cupping your face in his hands when he notices you trying to hide yourself behind your hands. He’s afraid that he must have done something wrong, that he had let his own desires overtake him to the point of hurting you.

“Y/N I’m so sorry,” He leans his forehead against yours, “we can stop we don’t have to do this.”

You open your tear stained eyes and stare into his, letting you see everything he was feeling. You can see the intensity in his eyes, the desire he was having for you and yet you can see him holding himself back for you, controlling himself from the temptation.

“I’m sorry,” You whisper, but your voice cracks, “It isn’t you, it was never you.” Jin’s eyes look at you puzzled, but the words sink in and he knows exactly what you’re saying.

You’re surprised when you see Jin’s eyes now reflect anguish in them, instead of the anger you had been expecting. They flicker again, disregarding the emotion before he protectively embraces you in his arms.

“Y/N I’m not him, I’ll never be him, I won’t leave you.” Although it does bother him greatly to be compared to someone else, he knows the effect its left on you and the last thing he wants to do is dig deeper into your scars.

“Y/N, I don’t want to force you into anything.” He whispers, his words bringing so much reassurance to you.

Its extremely comforting to know, that Jin holds your fragile, vulnerable broken heart in his own two hands, but you don’t see him brutally closing his fists and shattering it into tiny pieces.

Instead he caresses it gently, protecting it at all costs and ensuring it would stay whole no matter what.

Even at the cost of his own feelings.

“I love you.” The words come out quietly, but they flow out with so much ease, no more doubt being present to cloud your mind.

Jin raises his head and looks into your eyes, anxiously searching if those words were directed towards him.

“I love you so much Kim Seokjin.” Something in his eyes crack and he furiously kisses you when he hears those words, his kiss being full of heavy passion.

“Say it,” He whispers, “Say it again,” He leaves open mouthed kisses on your throat, making your eyes flutter shut and your hands reach out for his soft blonde locks.

“I love you Jin.” You breathe out and he strips you of your white blouse, letting you be on full display for his wandering eyes.

Covering his face in the crook of your neck, he groans and sounds defeated. “Why did you have to wear lace?” He lets out and you’re about to giggle at his comment but hear a small click, his hands working to take the material of your lacey bra off.  

You realize your top off is completely bare to him and you attempt to cover yourself when his staring becomes too prolonged. He pins your wrists against the bed and leans down to whisper in your ear.

“Don’t ever try to hide your beautiful self from me.” He shrugs off his suit jacket and throws it in some corner of your room, taking one of your exposed buds into the warm heat of his mouth. You gasp when he circles his tongue around it and rubs his thumb in excoriating circles against the other one, the stimulation being too much for you. You let out a cry when he sucks on the bud, the sensation bringing a tinge of pleasure to you and causing heat to pool down at your centre.

You clutch desperately at his back, the material of his shirt feeling like too much of a hinderance to you.

You tug on it annoyed and Jin understands what you want, pulling on his tie and unbuttoning it. He smirks at your frustrated reaction when he unbuttons each one extremely slowly and you eventually have to whine for him to hurry up.

Letting the silky material fall from his shoulders, your eyes widen at how lean and built he was, his shoulders appearing to be much broader to you. He leans down towards your arms and you run your hands over the smooth expanse his chest and abdomen. His bare chest presses against your own and you can feel the warmth radiating off his body when he moves to trail kisses down your neck. You flutter your eyes shut, being so consumed in the feeling of his lips.

You soon feel a tug on your pencil skirt, before Jin harshly tugs it off and exposes your thighs. He stares into your eyes, his chest heaving and a layer of sweat covering his skin.

You’ve never seen something so beautiful.

“That skirt of yours...has been driving me nuts these past two years.” Your breath hitches at his words, noticing his eyes have turned significantly darker.

“Do you know how many times,” He leans down to your ear, “you would bend over,” he whispers, “and be on full display for me?” He deeply exhales, “How I would have to control myself around you?” You feel a throbbing sensation at your core from his words and it causes you to unconsciously rub your thighs together, in need of some desperate relief. Jin’s eyes catch the action and a small smirk makes its way to his lips.

“Would you like some help with that?” He whispers, and you know exactly where you needed him already.

“Y-yes Jin, hurry up please.” You whine and he darkly chuckles before descending down to your core.

He slides your panties down with a flicker of his finger and pushes your thighs apart, sliding you to the edge of the bed and then pinning them down with his iron grip. When his eyes lands on the sight of your wetness, he groans.

“Y/N, I won’t be able to hold back.” He truthful declares and you nod furiously, needing some kind of relief from his prolonged teasing.

He starts off with a trail of kisses along your inner thighs and your breath quickens when he reaches closer to your core, hovering over it. He pauses and you can’t help the desperate whining that escapes you.

“Jin pleas-AH!’ Your body immediately reacts, fisting the sheets underneath you when he licks a stride up your folds. He doesn’t start off slow at all, instead completely devouring you with his tongue and indulging in the warmth of your walls. He eats you out almost like he’s a starving man, being deprived completely from the sweetness of your core. His tongue reaches places you had forgotten even existed and you’re soon a panting mess, roughly grabbing onto his hair to bring him closer. He inserts a digit in your walls, curling it only slightly but enough to make you whimper loudly. Adding two fingers more, he stretches you out completely and your walls soon start clenching around them when he reaches a place that has you seeing stars.  

Your vision goes hazy and your body violently shakes when your climax hits you, your toes curling at the sensation. Coming down from your high, Jin brings his lips to yours and you taste a bit of yourself on them. He grinds his hips against your own, letting you feel how hard he had become.

“This is what you do to me.” He pants out and you buck your hips into his, needing him inside of you right away. Jin reaches down and unbuckles his belt, kicking off the remainder of his clothes from the bed. He lines his length with your entrance and reaches out to interlace his hand with yours.

“Are you ready?” He asks, looking at you with eyes full of devotion and letting you know that you still had the chance to tell him to stop.

“Yes yes, please Jin.” You rolls your hips against him again and he groans. He pushes through, halfway in before the stretch starts to become too much for you.

“Shit.” You wince, clenching your eyes shut.  

“Are you okay?” He asks, eyes looking down at you in concern.

“I’m fine, just keep going.” You pant out, keeping your eyes shut tightly.

Jin squeezing your hand in reassurance and continues, pushing all the way in. Your walls tightly clench on his thick length, trying to accommodate to his size. He stays still and peppers soft kisses on your lips and neck, attempting to distract you from the pain.

Pleasure replaces the pain soon and you rock your hips against his, gesturing for him to move. Jin moves slowly initially rolling his hips sensually against yours.

“Jin g-go faster.” Your voice is thickly laced with desire, needing him right now.

His eyes darken at your words and before you know it, he’s slamming into you at a rapid pace erupting a loud moan from you. You look with hazy eyes to see Jin’s face contorted with pleasure, his wet hair dripping with sweat. He grabs your thighs, hooking it over his hip bone and starts hitting your sweet spot, making you cry out in pleasure.

“R-right there Jin, right there.” He lets out a rough moan and your chest is heaving, gasping desperately for air.

“I-I love you Y/N, I love you so much.” Jin whispers repeatedly in a mantra, as if it they were the only words he knew to say.

“I love you too.” You hold on him when your walls begin to clench, rapidly reaching your high once again. His warm seed shoots into you, en-coating your walls essence in it and Jin buries his head in your neck, letting out a strangled moan. You soon follow him when you go through your second orgasm, clutching onto him tightly when your body shakes.

You stay like that for a moment, both of you panting and gasping, drenched in sweat. Jin pecks your lips softly, and you contently sigh against them. You discover you never let go of his hand, still being attached to one another and a smile arises when you see the light glint of your ring shining. Jin turns his attention to your view and a soft smile works it way to his lips.

“Seeing you pregnant with my child doesn’t seem like such a far-fetched idea anymore.” He leans his forehead on yours, and the idea of a smaller you and Jin running around makes you giggle. Jin’s ears perk up at the sound and he kisses you again.

“Calm down, I’m not going to get pregnant so easily again.”

“Well that just means we’re going to have to try more than once.” He whispers against your ear seductively, tracing the outline of your body with his fingertips which makes you blush. He grinds his hips against yours and you let out a low moan, the idea arousing you but your body not wanting to compel.  

“Jinn!” You whine, “I’m tired...” You let out a sigh, knowing you would need a decent nap before round two.

“Alright, alright.” Jin says, slipping out of you and you feel the aftermath of your night pool in between your legs, making you squirm. Jin reaches out and grabs some tissues, wiping the remains with them. Throwing the tissues out he laces an arm around your waist, embracing your form against his and you get lulled into a deep sleep.

***

You wake up to the feeling of your body feeling incredibly sore, the aftermath of last night’s events being too evident. You feel Jin’s soft breathing against your bare back, causing you to slowly roll over to face him. His blonde bangs hang down and he has a peaceful expression painted on his face, looking completely content. You face him and reach out to push his bangs out of his face, his eyes fluttering open at the action.

“Good morning.” You whisper, a small smile appearing on his lips.

“Morning.” He reaches out for you, pulling you closer to him. He nuzzles his face in the juncture of your neck and sighs.

“I want to stay like this forever.” His voice is thick with sleep and you know he’s bound to fall asleep again if you did.

“Me too, but the others will be here soon.” You whisper and he lets out a small whine, holding you even closer to him. You giggle at the sound, knowing that convincing him to get out of bed wasn’t going to be a simple task.

“Come on Jin, let’s get up.” You try to move but he keeps you pinned down.

“Jin…” You say annoyed.

“Let’s just stay here, its so warm.” He retorts and you roll your eyes.

“But we both have to go to work, and I need to see Jiah. Besides we won’t get a lot done just lying around in bed all day.” You say but Jin abruptly rolls on top of you, gazing darkly at you and you gasp.

“I can think of some work we can get done here.” He presses his lips against yours, before softly trailing them down to your jaw, neck and then collarbone.

“Jin…” You sigh out, already feeling aroused again.

Maybe staying in bed all day wasn’t such a bad idea…

“We’re home!!” Mina yells out, the front door slamming open. 

Yeah, nevermind…

Jin lets out a loud groan and you laugh when he rolls off of you in frustration. The realization that your two year old daughter was probably outside of your door waiting to see you quickly motivates you to change, an action that ends up with you throwing Jin’s shirt at him.

“First pillows, now my shirt…” He mumbles, throwing it on and slowly buttoning it up.

“What was that?” You innocently ask, slyly grabbing the pillow on your bed.

“I’m going to go see Jiah!” Jin says, fully dressed and running out of the room as fast as possible.

You walk into the room completely dressed, seeing Jin holding Jiah in his arms and asking her how her visit at Aunt Mina’s was. The sight leaves a warm smile on your face, seeing the two of them together was always a scene to cherish.

“So…” Mina says, breaking you out of your stare, “how was last night…?” She trails off, expectantly hoping you would finish the sentence for her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You simply state.

“Nice bruises you got there.” She gestures to your neck and you slap a hand onto it immediately, not realizing that the purple patches of skin were clearly visible to her eyes.

“And this is why you listen to Mina~” She smiles and you rolls your eyes, even though you were definitely grateful for her help.

Jiah looks up excited when she sees you walking up to her, launching herself into your embrace. You giggle when she snuggles up to you and doesn’t let you go.

“Mommy I missed you!” She exclaims.

“I missed you too.” You sincerely say, not liking when you were apart from her either.

“I’ve really missed you a lot too.” Jin whispers behind you, placing a soft kiss on your forehead before disappearing into the kitchen to cook breakfast.

A faint smile appears on your lips, glad that things were okay between the two of you now and that there was nothing holding you back anymore. 

“Jiah do you want to help me make some pancakes?” Jin asks, causing your two year old daughter to sprint towards him, small excited giggles leaving her mouth when she stands next to her father and Jin laughs at her eagerness. 

Its ironic to you, how most people spend endless amount of time searching to find that one special person they want to spend the rest of there lives with, feeling so fortunate when they actually find their significant other. 

Looking up you see your best friend with you, joking around with you in between class and helping you out along the way. He drives you nuts, but he’s been there for you when you’ve needed him and you can’t see yourself living life without him. 

The image before you suddenly distorts and you see your husband in front of you, holding your daughter in his arms while he attempts to cook oddly shaped pancakes and jokes about it along the way. He works endlessly with you, takes care of your daughter and is the hand that always lifts you up when you fall down, making you feel so grateful to have someone like him by your side. 

“Y/N?” He asks, wondering why you were still standing there by yourself. 

Its ironic to you, as you move forward and stand next to him with a soft smile. 

That you didn’t even need to look too far. 

***

A couple of weeks later…

“Y/N are you okay?” Jin urgently asks, seeing you completely speechless with tears pooling in the corners of your eyes after emerging from the bathroom.

“Jin…” You whisper, right when the epiphany strikes you.

“What is it Y/N? What’s wrong?” He questions you with concern, only to be handed a stick with two positive lines being showcased.

“Y/N…a-are you..?” He’s in complete disbelief, however you only nod your head with tears of joy. A smile instantly breaks out from him and he embraces you in his arms, feeling so happy with the discovery.

He kisses you with tenderness, and you smile to yourself, recalling when you had first found out.

You wipe your mouth from the terrible aftertaste you had from evacuating all of your insides down the toilet. You reach out for your cupboard and pull out the all too familiar stick from it. You had been late and though it was the least of your worries, you were starting to get a bit anxious now. After a few moments pass, your result comes out and reality takes a surprising twist for you, giving you the one thing that felt like the final cherry on top to your story.

You were pregnant.

With Jin’s child. 

***

Author’s Note: And that’s a wrap folks! I would really like to just take a moment and thank all of you for reading this, it means a lot. I initially had a hard time with this series as it is my first one and I had my doubts, but I’m glad I chose to write it and share it with all of you! It’s really given me the confidence and motivation to continue writing, something I didn’t realize I needed. I’m also extremely grateful for all of you that kept up to date with the series and sent such lovely messages to me about it ^.^

Again thank you so much for taking the time to read this and going on this journey with me, Y/N and Jin send lots of love!♡

[transcending-chaos]

I really enjoy your art and find your headcanons for the creatures both interesting and somehow fitting despite there not being a lot of information about them. But I am curious, do you have any headcanons for each tribe in general?

(I got this question a while ago; using it now because my hands hurt too much to draw right now. Thank you for your patience.)

UnderWorlders

Those that live in areas like UnderWorld City, the Lava Pond, or places where the air is largely filled with sulfur gas have less of a sense of smell and taste than most other UWs. Scent isn’t as viable in those regions because it’s largely masked by the gases that spout from the ground. However, because this means that those Creatures have stunted olfactory senses, this is why they typically spice the heck out of their food (and you can sort of smell it in the air once you get used to the sulfur). They can’t taste most things without it, especially sweet-things, so most of their cooking is often really strong -be it simple dishes, to feasts, to really hard alcohol. This lack of taste is especially true in the Creatures that breathe fire, as they have fewer nerves in their mouth and tongues as a whole due to the extreme temperatures their bodies have been made to withstand.

Related to that last point, it’s why their hygiene seems a little lacking in comparison to the other Tribes. While they can certainly feel grime, they don’t smell it as much, and besides, water is a very rare resource for them so they’re not going to waste it with superfluous bathing.

UnderWorlders are strangely possessive of their Humans. Though most don’t outwardly show it (because that broadcasts something that could be used against them), those that have ‘wards’ or connections to Players will absolutely destroy something in order to protect them. If given the opportunity, most UnderWorlders would leap at the chance to have someone study under them (kind of like how Grook did with Kaz), as training is usually a social behavior shared not only among students and teachers, but friendly sparing between family members is somewhat of a culturally sacred thing. However, most are aware that they’d likely kill a Player if this was attempted.

Von Bloot was never a respected leader; his army was made of conscripts and people forced into a situation where they had no other choice. That being said, most are also dissatisfied that Chaor took so long to do something about him, as well as the fact that he wasn’t the one who finally got Von Bloot in the end. There’s a bit of a power-vacuum in the southern UW after he’s gone. 

Some UnderWorlders would swear that they can feel Fire in a few Players. This is part of the reason Chaor has not outright wiped Tom from existence (the other part being that his human is too attached to him). 

Danians

Danians are surprisingly adept at playing music and making instruments. Because of their connection to each other, it’s easy for them to harmonize sounds together and create layered symphonies that are perfectly in time with one another. They specialize in percussion, be it stamping of the feet, steel drums, or humming to make a beat. Also, younger Danians have a tendency to chitter or hum without realizing it. It’s pretty common to find their designated part of the Hive thrumming with sound, even in the dead of night. It’s a calming noise for the soldiers who can’t sleep, as it sounds entirely of contentment, and those with insomnia have a small medical barracks next to it so that they can be lulled asleep.

While uncommon, some Danians crave physical affection. Most have a pretty steely demeanor, but those with softer sides are usually the ones you can find befriending Players. Their culture isn’t too big on affection as a whole, so when encountering Humans (who as a species are aggressively social), it was like striking gold. These Danians tend to favor younger Players, as they are commonly predisposed to protect those they know cannot help themselves. 

Most Battle-Masters have a (mostly) one-way connection to the Hive. They can send out orders, but it’s hard for them to receive messages unless it’s from the Queen or her personal entourage. This is because they often have to make choices that will end up costing lives, and they don’t have the sense of solidarity most other Danian classes do. While many Mandiblors will provide solace to one another because they feel the loss and rift that fallen left behind, Battle-Masters typically don’t. After all, who wants to mourn when you’re the reason that they’re gone? Instead, you need to focus on the next fight and prevent such a thing from happening again.

Needless to say, that last point is a huge contention between Muges in the Hive and the generals. One focusses mainly on how things are connected, while the other is fundamentally incapable of understanding it. 

They detest spiders. All of them. “Nothing holy would create something with that many eyes.”

Mipedians

Typically seen as the most wealthy of the Tribes, Mipedians are totally unmotivated by most commodities, but are very willing to trade for food. As they live in a literal desert, it’s hard for them to grow much of anything, even in the oasis areas. Cactuses are farmed in some places, but for the most part they rely solely on imports. The biggest provider is the OverWorld, and strangely enough, no matter how bad things get between the Tribes, this agreement is never threatened (Maxxor has never considered starving them, nor would he dare entertain the idea; he refuses to punish an entire nation because their leaders aren’t being reasonable) which is a contrast to how how the arrangements between the Mipedians and the other two Tribes. 

Wearing chimes is a very common practice among most ordinary citizens. Not only does the metal heat up nicely in the sun, but it’s a way for parents to hear where their kids are. Most families will have their chimes tuned to a certain chord. Markets and bazaars are not only an amazing experience for the eyes, as seeing glittering scales, silks, and fantastic wares, but also for the ears due to the pleasant clinking of jewelry.

Mipedians have community sunbathing sessions. Towns have them at different times and days from one another, but it’s usually the highlight of the week. Typically, it’s just after the highest point of sun in the sky until dusk (though officials and soldiers leave only after about an hour or two). After that there are campfires in the night and shared potluck styled banquets. It’s great for community morale, as well as a grounding measure for those working in their political structure to see their subjects as people and interact with them as such instead of just ‘subjects.’ If one’s in the desert at night and there’s no breeze, you might hear jovial laughter and smell food on the wind. 

This is also a way of helping guide lost travelers home. It has saved many poor wanderers of all Tribes, and is the one time outsiders won’t be taken into custody immediately. 

OverWorlders

They’re the only Tribe with multiple classes and schools of Muge: Naturalists, Hunes, Archivists, and war-Muges. Naturalists are typically those who rely on elemental abilities, study the connections of the natural world, and believe that everything has innate tethers to the Cothica (something that’s rejected by the other schools). Hunes are primarily scholars or political figures, often trying to find out the nature of Mugic itself, demystify it, as well as create their own sphere of influence in the public. Archivists are like Najarin, where they take a primarily historically and anthropological view of Mugic, the world, and how things have changed. War-Muges are just those who learn to cast in order to use it in battle.

They’re the only Tribe that has territory that has other sovereign nations within it. The Gherix, Zeorn, and a whole host of others all occupy pieces of land within the vast realm, and many have diplomats stationed in Kiru. Also, if the Frozen weren’t ever intended to be a Tribe, I think they were just a society of OW Creatures that lived up higher than Glacier Plains (however it seems like they were meant to be their own thing, but this is kind of what I default to when making AUs where there are other Tribes occupying the 6th and 7th spots).

The monarchy in the OverWorld isn’t a typical monarchy. When in times of war, the council will elect a monarch as a tie-breaking vote that can veto or agree to motions set before them by other groups. Maxxor didn’t get the position because of his father, and in fact, he’s a better politician and negotiator that his dad. His father was a better general and warrior though, and this is something older council members will use to needle him when unhappy with him. 

OverWorlders have a strange superstition when it comes to twins. Many see it as a single entity that was split in half because the whole was “too bright a light to burn on its own” meaning that it likely would have only led a brief life that, while prosperous and happy, would unravel rapidly and severely. Most consider twins a blessing because of this, as it’s seen as a way of sparing the family from having to bury a child earlier than expected. 

Most villages have ‘moon pendulums’, or a set of stones on chains that trace the orbit of the three moons over a huge pit of sand or gravel. It’s essentially a lunar calendar that helps them keep track of the holidays. Some have special stones of different colors or that glow in the dark, just as a way of making sure no one bumps into it at night. 

[fakesurprise]

Arrangements & Threats

It was two days before I was able to return to the Tower. Being part of the government means you are not free, even when it seems otherwise. I could have pressed the issue, but the deal had been struck and Lady Tower was no longer a priority; it wasn’t a battle I felt I needed to have. I did manage to arrange for a portable scanner attached to my right wrist: my senses are more than decent, but they were made for war as much as the rest of me and the scanner could be far more thorough in finding more practical matters, assuming the Lady did not alter the signals.

I took two lifts up, had my ID pinged twice on reaching the upper levels. Everything was run down and scarred when it wasn’t broken. Any war hit the upper levels of a city first, so no one sane lived here if they could avoid it. Which didn’t stop it from being too full of people. I made my way through narrow side roads and what were once transit hubs that now sat empty. No one is rebuilding after the last war; everyone is just hunkering down and waiting for a new one.

I try not to think too hard about that, find the side street where I met the boy and take the route back to the tower the Lady was in. Several streets, rooftops, boards and finally the rope ladder leading up. I subvocalized a commands to the scanner. One inhabitant, according to it, but the Lady could easily fool it from down here. I made my way up, pinged my location to Control, and knocked once on the door.

It could be a trap; I would revolutionize what Lady Tower could do. But even she knows what I do, and the door opened.

To the left was the shower, one of the two fridges, clothing, the mattress. No Lady, no technology, not even a single table left behind. The walls boasted new scorch marks in them that couldn’t have been more than a day old. The boy stood near the mattress, not moving at all. I walked in, the door closing behind me.

“I have a deep scanner on me; I am afraid I must use it.”

The boy hesitated visibly, then nodded once.

No trace of the Lady at all. The boy, though, was a surprise. His left leg had been damaged and regrown at some point, but body definitely bioengineered to be better than human. The electromesh woven into his flesh had been put in far earlier than I’d suspected, and his body was the only reason he had survived the gas attack. Damage to the lungs, a shunt for food and waste where his stomach should be, the false voice box made by the Lady. All the technology was well made, and that not a surprise. The surprise was that one of his kidneys wasn’t.

I double-checked the scan. “Your left kidney: you have a pocket. What is in it?”

The boy’s eyes widened a little. He reached up and touched his throat. “The Lady has done the best she could, but the mesh eventually destroys any voice box,” he said, and this box was an improvement over the one a mere two days ago; I only was certain it was a false voice because of the scan and that I knew it to be so. “I keep spare voice boxes in there.”

He opened it with a wince, closed flesh a moment later over a space that was too big to be normal. I’d know a couple of people with pockets that contained weapons a time or two, but the construction costs were too high to justify it normally.

“Your ID has been tampered with by the Lady.”

The boy nodded.

I continued the scan. He was male, though his reproductive organs were inside his body and dormant. A very rich family, to even do that at all. I turned the scan up to his head, and winced.

“When you told me you sold your eyes, I had assumed it was temporary.”

The boy said nothing; his eyes were eyes, but the cameras installed inside all fed into his brain and to various arrays sending the data elsewhere. Currently the Lady was not receiving them, but the boy wasn’t capable of doing so himself.

“You have a name, I trust?”

“Mello.”

“Stevens.” I walked closer. The boy moved toward me, frowned. “I’m not wearing the battle suit your mesh destroyed.”

“Oh. Right.” He walked closer, ran one hand onto my left arm, then slowly to my face and dropped it. “You have a lot of implants?” “I do. She left you here?”

“She said she can’t do anything more for for my voice, but the government might be able to grow me a real one? And a new stomach?”

“Given your mesh, it would be – expensive, and difficult.”

Mello nodded. “I understand. Would my eyes cover some of that?” So hesitant, those words. “I will need to ask. Wait here?”   He didn’t move as I left and dropped down to another rooftop. I pinged Alder.

He prefers debriefs, but does understand expediency: I dumped the data to him.

“Interesting. The Lady wanting to make certain we never renege on our deal. By proving she does not?” “I think so. The boy is clearly from a family wiped out during one of the wars, but it will take time to learn which one. That the Lady can alter official ID to scramble it means she can falsify. And that others can as well, and she gave that to us.”

“You want to use the boy.”

“If we don’t, others will. Patched into our Array he can be a walking deep scan, though limited. We can’t lose that kind of resource.”

“Anything else?” “Nothing that can’t wait until a debriefing.”

“Heh. I’ll start the approval process. Take him to one of your safe houses; if he is compromised, we can’t afford to lose any other assets beyond you.”

“Understood.” I disconnected and returned. “My boss is working out an approval process. Until then, I’m taking you to a safe house.”

Mello shook his head before I’d even finished speaking. “I’m safe here.”

“No, you aren’t. Not for what we’d have you do. I can’t give you access to the Array without approval; can you tap into Network feeds?”

He nodded. “I can see myself through them, use that, but right now I’m –.” He waved his hands over his head.

“Open. Vulnerable?”

“Outside here, yes.”

“Noted. Stevens. Access?”

Mello was silent over two seconds. “Granted.”

“Disable cameras,” I snapped, and Mello swayed a little. I had access to the entire command structure in him, to an extent. Definitely over the cameras. I wanted to know what had pushed him to a deal like that with anyone, but now wasn’t the time. I grabbed his hands gently, took them to my face.

He ran them over me slowly, and then moved and went over my entire body. Without the cameras, he wasn’t getting much data. Even the ones in his fingers were turned off, and I wasn’t certain what those ones were meant to do. “Thank you,” he whispered after.

“Not a problem. Preference?”

“Left hand?”

I headed out and he followed, taking the routes he knew by heart to the street and then a couple of more blocks before his left hand wrapped into my right. I shivered a little, unable to help myself. I understood sacrifice. I understood duty. But whatever Mello had done to himself went far beyond anything I was comfortable with. I wondered if the person he had sacrificed himself for would ever know, and what they might do in turn. The worst thing you can do for anyone is something they can never pay back, but I wasn’t sure if the boy understood that.

Or perhaps knew it too well, and that thought was so uncomfortable I wished I’d never had it.

One lift and a levtrain and a short walk was enough to reach the safehouse. Mello was silent the whole times, eyes closed, just listening to the world with a baffled frown. I wasn’t sure how long he’d spent above, but it was long enough that the solidity of the city unnerved him. Everything quiet, regulated and sane.

Everything in the upper levels of the city was neat and orderly by design. The buildings functional and solid, designed to withstand war and provide shelter and attack locations for us if someone invaded with soldiers. Everything was environment-proofed if a storm broke through the surface, and that was also enough to protect against a basic impact rifle. Nothing like what the Core of the cities have, but it was far better than the surface where survival would be a matter of luck more than anything else. The roads and sidewalks were all neat and tidy, government patrols regular enough in their irregularity to keep things orderly on the surface.

The safe house wasn’t anything special from the outside, or even the inside. It wasn’t particularly safe, since that could draw attention if the area was scanned. It was larger than the official maps suggested though and the asi that ran it more advanced than most of the surrounding ones. There were two caches of weapons and a shielded link to the governments private Array. I’d had to reinforce the three rooms myself and pinged the asi ahead of time to order supplies during our ride.

“It’s – quiet,” was all Mello offered softly as the sidewalk moved us to the end of one unit of buildings. I normally walked faster than the sidewalks travelled, but given Mello I just kept still, turned down the next sidewalk, and the next until we reached the safehouse. The building looked like every other building on the street: businesses below, housing on top though the businesses were all fronts for various government operations. The building pinged my ID and we went on, the lift taking us only to the fifth floor. I led the boy down the hallway and to unit 5L13, the door opening quietly.

The interior wasn’t much. One common room with a kitchen unit, info centre and table, and two bedrooms with a connecting bathroom at the far end. It was far more open than most housing units in the area, but that was for reasons of line of sight rather than anything else.

“Asi: add designate: Mello,” I said to the assistant.

There was a pause as the computer scanned him. “Provisional access granted per approval. Provisional exception authorized?”

Alder might not like using a lot of the modern systems, but he used them well when he had to. “Yes.”

Mello blinked a couple of times and turned slowly. The Lady – or whoever she had worked with – had designed to ocular implants to not feed back into him. But I could at least have him connected to the room cameras and see his own body that way. The asi noted the supplied and designated sleeping quarters to the both of us, and a map of the surrounding area and access points to lifts and glide tubes.

The boy walked slowly into the one bedroom, coming back out a couple of minutes later in a different shirt and pants.”These fit. You scanned my size?”

I shook my head. “No. I am good at guessing sizes.”

“That is an odd skill?”

“Not really. I was in the last war with Eden 4. You get good at judging people so you can order body bags and ship the dead home.”

Mello was quite a moment at that. “For their families?”

“More to keep the tech inside them out of enemy hands. Unofficially, of course.”

He nodded and made his way to the kitchen slowly, running his hands over the world surface and the fridge before opening it. “You ordered food I can eat.”

“I would be a poor host otherwise.”

Mello didn’t respond, pulled out a small food pack, lifted his shift and inserted it into his shunt before putting a Full patch on one arm for a few seconds before throwing it out. His shunt was civilian grade: insert food back, get nutrients equal to a solid meal. Remove back later when it collected waste. Repeat. Military shunts could use almost anything as a food source in them, but that wasn’t something we talked about with civilians. Replacing stomachs was practical, but seldom done without just cause because you needed to use drugs to convince the body you’d eaten even though you had. Put the wrong food in a shunt, use a Full and you’d starve to death thinking you weren’t.

He walked over after, circling me slowly. Using the asi scans only, since it was all he could access. “You’re taller than I thought you were, ma’am. Do you – use another name, besides Stevens?”

“No, I don’t. Ma’am is fine, if you want to be formal.”

That won a shy smile. “I’d rather not, If I may?” He was quiet a moment. “May I ask you a question?”

“Yes.”

“Your eyes contain cybernetics as well?”

“They do.”

“Can you cry?” he asked, even softer, a slight tremble in the words. I marvelled at what the Lady had done to make such a voice box.

“No. I have always taken that to be a blessing.”

“Me too.” He licked his lips. “Thank you, for the helping.”

“You’re welcome. I’m hoping I don’t have to kill you.”

“Me too,” he said again, with feeling, the Lady definitely an enigma to him as well.

I left him to learn the safe house as best he could and returned to make my report. It was true I didn’t want to kill him, but not as true as the reality that I would without hesitation. Sometimes I am far too good at being the person I was made into. But a small part of me wonders if I can always be good enough: surely there would come a point where I would not sacrifice everything for duty.

I suspected it would only come with my death.

[livingcorner]

Best Types of Pond Fish for Outdoor Ponds (Big & Small Fish)

There are a variety of fish suitable for outdoor ponds, and they all come with different of colors, shapes, sizes, and requirements.

Depending on where you live, there’s a pretty large variety of fish that can be kept in outdoor ponds. You’ll have to be aware, of course, of their hardiness and whether or not they will be able to overwinter based on the climate that you live in. This is one reason of many why it’s critical that you research fish species to ensure the health of both your fish and your pond. In addition, some fish may get along well with others, and other species may be confrontational or simply enjoy eating fish that are smaller than them.

Another thing to keep in mind is that all fish have different requirements, so you’ll need to be sure that first, the fish you want can actually survive in an outdoor pond, and second, will be able to handle whatever conditions you have (water temperature, pH levels, ambient air temperature, nutrient levels, etc.). Below you’ll find a broad list of fish for just about any outdoor pond.

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List of the Best Pond Fish You Can Keep In Garden Ponds (Big & Small)

1) Common Goldfish (Carassius auratus)

Read more: What Kind of Paint Stands Up to Furniture Left Outdoors?

Originally domesticated from the Asian carp in China over 1,000 years ago, goldfish vary somewhat in coloration and a fair amount in size depending on the species – some may only grow to a couple inches long by adulthood, while other species can grow up to a foot. This means you can easily choose whichever species best suits the size of your pond. They’re generally pretty amiable, getting along with just about anything in the pond, but that doesn’t mean everything will get along with them – the smaller varieties are prone to being eaten by some fish, such as golden orfes (if the goldfish are a couple inches or less in size). Goldfish do best in a temperature range of 68 to 72 degrees Fahrenheit (20 to 22° C) and a pH range of 7.2 to 7.6.

While regular “feeder” goldfish (the variety covered above) tend to be energetic, fast, and enjoy swimming about, fancy goldfish are typically slow, and can’t really compete with other fish for food. For this reason, regular goldfish and fancy goldfish should not be kept together, nor should fancy goldfish be kept with really any fish variety that’s more rambunctious and eats the same food as fancy goldfish.

Fancies come in many varieties, and are often sought out for their varied, unique appearances that can really add a distinct, exotic flair to any pond. Most fancies do well with a temperature range of 68 to 74° F (20 to 23° C), though there are many different types that have slightly different requirements. Fantails (which have a forked caudal fin), for example, are healthiest in temps between 70 and 80° F (21 and 26° C), while lionheads are best adapted to temperatures as low as 65° F (18° C). In addition, they each have different temperaments, so further research will be needed before you choose a variety. Most can be kept in outdoor ponds so long as their temperature and pH requirements are met, but may need to be brought indoors for winter if ambient air and water temperatures drop too low.

One of the most popular pond fish species, and understandably so, koi are typically a maximum of a foot to three feet in size depending on the exact variety and have a stunning amount diversity in their coloration and patterning. There are over 100 different recognized koi subspecies within 13 official classes, meaning there’s a koi out there for just about anyone. They’re fairly tolerant of temperature shifts so long as they don’t happen too quickly, as with any fish this can cause stress, shock, or even death. A water temperature between 59-77° F (15 to 25° C) – which makes them pretty well suited to life in outdoor ponds – and a pH range of 7.5 to 8 works best to keep them strong and healthy. You’ll need to have a larger pond, at least a meter deep, if you plan on having any of these fish in your pond.

Orfes, also known as ides or golden orfes, typically grow around a foot to a foot and a half in length in ponds (they need to be at least 1,000 gallons and a meter or more in depth), though in larger ponds and lakes with plenty of food availability they can grow close to three feet. Golden orfes are extremely sensitive to water quality issues; in fact, many areas use the “golden orfe toxicity test” to determine water quality. If it’s not good enough for an orfe, the water is deemed unhealthy and in need of treatment. In terms of temperature, orfes are extremely hardy, making them ideal for outdoor ponds – they can tolerate water temperatures as low as freezing or as high as 90° F (32° C), but do best between 50 and 77° F (10 to 25° C), with a pH on the more alkaline side, between 7 and 8.

One of the most important things to keep in mind with orfes is that they’re exceptionally active. This makes them prone to oxygen deprivation, so you’ll need to make sure oxygen levels are high in your pond (a minimum of 7-8 ppm). It also means that they’re prone to jumping out of ponds, so having boundaries in place to prevent this is important – particularly since in many areas they’re considered an invasive species and should never be let out of captivity.

To being, pond sturgeons are large – even the smallest variety, the sterlet sturgeon, grows to a meter, while the largest, the beluga sturgeon, can grow up to 10 meters in length and several thousand pounds in weight. Do not keep a sturgeon if you don’t a have a large pond or a lake. Sturgeons began to evolve about 250 million years ago, and as such are incredibly resilient (after all, they’re living dinosaurs!). While their temperature range depends on the exact species, generally so long as you keep the temperature above freezing and below 70° F (22° C), they should do fine (but of course do further research on the requirements of the particular sturgeon species you’d like!). They prefer darkness, as in the wild they tend to stay toward the bottom of water bodies, and as such they’ll need plenty of hiding places to protect themselves from the brightness and excess warmth of the sun. They also require a high quality sturgeon feed with upwards of 40% crude protein by weight for the best possible growth and health.

Plecos, which are exceptional algae-eaters that are easygoing and peaceful fish, getting along well with other fish species, are warm-water fish. As such, they need water temperatures that range from 72 to 86° F (22 to 30° C). Common plecos can be 1 to 2 feet long, while bristlenose plecos are only about 4 inches, so pond size requirements depends on the species that you choose. They do well in outdoor ponds, with one exception – they’re originally from South America, so if your water temperature drops below 50° F for more than a day or two, they’ll need to be brought indoors or they will likely die.

Siamese algae eaters are, as their name implies, excellent at consuming algae (which makes them particularly desirable to many pond hobbyists). They’re also pretty lively, and as such shouldn’t be placed with more docile fish species (such as fancy goldfish), as they may stress them out with their spirited nature. They typically grow up to 6 inches in length, and do best in waters that are 70 to 79° F (21 to 26° C), needing to be brought indoors if temperatures drop much below this for extended periods of time, such as during winter.

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8) Weather Loach (Misgurnus anguillicaudatus)

Photo by OpenCage available under a Creative Commons’s Attribution-ShareAlike 2.5 license.

Weather loaches, also known as pond loaches, are quite tolerant of temperature shifts, able to withstand water temperatures anywhere from 40 to 77° F (4.5-25° C), meaning that they can generally stay in outdoor ponds even during the winter without any issues. You’ll want to get more than one of them, as they’re fairly social and enjoy staying in small groups with their own kind. In addition, they grow up to a foot and aren’t picky eaters, consuming algae, insects, vegetables, and food pellets without complaint.

Though often kept in aquariums, mollies and guppies can both do well in outdoor ponds. Both species will likely need to be brought indoors for winter, as mollies need waters above 75°F and guppies need waters above 50° F. They’re both easy and straightforward to take care of, though they breed quickly – you’ll likely need to catch some of them every so often and sell them to a local pet store (never release them into the wild!). They could also be used as a food source if you have a separate pond for turtles and frogs and the like.

10) Red Shiners (Cyprinella lutrensis)

Photo by Zach Alley available under a Creative Commons’s Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0) license.

Red shiners are a North American small freshwater fish with silver bodies (sometimes vibrant blue) and red-orange fins. They’re pretty small (about 3 inches in length), and are a cold water fish, preferring temperatures between 59 and 77° F (15-25° C). However, since they are often found in mountainous regions, they are able to withstand extreme temperatures (as low as -21° C), though this is of course not at all advised and they will need to be brought indoors for the winter if waters drop below their approximate healthy minimum of 59° F.

They’re a generalist species, well-suited to living just about anywhere, from cold mountain rivers to southern hot springs. In addition, in many areas they are considered invasive, both in portions of the U.S. and the U.K., so never release them into the wild or use them as bait for fishing in natural areas. Because of their rapid reproduction, they quickly become a problem species in the wild and cause all sorts of ecological damage.

11)  High-Fin Banded Shark (Myxocyprinus asiaticus)

Photo by OpenCage available under a Creative Commons’s Attribution-ShareAlike 2.5 license.

Also known as the batfish due to its dark, almost bat-like appearance, the Chinese high fin banded shark is a suckering algae eater. They’re very peaceful and easygoing, compatible with just about any other fish, including koi, goldfish, guppies, and plecos. They are happiest when living in small schools of 3 or more of their own, but will do alright on their own as well, and need cool waters (with plenty of hiding places) between 55-75° F (13-24° C). This means that they can stay in outdoor ponds even during the winter, so long as you keep your water heated above this minimum range. Their patterning is quite striking, and though they can grow up to 4 feet in length, it takes them quite a few years to reach this point since they primarily feed on algae.

12) Pumpkinseed Fish (Lepomis gibbosus)

Photo by Cephas available under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

Pumpkinseed fish, a type of sunfish, are remarkable looking fish with bright coloration and patterning that are native to portions of North America. It’s an invasive species throughout the majority of Europe, so never release it into the wild if you live there. Their size varies from 3 to 8 inches in length, and are very active, preferring to live in small schools so if you want one, you’ll need to get a few to ensure their happiness. They’re tolerant of a range of conditions (with the exception of overall water quality, as is the case with most pond fish), but ideal water temperature for them is between 69 and 75° F (21 to 24° C), with an alkaline pH between 7 and 7.5. They work well in both large and small ponds, and are capable of overwinter so long as you keep your pond heated.

Source: https://livingcorner.com.au Category: Outdoor

source https://livingcorner.com.au/best-types-of-pond-fish-for-outdoor-ponds-big-small-fish/

[multipleservicelisting]

Biden Picks Dr. Nunez-Smith to Lead Health Equity Task Force

Growing up in the United States Virgin Islands, Dr. Marcella Nunez-Smith saw firsthand what can happen in a community with limited access to health care. Her father, Moleto “Bishop” Smith Sr., was only in his 40s when he suffered a debilitating stroke that left him partly paralyzed and with slurred speech.

The cause was high blood pressure, which could have been treated but had never been diagnosed. Without prompt access to advanced treatments, “the stroke was allowed to run its course,” Dr. Nunez-Smith, 45, recalled in a recent interview. Her father never fully recovered.

“He was a champion and a fighter,” she said. “But my memories are of a father who had to live life with this daily reminder of how we had failed in terms of our health care. I don’t want another little girl out there to have her father suffer a stroke that is debilitating and life-altering in that way.”

Now, tapped by President-elect Joseph R. Biden Jr. to lead a new federal task force, Dr. Nunez-Smith, an associate professor of internal medicine, public health and management at Yale University, will address a terrible reality of American medicine: persistent racial and ethnic disparities in access and care, the sort that contributed to her father’s disability.

Dr. Nunez-Smith has an expansive vision for the job, with plans to target medical resources and relief funds to vulnerable communities but also to tackle the underlying social and economic inequalities that put them at risk.

Her goals are ambitious, experts noted.

“For so long, we’ve been setting our sights on the more achievable goals and attempted to say, ‘We probably can’t have totally equitable care, so let’s at least make sure minority patients get insurance, or at least make sure there’s a health clinic in their community,’” said Dr. Utibe R. Essien, an assistant professor of medicine at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine who studies racial disparities in cardiovascular disease.

“This is a great opportunity to stretch and reach for what’s been imagined for decades, if not centuries,” he said.

Racial health disparities represent a vast, structural challenge in this country, made all the more stark by the raging pandemic. Black, Latino and Native Americans are infected with the coronavirus and hospitalized with Covid-19 at higher rates than white Americans, and they have died of the illness at nearly three times the rate, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

“Making sure communities hardest hit by the pandemic have access to safe, effective vaccines remains a priority,” Dr. Nunez-Smith said. But “what’s needed to ensure equity in the recovery is not limited to health and health care. We have to have conversations about housing stability and food security and educational equity, and pathways to economic opportunities and promise.”

Many factors have contributed to higher rates of infection and severe disease in minority communities. Black, Latino and Native Americans are more likely to live in crowded households than white people, and less likely to be able to work from home. Minority Americans have higher rates of underlying health problems that increase their risk for severe Covid-19, and they often have limited access to medical care. Asian-Americans have been infected at a lower rate than white Americans, yet have had a slightly higher rate of both hospitalizations and deaths.

While almost every American now knows someone who has been affected by Covid-19, in communities of color at least one third of people have lost someone close to them. “Think about the individual toll that takes,” Dr. Nunez-Smith said. “These are people’s parents, friends and loved ones. We cannot overstate the disproportionate impact.”

Dr. Nunez-Smith currently serves as one of three co-chairs on an advisory board advising the Biden transition team on management of the pandemic. Colleagues describe her as a brilliant scientist with a gift for building consensus, a sharp contrast to the politically driven administration officials who guided the response during the Trump era.

“She is a national gem,” said Dr. Harlan Krumholz, a professor of medicine at Yale School of Medicine. “This is a person who spends her days thinking about how we can make health care more equitable, and what interventions can address these disparities.”

At Yale, Dr. Nunez-Smith wears many hats — practicing internist, scientist, teacher, mentor and the director of several research centers. She directs Yale’s Equity Research and Innovation Center, which she founded, as well as a research collaborative funded by the National Institutes of Health to study chronic disease in Puerto Rico, Trinidad and Tobago, Barbados, and the United States Virgin Islands.

Covid-19 Vaccines ›

Answers to Your Vaccine Questions

If I live in the U.S., when can I get the vaccine?

While the exact order of vaccine recipients may vary by state, most will likely put medical workers and residents of long-term care facilities first. If you want to understand how this decision is getting made, this article will help.

When can I return to normal life after being vaccinated?

Life will return to normal only when society as a whole gains enough protection against the coronavirus. Once countries authorize a vaccine, they’ll only be able to vaccinate a few percent of their citizens at most in the first couple months. The unvaccinated majority will still remain vulnerable to getting infected. A growing number of coronavirus vaccines are showing robust protection against becoming sick. But it’s also possible for people to spread the virus without even knowing they’re infected because they experience only mild symptoms or none at all. Scientists don’t yet know if the vaccines also block the transmission of the coronavirus. So for the time being, even vaccinated people will need to wear masks, avoid indoor crowds, and so on. Once enough people get vaccinated, it will become very difficult for the coronavirus to find vulnerable people to infect. Depending on how quickly we as a society achieve that goal, life might start approaching something like normal by the fall 2021.

If I’ve been vaccinated, do I still need to wear a mask?

Yes, but not forever. The two vaccines that will potentially get authorized this month clearly protect people from getting sick with Covid-19. But the clinical trials that delivered these results were not designed to determine whether vaccinated people could still spread the coronavirus without developing symptoms. That remains a possibility. We know that people who are naturally infected by the coronavirus can spread it while they’re not experiencing any cough or other symptoms. Researchers will be intensely studying this question as the vaccines roll out. In the meantime, even vaccinated people will need to think of themselves as possible spreaders.

Will it hurt? What are the side effects?

The Pfizer and BioNTech vaccine is delivered as a shot in the arm, like other typical vaccines. The injection won’t be any different from ones you’ve gotten before. Tens of thousands of people have already received the vaccines, and none of them have reported any serious health problems. But some of them have felt short-lived discomfort, including aches and flu-like symptoms that typically last a day. It’s possible that people may need to plan to take a day off work or school after the second shot. While these experiences aren’t pleasant, they are a good sign: they are the result of your own immune system encountering the vaccine and mounting a potent response that will provide long-lasting immunity.

Will mRNA vaccines change my genes?

No. The vaccines from Moderna and Pfizer use a genetic molecule to prime the immune system. That molecule, known as mRNA, is eventually destroyed by the body. The mRNA is packaged in an oily bubble that can fuse to a cell, allowing the molecule to slip in. The cell uses the mRNA to make proteins from the coronavirus, which can stimulate the immune system. At any moment, each of our cells may contain hundreds of thousands of mRNA molecules, which they produce in order to make proteins of their own. Once those proteins are made, our cells then shred the mRNA with special enzymes. The mRNA molecules our cells make can only survive a matter of minutes. The mRNA in vaccines is engineered to withstand the cell’s enzymes a bit longer, so that the cells can make extra virus proteins and prompt a stronger immune response. But the mRNA can only last for a few days at most before they are destroyed.

But she also is involved in community organizations like the Community Foundation for Greater New Haven and Connecticut Voices for Children. “She’s not sitting in her ivory tower,” said Christina Ciociola, senior vice president for grant-making and strategy at the foundation.

“She is out on the front lines,” Ms. Ciociola said. “She sees patients, and she’s seen friends and colleagues suffer with this illness. She’s lost people to the pandemic.”

Dr. Nunez-Smith’s early interest in medicine was encouraged by her mother, a retired nursing professor, who instilled her commitment to community or, as she puts it, “the village.” Her grandmother played a pivotal role in her life, as did her godfather, a surgeon who still practices in St. Thomas.

Her mother filled the home with medical books. “She said I could read anything I could reach,” Dr. Nunez-Smith recalled. “I started early on learning medicine and nursing texts, and became fascinated with the human body and biology.”

Over time, she came to understand the importance of health policy and its repercussions in places like the U.S. territories, where lower federal payments for services affect access to care and high quality medical care is limited. (A recent study she co-wrote found that older women in the U.S. territories with breast cancer waited longer for surgery and radiation, and were less likely to get state-of-the-art care, than their counterparts in other regions of the United States.)

After graduating from high school at age 16, Dr. Nunez-Smith attended Swarthmore College in Pennsylvania, majoring in biological anthropology and psychology, and went on to earn a medical degree at Jefferson Medical College, now called the Sidney Kimmel Medical College.

She completed a residency and internship at Harvard’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital, and then a fellowship at the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation Clinical Scholars Program, where she also received a master’s degree in health sciences.

Some of her research has been informed by her own experiences as a Black female physician, she said. She still encounters hospital patients who assume she has come into the room to collect their meal tray or empty their trash, even though she introduces herself as a doctor and has a stethoscope hanging around her neck.

In studies of attitudes toward the health care system among Black patients, she has found that distrust is rampant. A survey of 604 Black Americans, carried out in May jointly by Dr. Nunez-Smith’s Equity and Research Innovation Center and the N.A.A.C.P., found that more than half believed Black people were less likely than white people to get access to coronavirus tests when testing was scarce, and that they were less likely to be admitted to the hospital when needed. More than half thought that hospitalized Black patients were less likely to “have everything done to save their lives.”

The survey also found that over one-third of Black respondents had lost a job or seen their hours reduced. Nearly one-third said they did not have enough money to buy groceries and had trouble paying rent. Economic pressures keep them going to work even when they fall ill, Dr. Nunez-Smith said.

“People are very worried about surprise bills for seeking care, and this is very different from other countries, where cost is not a consideration,” she said. “How do we make sure there are positive incentives for coming in and getting tested and getting care?”

All of these factors must shape the response to the pandemic, she said. Testing sites must be located in or near low-income communities, for example — they cannot be only drive-through sites used by people who have cars.

Hotel rooms should be provided to people who don’t have space at home to quarantine or isolate after an exposure or positive test. Workplaces must take the steps necessary to keep essential workers safe.

“One size won’t fit everyone — you can’t just say, ‘Everybody stay home and stay safe,’” she said. “There are people whose jobs require them to leave their homes, and if we don’t have a message to them, that’s our failure.”

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Those hesitant to take a Covid vaccine must be reassured that the vaccines are safe and effective — and that they won’t get a surprise bill later. They need to be told in advance about the predictable side effects.

Scientists who study health equity acknowledged the task force’s goals will be difficult to accomplish, but welcomed the incoming administration’s ambitious focus.

“Yes, it will be hard and we will need to take iterative steps,” said Dr. Clyde W. Yancy, chief of cardiology at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. “But begin is exactly what we should do, and considering the link between poor health, poor education, poor housing and poverty, a case can be made to target economic development in the most vulnerable communities as an important first step.”

Like many Americans, Dr. Nunez-Smith is juggling work and community responsibilities while raising school-aged children amid a pandemic. She knows the pressures are bound to increase as she takes up difficult new responsibilities.

“Everyone needs a village,” she said. “I feel grateful to have a great supportive spouse, family members. I had a friend drop off several meals yesterday, and someone else is going shopping for us. It’s our village we’re trying to keep safe.”

from Multiple Service Listing https://ift.tt/35FNMFD

[smellslikefeathers]

Who is the Mystery Man?: Theories and Speculation

Sans and Papyrus are rather mysterious characters. That’s a huge part of their appeal, and why they’re so damned popular in the Undertale fandom, Sans in particular. But even more mysterious than either of them is Dr. W.D. Gaster, the former royal scientist.

But just who or what is Gaster? Most people seem to agree that this guy is Gaster:

This sprite’s file name is “spr_mysteryman_0″ in Undertale’s game files. He’s not given a specific name, so we don’t really know if he’s Gaster or not.

But supposing he was? Or, at the very least, he was a part of Gaster?

One of the gray Gaster followers you meet as a “Fun” event in Undertale informs you that when Gaster “vanished”, he was “shattered across time and space”. That same follower claims to be holding a piece of Gaster before disappearing himself into thin air.

Let us consider that we encounter different random events in the game according to your save file’s “fun” value, which is generated with each new game or reset. This includes every event related to Gaster, like the followers and Mystery Man’s door. You can encounter more than one random event per save file. Here at this link is a chart of “fun” value events by maxdefolsch from imgur. Three of the values are of the Gaster followers. One is for the sound test room, which has Gaster’s Theme. Another is Mystery Man’s hallway, with a very tiny chance of seeing his door and being able to enter his room. Values 91 through 100 allow you to meet Goner Kid, which arguably is related to Gaster based on their Follower-esque colors and the conversation you have with them.

Oh, and of course, there is the “Wrong Number Song”, where the caller asks for someone whose name starts with “G”. Sure, they could be asking for Grillby, or Gerson, or perhaps someone else... but why would they try and hide the name of whom they’re looking for unless it’s taboo?

After all... it’s rude to talk about someone who’s listening, according to one of the followers, and to Sans on the official Undertale blog. And you wouldn’t want to disappear because of it, like that one follower did.

My point is, Gaster’s presence is in 53 different “fun” values out of a possible 100. If we regard each “fun” value as a separate timeline, then Gaster’s existence is horribly split apart across 53 different timelines. If we DON’T count Goner Kid, and they’re a separate incident from Gaster entirely, that’s still 43 timelines left over.

Mystery Man is a tiny piece of Gaster, one who barely exists at all. Hell, you can even walk through him when you enter his room, as he possesses no collision physics. He only disappears into thin air when you try to interact with him, with this expression on his face:

(By the way, this is “spr_mysteryman_1″ in the game’s files.)

But, you’re probably wondering... if Mystery Man is only a part of Gaster, what part is he? My theory about this connects way back to Toby Fox’s other game of note, his Earthbound Halloween Hack. Yeah, we’re going there.

It’s no secret that Undertale was heavily inspired by Earthbound. Toby is a huge fan of the game, and he’d actually made multiple hacks of the game under the alias “Radiation”. His Halloween Hack, however, is his most famous one, and as MatPat from Game Theory pointed out (whether you love him or hate him), it’s easy to see that Toby took quite a few ideas from the Halloween Hack and put it into Undertale.

Allow me to name some examples (and don’t worry, there IS a point to this):

Behold, an Amalgamate.

A predecessor to Flowey in Dr. Andonuts’ Magicant.

Time travel, complete with time machine (which is what many speculate to be in Sans’ workshop).

And of course:

A mad scientist resembling Uboa from Yume Nikki, a.k.a. this weird thing:

And by the way, that last screenshot? That takes place before you fight Dr. Andonuts. But you don’t fight the swearing and angry Andonuts first, remember? No, what you fight is this:

You fight The Id. What is The Id? According to Wikipedia, a person’s id is one of the three parts of Sigmund Freud’s model of the human psyche. It is the part of the human mind that is “the source of our bodily needs, wants, desires, and impulses, particularly our sexual and aggressive drives”. The id is the part of the human mind that says “I WANT”, and if left unchecked will do absolutely anything to get it, even if it’s unrealistic, destructive, or immoral. If it means getting what it wants, it will destroy everything around it. This is not because the id is evil, but because it is our most primal self. Dr. Andonuts sees himself as a monster, and his personal desires as monstrous, hence his most primal self looking the way it does.

How does this tie to Gaster, though? Well... let’s have a look at this scene from the Genocide boss fight against Sans in Undertale:

Sans has dealt with someone in the past who has allowed their id to consume them and become a destructive force. Sans knows the player will destroy the timeline if he doesn’t stop them, and he knows this because he’s dealt with this exact same situation before. The timeline Sans was originally from was destroyed by this person. This person is none other than...

Our mystery man. The Id of Dr. W.D. Gaster.

But remember how I said that there were THREE parts to Sigmund Freud’s model of the human psyche? Let’s examine the other two parts for a moment:

The Ego is the mediator between The Id and reality, seeking to find ways to please the id and grant it its desires in a realistic, organized manner. The ego utilizes “judgment, tolerance, reality testing, control, planning, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory” to make sense of the person’s thoughts and the world around them. If the id was a car engine, the ego would be the driver behind the wheel.

The Super-Ego is the third part of Freud’s model, and is a direct contradiction to the id. It represents a person’s conscience, borne from societal expectations, spiritual teachings, “cultural regulations”, and morals taught to the person as they were growing up.  The super-ego strives for perfection, and shames the id for their desires. The ego uses the super-ego as a guideline to try and keep the id in check, and to set personal standards for the person to live up to.

Now, with these in mind, let’s have a look at Sans and Papyrus, who are clearly tied to Gaster by the fact they likely both own Gaster Blasters:

Now... remember how much Sans values integrity? Integrity is defined as “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness”. This alone seems to make Sans a very Super-Ego sort of guy. Unfortunately, Sans isn’t pure Super-Ego; he gives into his desires of laziness, eating junk food, and basically being a slob. It’s up to Papyrus to snap him out of those things and keep him in check. In fact... doesn’t Papyrus seem to be a far more moral person than Sans? Hell, he even refuses to kill the human when its clear they’re genocidal.

Besides, let us also remember that Papyrus uses Blue magic just like Sans, which could mean he values integrity just as much as his brother.

But what about Ego? Papyrus, for having a very passionate and driven personality, is very much Ego in the Freudian sense. He is far more organized than Sans is. Though he does get impatient, he’s a lot more tolerant than, say, Undyne. He calculates battle strategies and builds puzzles, making use of planning, defense, synthesis of information, and intellectual functioning. As for memory, there are many clues throughout Undertale that Papyrus remembers every single reset. He knew about Mettaton having “bishonen eyes” before Mettaton EX was revealed to the public. He predicted Asgore cutting a hedge in the shape of his smile. He makes a remark about the True Pacifist ending being “the worst possible ending” with a smile on his face, as if he knew there were other endings and knew they’d reached the best one. You could argue that Papyrus knows about some of this stuff through Flowey’s “predictions”, but Flowey himself has stated that Papyrus has never failed to surprise him somehow, so who knows?

So what does this all mean? Well... if I’m correct, Papyrus is physically all that is left of W.D. Gaster. Yup, you heard me. Papyrus is Gaster’s Ego and Super-Ego combined!

But wait, you ask, how on earth is that possible!?

Here’s where things get speculative: you know the DT extractor from the True Lab? The one Alphys built using blueprints, possibly from Sans’ workshop?

Take a look at that and tell me that doesn’t look like a Gaster Blaster. In other words, something Dr. Gaster would have built. I believe that, in the original timeline (the one that was destroyed), Gaster DID build the DT extractor, and was extracting human determination to experiment with.

We all know monsters melt when they have too much determination in their bodies, right? And yet, we know for a fact there is one monster who can alter reality to their whim: Sans, who can teleport at will.

It is with this in mind that it is entirely possible that Sans - who was Gaster’s lab assistant - was injected with just enough Determination to manipulate space-time so he could teleport short distances. And perhaps Gaster gave himself determination to grant himself power as well, and it worked. But as neat as the party tricks he and Sans could pull were, they weren’t enough to get past the Barrier.

How could they do that without melting? In your typical RPG, a skeleton monster is a member of the undead, once human but given life once more through the power of magic. What if skeleton monsters in Undertale can withstand more determination than most monsters because they used to be human? Wouldn’t they have more physical mass than most monsters because they were part of a human body?

After their initial failure, Gaster had reached the same conclusion as Alphys would: using monster soul power was the only way to break the Barrier. Perhaps, now that he and Sans had powerful determination, maybe their own souls would be strong enough to help?

Maybe Gaster began developing technology that could extract souls and contain them, provided the body they came from had enough determination. Gaster would inject himself with increasing amounts of determination until finally, he deemed himself able to use the soul extractor on himself. There would be just one problem: just as Alphys states in the game, it would require a great amount of power to extract a soul from a monster. Gaster would have a solution, however: Chara’s soul. Though he would dare not kill King Asgore’s child and harvest their soul, he could easily employ Chara to be a living battery for his soul removal technology. And that just might be what he did.

So, Gaster uses the soul removal tech on himself with Chara’s help. Somehow, he successfully removes his own soul from his body, but because he was so full of human determination, he did not die. He could never die, now reduced to a pile of undying goop.

However, something peculiar happened with his soul. Rather than crumble to dust, it immediately began to re-form into a new monster. a little baby skeleton. This was Papyrus. Canonly, a monster’s soul is what makes up their entire body, hence why they immediately crumble to dust when they die. And according to my theory/speculations/whatever, this is why Papyrus was born from Gaster’s soul.

So, Gaster now lacked a soul, AND his experiment was a colossal failure. His kindness, compassion, and morals now existed in a separate monster. He was now pure id without an ego or super-ego. He would pretty much go down the same path as Flowey, and end up destroying his and Sans’ timeline.

Woo... that took LITERAL HOURS to write. But these are just my own thoughts. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll talk a bit more about Papyrus.

[worldbuildingworkshop]

Worldbuilding Tutorial #8: Example World A

Intro This will cover designing cultures from at least one group of all three species in this world: fey, humans, and elves. Because we’re starting to go into more detail I’m having to narrow the focus; just like we went from one world to an entire continent, I’m now going from one continent to one region within that continent. It will be the southern third, as seen below.

Due to space I can only go into brief detail with each of these. In further tutorials I will narrows the focus even more to just a couple; but it’s important to flesh all of these out with the basics so that there’s a sense of the context that the detail of individual cultures can exist in.

Region #1: Fey

The northern half of the moors here are home to a type of fey that would be classified as “unseelie” fey. Culturally, fey are very individual; day-to-day life is not governed by laws, but rather the feelings and whims of individual fey. “Unseelie” fey tend to manifest this in a way that emphasizes competition, and competition that tends to turn nasty at that: tricks, pranks, sabotage, and bloodshed, all for the cause of outcompeting your opponents and leaving them scrambling in the dust. For these fey, the wiliest ones live the longest, and thus as a whole being cunning and devious is valued - and coveted - highly. Long-lasting bonds are more often made out of jealousy or mutual hatred than out of friendship, and enemies are generally much easier to come by than friends amongst the unseelie. As a whole they also have a long-standing hatred of the seelie fey to the south, and have been known to temporarily join forces to pull some kind of ill-willed “prank” on their neighbors.

Due to the nature of the moors upon which they live, these fey tend to favor misdirection and hidden things over brute force. The moors are full of plants that cause visions, sleep, and loss of sense of time; gates and thresholds that lead to feyspaces; and a lot of fossils, which among other things are going to give off a lot of memories. It’s a much better use of magic to be clever with these elements and use them to turn your opponents upside-down than to blast them to smithereens - and a use that requires more cunning - so that is what the unseelie here do. They hoard stones from which to “feed” off of the magic they give, and around these hoards craft a safe place they can also use to sleep (often filled with traps for possible invaders); the stones they generally prefer are fossils, because they feed on the memories left there too.

Region #2: Fey

The southern half of the moors are populated with a kind of fey classified as “seelie”. Like the unseelie fey (and indeed all fey), seelie fey are highly individual and don’t live their day-to-day life following particular laws or codes - just whim. Unlike unseelie fey they don’t have a strident sense of competition and indeed much more inclined to benevolence; they see themselves as caretakers of the world and its creatures. This is not to say that they have no conflicts - quite the opposite, as any two entities with good intentions can still get in one anothers’ way. There are an assortment of rivalries that have developed over time, but they tend to be tamer and centered around pranks with little intent of causing actual lasting damage or harm. They certainly do cooperate as well; some have hidey-holes like the unseelie in the northern marsh (but they aren’t as heavily trapped), but others will line communal areas with rocks to serve as a place to rest and rejuvenate for any who pass through. These areas are the inspiration for the stone labyrinths and circles that are built by non-fey (more on that later).

Fey in this region prefer to feed off of more normal gemstones rather than fossils - they find that the memories contained in the fossils tend to impact them in unpleasant ways and come with a lot of “baggage” that other stones don’t have. Their interaction with the landscape is also different, though just like the unseelie they also live on the misty moors; rather than using it primarily as a tool to undermine others, they simply use it as a way to control their own space. If there’s something they don’t want to interact with, they simply slip away. If there’s something they want to watch without being seeing, they use the mists to do so. Sometimes they will harvest some of the herbs there to exchange with humans for unusual gemstones; sometimes they will allow humans to do the harvesting themselves, if they have a particular tolerance or like of a particular person. 

Region #3: Humans

The humans who live in this region are generally farmers and herders. They tend towards hardy stock in both cases - goats and sheep for livestock, and hardy root vegetables and grains. Oxen mostly exist as draft animals, and keeping horses or poultry is unheard-of. Most of the rhythms of the year are ones determined by the crops and harvest, as well as the harsh winter storms and long days and nights near the solstices. There is very little time for leisure; what time isn’t spent planting, harvesting, and preserving is spent repairing tools and building houses or sheds or fences (if you are a man), or spinning yarn and making clothing (if you are a woman). Leisure tends to look like evening gatherings in a communal barn with plenty of ale and a big fire.

The community structure generally looks like lots of independent villages. There are no large cities, nor any capitals; individual villages may be friendly with each other, but rarely do they share any kind of official alliance or common governance. Generally there is a particular man with the community’s respect who becomes head of the village; if he is suddenly incapacitated, his wife is allowed to take over for him until a suitable replacement is found. Some villages also deviate from this structure - this is just the most common format. 

Region #4: Humans

Crops do not grow particularly well in this region, especially the southern and coastal areas. Instead, this region is much more reliant on fishing and hunting in the ocean for resources. Some livestock - mostly heavier yak-like creatures that can withstand the cold - are kept as well as a supply of hide, milk, and meat. The fluctuation of day and night is even more stark here than in Region 3, and the weather harsher; some times of year are too stormy to be outside, especially in a fishing canoe, and people mostly keep to themselves inside. These elements are somewhat less severe on the eastern side of the region, where there is instead a greater reliance on gathering as well as woodcutting (most of which is used as fuel, for boats, or else traded north in exchange for food). 

As with Region 3, the community structure is as a number of small, unaffiliated villages without any kind of overhead government. Individual villages themselves are generally ruled by a small council of the village’s eldest men. Division of labor tends to fall in favor of men doing the fishing-related tasks and women doing the herding-related tasks, with both helping to strip carcasses and preserve the meat and other resources. The elder women are in charge of care taking of children and domestic activities. Leisure is taken during longer periods of heavy storms, mostly in the form of crafting competitions or storytelling.

Region #5: Fey

Even though the Feywood is several distinct pieces environmentally speaking, it’s one single region culturally speaking. Here the fey aren’t divided into seelie/unseelie; they are neither particularly benevolent nor terribly malicious - just prone to mischief, especially on wanderers-in to their woods but on one another. They also take great delight in taking the forms of animals (if they are able to do such things) and confusing the animals as well. The Feywood is also distinct in that space and time do not always work in a linear or steady fashion, and the wood is constantly phasing in or out of the fey realm to some degree. This is no issue for the fey, for whom the woods and the realm are sometimes one and the same, but poses problems for other beings. 

These fey are more prone to the antics of classic woods fey - which is to say, lots of parties and lots of indulging in various pleasures. These are the kind of fey who will seduce you one way or another and keep you there for a hundred years while you don’t age a day. They are very individual as with all other fey, and hold no particular cultural roles depending on age and sex and so on - except for the queen and king and their ladies and lords. These are not titles based on sex - you could have a male queen or a third/other gendered king - but more like roles that are filled. They have more to do with dealing with mortals than they have to do with internal fey politicking - sort of more like diplomats. Respected, but not bound to by the other fey of the feywood.

Region #6: Elves

The elves of this region are outcast from all the other regions, and very closed-off in turn. Trespassing humans are often killed; trespassing fey are usually not greeted quite as harshly, but usually there are an assortment of wards erected to keep them out in the first place. The landscape is very cold and very harsh; almost all food comes from hunting, especially larger mammals like walrus and whale, but also caribou and regular fish. Houses are usually half tunneled into the icy ground (using magic), and half built up from found stones or snow and ice. There is very little difference in gender role between men and women; usually it is only relevant in courtship, and even then only in the nuance of give-and-take. 

There is a hierarchy amongst the elves that is based primarily on age and secondarily on ability to perform - usually magical feats, but great hunters or fishers can also rise to high social standing. Magic is treated much like any other tool - useful, but potentially deadly when used wrong and to be treated with caution. Magical things and people who use them are often treated with a certain level of suspicion and never fully trusted by the rest of the community. 

------------

Those are the basics for the cultures in this region of the continent. It is unfortunately unlikely that I will flesh out other regions, because I want there to be as much context for explaining and describing as possible, which necessitates working on the same area the whole time. 

[concerthopperblog]

Brainquility 2020 Blew All Expectations Out of The Water!

Brainquility Music Festival held its third annual funk-filled weekend from February 6th-8th and this year’s event blew all expectations out of the water! Though the weekend kicked off with a rocky start due to the unpredictable force of mother nature, curators at Ontap Music were not letting a little rain get in the way of their funk parade. Curators expanded the festival to include some more vendors on site and a third full day of music, but mother nature had other plans regarding our third full day. Despite a torrential downpour, attendees were still able to enjoy the fully immersive experience provided by Brainquility throughout the rest of the weekend.

Thursday kicked off at 3:30 PM with Night Crawler on the Live Stage, but it wasn’t long before all the power in the park went out. The stage crews and curators worked in overdrive trying everything they could to get the power back on. The power finally came back - about an hour or so before the torrential downpour was scheduled to hit us. As the rain hammered down on us, curators worked swiftly to open us the Music Hall at Suwannee to welcome anyone who wished to brave the rain and make a run for it. Sidetrakd and Defunk took the stage inside the Music Hall to keep the party groovin’ through the rain. Around 11 or so, the wrath of the rain began to ease up and soon we were back to clear skies for the weekend. To celebrate the passing of the torrential downpour, the Floozies took the Live Stage a little later than expected and brought the face melting funk that all the attendees had been craving all day. Though the rain threw everyone for a loop and some artists had to cancel their appearances for the weekend, curators at Brainquility Music Festival worked in overdrive to reschedule the rest of the weekend and work some of the canceled Thursday artists into the schedule for Friday and Saturday. After Brainquility 2020, it is clear that a little rain will now stop the funk parade at Spirit of Suwannee Music Park.

Friday morning came with an abundance of sunshine and good vibes. With the sun peaking from behind the trees, the birds were chirping and the Spanish Moss was dancing in the gentle breeze. Some attendees made their way to yoga workshops while others went face-first into a hashbrown bowl and space juice by the Grilled Cheese Incident. Hi. We are “the others”. There’s nothing like starting your day off with a cup of Space Juice from the Grilled Cheese Incident. For more information on these delicious eats available at Brainquility 2020 - stay tuned to our Bars N’ Bites page for the full, in-depth review! The day officially kicked off with Custard Pie on the Live Stage, followed up shortly by Dunstan Wallace & Friends on the Sound Stage. Brainquility curators do a quite exceptional job at having the two stages have different genres available for attendees. So if a funky, live band jam on the Live Stage isn’t your thing then you can boogie over to the Sound Stage for some deep house, EDM, or techno vibes. As the day danced on, Sidetrakd took the Sound Stage around 5 PM and shortly after the Lazy Syrup Orchestra brought the funk to the Live Stage. Attendees began packing into the Live Stage area and finding those primo spots to hang their hammocks and relax as they prepared themselves for Marvel Years to take the stage next. Marvel Years has a very unique, electro-funk meets rock n’ roll vibe that gets you up and dancing at the strike of the first chord. Just as he’s cutting into some deep and funky grooves on the decks, he breaks out his guitar to add that perfect amount of melody to the mix. Since Maddy O’Neal was unable to perform on Thursday, due to the unfortunate circumstances with the weather, Marvel Years threw “Viral Love”, featuring Maddy O’Neal, into his set to show her some mad love. The rest of the night was a full send from Russ Liquid at 9:30 to Manic Focus at midnight. Russ Liquid’s mix of deep bass with his funky trumpet riffs is a unique, groovy sound that he has truly made all his own. Closing out the night with Manic Focus was definitely one of the more high-energy performances of the weekend. Manic Focus only had a live drummer on stage with him and he still brings the heat like most full live band productions. This funk filled night with Marvel Years, Russ Liquid, and Manic Focus was the picture perfect build up to Saturday as these artists would be going b2b Saturday night under the name Brainchildren. After Manic Focus closed out the night, there was a full night of secret sets and campground wandering to be had by all who could withstand the chilly air.

Saturday morning came and there was a somber sense of last day vibes sprawling throughout the park. Some attendees could be seen packing up their campsites getting ready to peel out directly after the final band and others could be seen splayed out in their hammocks wishing there was another day of dancing to be had. The day officially kicked off at 2:00 PM with Boots N’ Catz on the Sound Stage and Row Jomah on the Live Stage shortly after. The highlight performances from Saturday were definitely MZG, Kill Paris, Brainchildren, Sunsquabi, and Justin Martin. MZG brought the house down with their deep, dubstep vibes and over the top energy. Watching these two play off each other during the performance is a spectacle all its own. Following their set up with Kill Paris was a perfect decision from the curators of the event. The deep funky dubstep vibes continued as Kill Paris remixed “Gonna Make Me Loose My Mind” by DMX and had every person as the Live Stage showing off their best dance moves. After gettin’ down and dirty to some deep, heavy dubstep vibes, attendees slowed it down just a notch with the performance from Brainchildren. The collaboration between Marvel Years, Russ Liquid, and Manic Focus had some smoother, funkier vibes oozing out of the PK sound system at the Spirit of Suwannee Music Park amphitheater. This once in a life time collaboration between these three artists had all the attendees packing out the Live Stage to get a piece of this funky action. After this special collaboration between the Brainchildren, the night closed out with some Dirtybird action on the Sound Stage from Justin Martin and some electro-funk vibes from Sunsquabi on the Live Stage. Brainquility boasted a perfectly balanced line up where deep, heavy bass and electronic dance music meets at a cross road with some super groovy, rhythm-driven funk.

Brainquility Music Festival offers a fully immersive and interactive experience for all attendees to enjoy. From live painting their own creations to blowing glass on site, curators offer a wide variety of activities suitable for any age. Scattered throughout the park, attendees can find canvases by Dan Collins that depict various psychedelic patterns and pictures. These canvases are left with these simple, black-outlined psychedelic patterns so that attendees can stop and put their two cents in with some color! All throughout the weekend, attendees are invited to grab a marker and help bring these masterpieces to life. Brainquility also offers one of the few fully interactive merch experiences in the festival scene. Curators bring a full screen printing service on site that allows attendees to mix and match pre-set patterns and designs to craft their very own, unique t-shirt for the weekend. With a handful of designs to pick from and a variety of shirts, attendees have the opportunity to walk away with a one of a kind piece of Brainquility merch! If t-shirts aren’t your thing but you get down on some jewelry, Brainquility also offered a limited edition hat pin and the opportunity to blow your own glass pendant on site. Not many festival curators go the extra mile to make sure their attendees get hands on and have a creative spirit awakened within them. Brainquility is definitely setting the scene to be one of the top festivals at Spirit of Suwannee Music Park.

Brainquility Music Festival definitely went off with a bang this year! Though attendees were caught in a rainstorm on Thursday, a little rain won’t keep the brainiacs at bay. If anything, the extra time to take a nap on Thursday just fueled the brainiacs and sent their feet into dancing overdrive for the rest of the weekend. Brainquility Music Festival has grown exponentially since is first year in Safety Harbor, Florida. Curators at Ontap Music are happy to call Spirit of Suwannee Music Park their new home as it allows for more expansions to the festival layout and landscape. Though the third day succumbed to the wrath of mother nature in 2020, attendees are on the edge of their seats for the 2021 announcement. We hope to fully immerse ourselves in a full, three day Brainquility experience next year that is filled with more creativity, more funk, more handcrafted food..and did we say more funk? It is clear that curators at Brainquility Music Festival are just getting started and we are looking forward to seeing the festival grow over the next few years. Stay tuned to Brainquility’s Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter for more information regarding the 2021 return of the festival. Also, keep it locked here as we will update as soon as information unfolds. As always, stay hydrated, if you see something then say something, and we hope to see you at a festival this spring!

[dinakaplan]

What The $289 Million Verdict Against Monsanto Means To You

A California jury ordered Monsanto to pay a terminally ill groundskeeper $289 million. Learn why this Monsanto lawsuit matters to you and how you can take action to help create safer communities.

On August 10th, 2018, Dewayne Johnson, a 46-year-old man facing a terminal non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma diagnosis, won a massive victory in a landmark case.

Johnson had used Monsanto’s Roundup up to 30 times per year while working as a groundskeeper in a California school district. The California jury determined that the weed killer caused Mr. Johnson’s cancer and that the pesticide-maker failed to warn him of the health hazards from his exposure.

The jury ordered Monsanto (which merged with Bayer in June 2018 to create an enormous agrochemical and pharmaceutical company) to pay Mr. Johnson a total of $289 million.

Dewayne Johnson vs. Monsanto: Why Monsanto Lost

This case was particularly noteworthy because the judge allowed Johnson’s team to present scientific arguments about what caused his cancer, as well as claims that Monsanto suppressed evidence that showed the risks of its weed-killing products.

During the extensive trial, the plaintiff’s attorneys brought forward internal emails from Monsanto executives. The emails demonstrated how the corporation repeatedly ignored experts’ warnings, sought favorable scientific analyses, and helped “ghostwrite” research that encouraged continued usage.

The jury found Monsanto to be responsible for “negligent failure” and declared that the company knew or should have known that its product was “dangerous.”

What Happens Now That There’s a Verdict?

Monsanto, of course, disagreed with the ruling and plans to appeal. It will likely be years before a final settlement is reached.

And it seems unlikely that Dewayne Johnson will live long enough to receive any money because doctors have told him he only has months to live. However, the husband and father of three said he hopes his suffering will not be in vain. He also hopes labels will change so that, in the future, people like him won’t be left to risk their lives without a warning if they’re using a product that causes cancer in humans.

As Monsanto’s new owner, Bayer might be having some mixed feelings about its recent $66 billion purchase. The company, which plans to discontinue use of the Monsanto name, is not only acquiring all of Monsanto’s assets but also its liabilities. The day after the August 10th ruling, Bayer’s stock price dropped by 12%.

With the precedent of this court case, the burden is now on Monsanto / Bayer to prove that Roundup is safe.

If they fail to do so, subsequent courts will uphold the ruling, and Mr. Johnson’s case could be only the beginning.

In fact, there are now more than 8,000 lawsuits like Mr. Johnson’s that are currently moving through the courts.

Can the company successfully defend and appeal all of them? And will Mr. Johnson’s victory open the floodgates to even more cases?

Monsanto Defends the Safety of Its Products

Following the trial, Monsanto vice president Scott Partridge reaffirmed that there was no link between glyphosate (the main active ingredient in Roundup) and cancer.

He declared that the “verdict doesn’t change the four-plus decades of safe use and science behind the product.”

But the World Health Organization disagrees.

In 2015, the World Health Organization’s International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) ruled that glyphosate is “probably carcinogenic to humans.”

The Shocking Ways Monsanto Fought Back Against the IARC

Glyphosate’s maker, Monsanto, didn’t like the decision of the IARC and set out to undermine the WHO and its ruling.

As IARC explains and documents:

“Following the classification of glyphosate in March 2015 as probably carcinogenic to humans IARC has been the target of an unprecedented number of orchestrated actions by stakeholders seeking to undermine its credibility. In the interest of transparency, IARC has documented some of these instances, and our responses can be found on the Agency’s Governance website.”

Monsanto, it seems, has crossed major ethical and potentially even legal lines in order to keep its product’s reputation from being undermined.

Bloomberg reports that the company “was its own ghostwriter for some safety reviews,” and an EPA official reportedly helped Monsanto “kill” another agency’s cancer study.

An investigation in Le Monde details Monsanto’s effort “to destroy the United Nations’ cancer agency by any means possible” to save glyphosate.

Reporter, 2018 Food Revolution Summit speaker, and former Reuters senior correspondent, Carey Gillam writes:

“Monsanto and its chemical industry allies have spent decades actively working to confuse and deceive consumers, farmers, regulators, and lawmakers about the risks associated with glyphosate-based herbicides. As they’ve suppressed the risks, they’ve trumpeted the rewards and pushed use of this weed killer to historically high levels.

The evidence that has come to light from Monsanto’s own internal documents, combined with data and documents from regulatory agencies, could not be more clear: It is time for public officials across the globe to act to protect public health and not corporate profits.”

How Much Roundup Is Used on Our Food?

Monsanto has come up with (and Bayer is inheriting) a fairly ingenious business model.

The company genetically engineers seeds that are resistant to its famed herbicide, Roundup. This means farmers growing Roundup-resistant crops can spray their fields with this chemical, and the weeds will die — but the crops will not.

Before the invention of genetically engineered Roundup Ready seeds, no one ever consumed weed killer, because no one ever sprayed these toxic chemicals on food crops. To do so would have killed the plants.

But now, thanks to genetic engineering, Roundup is being sprayed directly on food crops destined for human consumption.

This method has created a historically unprecedented reality: The vast majority of us are now eating weed killer on a daily basis.

And the amounts are enormous. In 1987, the United States was using 11 million pounds of Roundup. Today, the United States applies nearly 300 million pounds of Roundup each year.

This chemical is also being sprayed on 89% of U.S. corn crops and 94% of soybeans.

Worldwide, there have been 9.4 million tons of Roundup used on fields growing our food. That’s more than two pounds for every single human on Earth!

On August 15th, Environmental Working Group released results of a report finding elevated levels of glyphosate in 31 out of 45 breakfast cereal samples tested. The contaminated samples included Cheerios, Quaker Oats, and other breakfast foods that could increase cancer risk for children.

Dr. Jennifer Lowry, head of the Council on Environmental Health for the American Academy of Pediatrics, said she was “shocked We don’t know a lot about the effects of glyphosate on children, and essentially we’re just throwing it at them.”

How To Avoid GMOs and Glyphosate in Your Food

Organically grown foods are, by definition, non-GMO and grown without the use of glyphosate. So if you want to avoid GMOs and glyphosate, choosing organic is more important than ever. (Find out more about the difference between non-GMO and organic food labels here.)

But not everyone can afford to go organic. If that’s the case for you, it may be comforting to know that most fruits and vegetable are still not being genetically engineered or sprayed with glyphosate. Also, it can help to know which non-organic foods are likely to contain them.

The major crops that are genetically modified are:

Corn, much of which is fed to livestock and used for ethanol for our cars but is also used in many refined foods

Soy, also often turned into animal feed, though much of it is processed and eaten by people in the form of refined foods

Sugar beets, which supply about half the sugar in the U.S., and almost all of which are genetically modified (though cane sugar is not genetically modified)

Canola, mostly used for canola oil

Alfalfa, used primarily as animal feed, and

Cotton, mostly used for clothing as well as for cottonseed oil

But keep in mind that corn and soy, in particular, are used as the raw ingredients for all sorts of food additives.

These include:

Aspartame, sodium ascorbate, and vitamin C,

Citric acid, sodium citrate, ethanol, and natural flavorings,

Artificial flavorings, high fructose corn syrup, and hydrolyzed vegetable protein,

Lactic acid, maltodextrin, monosodium glutamate, and

Sucralose, textured vegetable protein (also known as TVP), and xanthan gum.

If a product isn’t certified organic or certified non-GMO, and if it has more than a few ingredients, there’s a pretty good chance that it contains GMOs.

And now, some new GMO crops are beginning to be grown more widely, including Hawaiian papayas. Some Canadian farmed salmon is genetically engineered, though it only makes up a relatively small portion of the overall salmon for sale. And across North America, we have increasing amounts of genetically engineered zucchini, summer squash, apples, and potatoes coming on the market.

Most, but not all, GMO crops have been engineered to withstand herbicides. Some also produce their own insecticides in every cell of the plant, while a few GMO crops have other traits. For example, genetically engineered salmon grow much faster than normal salmon, thus saving farmers money (and potentially opening the floodgates to a host of unintended consequences).

And It’s Not Just GMOs You Need to Be Concerned About

Until recently, you could avoid eating Roundup and its primary active ingredient, glyphosate, by steering clear of GMOs. But now, the equation’s become more complicated.

It’s now become more common to use glyphosate as a desiccant. The herbicide is being sprayed on crops that are not genetically engineered in order to dry them out before harvest.

These crops include wheat (the primary culprit), as well as barley and oats. And the practice seems to be spreading now to include some legumes, sunflower seeds, and potatoes.

These foods could be “non-GMO” and still be sprayed with glyphosate. If you don’t want to eat glyphosate, then it’s best to choose organically grown versions of these crops.

How You Can Take Action to Help Create Safer Communities

If you are concerned about the spread of glyphosate into our food supply and our environment, now is the time to take action.

The truth is, it’s easier to change the world than you might think!

Here are seven steps you can take:

Help get Roundup and toxins out of your community. Parks, streets, sidewalks, parking lots, schools, daycare facilities, universities, sports fields, and playgrounds are being sprayed with Roundup in many communities. Mom’s Across America has launched a campaign with videos, training, petitions, and more. Find out more about the campaign and how you can help here. Beyond Pesticides also offers tools for change. See their resources here.

Use a template letter to reach out to your local council. Low Tox Life has a resource you can use to reach out to your local council about the safety of pesticides and herbicides used during maintenance and landscaping of local gardens, fields, parks, and bus stops. Get the template here.

Learn and share alternatives to glyphosate for landscaping. Check out this University of Maryland report on natural weed-killing alternatives.

Create safer lawns and landscapes. Beyond Pesticides provides resources for nontoxic lawns and landscapes. Get more info here.

Sign the petition to get U.S. schools to stop using Roundup. Organic Consumers Organization has launched a petition to tell the National School Boards Association to ban Roundup. Sign the petition here.

Take action if you believe you or your family have been harmed by Roundup. The law firm Marcus & Mack is helping people get their time in court. Find out more and ask for a free consultation here.

Get informed and spread the word! Knowledge is power, and knowledge turned into action can shift the course of history. For more knowledge and power, check out my forthcoming book, 31-Day Food Revolution, here.

It’s Time for a Change

The Dewayne Johnson vs. Monsanto lawsuit has ignited a firestorm of attention to the hazards of Roundup, and communities around the world are beginning to take action.

The State of California has already declared Roundup to be a chemical known to cause cancer and is fighting to mandate warning labels on all Roundup sold in the state. (Monsanto / Bayer is fighting back, and the case is still in the courts.) And now two California cities, Novato and Dewayne Johnson’s hometown of Benicia, are going Roundup-free.

Novato Mayor Josh Friday commented, “There’s a saying that you put your money behind your values and in our community, we value the environment, we value protecting our children.”

Monsanto / Bayer is a huge company. It controls 23% of the world’s seed supply, with deep pockets and enormous political influence. But the big cigarette companies were pretty powerful a couple generations ago, too. And then the truth got out, and in the last 50 years, cigarette consumption has fallen by more than 60%.

My prediction: The fall of glyphosate won’t take 50 years. Not even close.

But what happens might depend, in part, on you.

Now, tell us in the comments:

What’s your opinion about glyphosate? Do you use it? Have you found alternatives?

Are you going to take any action based on what you’ve learned?

What do you think about this Monsanto lawsuit and what it means for the future?

[Read More ...] https://foodrevolution.org/blog/monsanto-lawsuit-dewayne-johnson/

[multipleservicelisting]

Johnson & Johnson Expects Covid Vaccine Results Soon but Lags in Production

Johnson & Johnson expects to release critical results from its Covid-19 vaccine trial in as little as two weeks — a potential boon in the effort to protect Americans from the coronavirus — but most likely won’t be able to provide as many doses this spring as it promised the federal government because of unanticipated manufacturing delays.

If the vaccine can strongly protect people against Covid-19, as some outside scientists expect, it would offer big advantages over the two vaccines authorized in the United States. Unlike those products, which require two doses, Johnson & Johnson’s could need just one, greatly simplifying logistics for local health departments and clinics struggling to get shots in arms. What’s more, its vaccine can stay stable in a refrigerator for months, whereas the others have to be frozen.

But the encouraging prospect of a third effective vaccine is tempered by apparent lags in the company’s production. In the company’s $1 billion contract signed with the federal government in August, Johnson & Johnson pledged to have 12 million doses of its vaccine ready by the end of February, ramping up to a total of 100 million doses by the end of June.

Federal officials have been told that the company has fallen as much as two months behind the original production schedule and won’t catch up until the end of April, when it was supposed to have delivered more than 60 million doses, according to two people familiar with the situation who were not authorized to discuss it publicly. Carlo de Notaristefani, lead manufacturing adviser for Operation Warp Speed, the federal vaccine development program, acknowledged a delay, but said the company might be able to catch up with initial production goals by March.

“I agree there was a problem,” Dr. de Notaristefani said. But he added, “Manufacturing of pharmaceuticals is not a black box where you turn the key and start counting.”

Any delay could be critical because the federal government has secured only enough vaccine doses to inoculate 200 million of the roughly 260 million eligible adults in the first half of this year. With the nation in the grip of its largest surge of the coronavirus to date and the death toll escalating to as high as 4,000 a day, Americans desperate to be vaccinated are lining the sidewalks outside vaccination centers.

Fears about the virus have only escalated with the scientific discovery last month that the country has been seeded with a new, highly contagious variant. On Tuesday, the Trump administration announced it would no longer hold back vaccine stocks for second doses in order to get more people at least partly vaccinated more quickly.

Dr. Paul Stoffels, Johnson & Johnson’s chief scientific officer, said he expected to see clinical trial data showing whether his company’s vaccine is safe and effective in late January or early February. But he declined to provide details about the company’s production capacity.

“We are not ready to release the numbers month by month at the moment, as we are in the discussion with the F.D.A.,” he said.

If the data is positive and the Food and Drug Administration authorizes the vaccine for emergency use, he added, “hopefully somewhere in March we’ll be able to contribute” to the nation’s vaccination drive.

That Johnson & Johnson’s timetable has slipped is not unusual given the frantic pace of vaccine development amid the worst pandemic in a century. But the delay also highlights the unrealistic promises of Operation Warp Speed.

The premise of the program was that the federal government would front the costs of development and manufacturing so that vaccine makers could mass-produce doses even before the vaccines were proved to work. Moncef Slaoui, chief scientific adviser for Warp Speed, said in December that Johnson & Johnson’s vaccine would be a “game changer” in the pandemic.

But at a Tuesday news conference, Dr. Slaoui said that instead of 12 million doses envisioned in the contract by the end of February, the company was likely to have in the “single-digit” millions. He also said the company was “trying to make that number get as close to a double-digit number as possible, and then a larger number in March and a much larger number in April.” Another person familiar with the company’s progress said it was poised to deliver only perhaps three million or four million doses of its vaccine by the end of next month.

In a statement, a Johnson & Johnson spokesman said, “We are confident we can meet our contractual obligations to supply our vaccine candidate to the U.S. government.”

Dr. de Notaristefani, Operation Warp Speed’s manufacturing chief, said the government’s contracts with vaccine makers were written at a time of great uncertainty, with the understanding that unforeseen obstacles could throw off the timetables. “Numbers are never cast in stone when you start a new process,” he said, adding that the company had to transfer its manufacturing from the Netherlands to a plant in Baltimore. “I really think that technically they couldn’t do it earlier.”

Dr. Marcus Plescia, the chief medical officer for the Association of State and Territorial Health Officials, said that state health officials were clearly excited about Johnson & Johnson’s one-dose vaccine.

Covid-19 Vaccines ›

Answers to Your Vaccine Questions

If I live in the U.S., when can I get the vaccine?

While the exact order of vaccine recipients may vary by state, most will likely put medical workers and residents of long-term care facilities first. If you want to understand how this decision is getting made, this article will help.

When can I return to normal life after being vaccinated?

Life will return to normal only when society as a whole gains enough protection against the coronavirus. Once countries authorize a vaccine, they’ll only be able to vaccinate a few percent of their citizens at most in the first couple months. The unvaccinated majority will still remain vulnerable to getting infected. A growing number of coronavirus vaccines are showing robust protection against becoming sick. But it’s also possible for people to spread the virus without even knowing they’re infected because they experience only mild symptoms or none at all. Scientists don’t yet know if the vaccines also block the transmission of the coronavirus. So for the time being, even vaccinated people will need to wear masks, avoid indoor crowds, and so on. Once enough people get vaccinated, it will become very difficult for the coronavirus to find vulnerable people to infect. Depending on how quickly we as a society achieve that goal, life might start approaching something like normal by the fall 2021.

If I’ve been vaccinated, do I still need to wear a mask?

Yes, but not forever. The two vaccines that will potentially get authorized this month clearly protect people from getting sick with Covid-19. But the clinical trials that delivered these results were not designed to determine whether vaccinated people could still spread the coronavirus without developing symptoms. That remains a possibility. We know that people who are naturally infected by the coronavirus can spread it while they’re not experiencing any cough or other symptoms. Researchers will be intensely studying this question as the vaccines roll out. In the meantime, even vaccinated people will need to think of themselves as possible spreaders.

Will it hurt? What are the side effects?

The Pfizer and BioNTech vaccine is delivered as a shot in the arm, like other typical vaccines. The injection won’t be any different from ones you’ve gotten before. Tens of thousands of people have already received the vaccines, and none of them have reported any serious health problems. But some of them have felt short-lived discomfort, including aches and flu-like symptoms that typically last a day. It’s possible that people may need to plan to take a day off work or school after the second shot. While these experiences aren’t pleasant, they are a good sign: they are the result of your own immune system encountering the vaccine and mounting a potent response that will provide long-lasting immunity.

Will mRNA vaccines change my genes?

No. The vaccines from Moderna and Pfizer use a genetic molecule to prime the immune system. That molecule, known as mRNA, is eventually destroyed by the body. The mRNA is packaged in an oily bubble that can fuse to a cell, allowing the molecule to slip in. The cell uses the mRNA to make proteins from the coronavirus, which can stimulate the immune system. At any moment, each of our cells may contain hundreds of thousands of mRNA molecules, which they produce in order to make proteins of their own. Once those proteins are made, our cells then shred the mRNA with special enzymes. The mRNA molecules our cells make can only survive a matter of minutes. The mRNA in vaccines is engineered to withstand the cell’s enzymes a bit longer, so that the cells can make extra virus proteins and prompt a stronger immune response. But the mRNA can only last for a few days at most before they are destroyed.

“You can get it and you’re done,” he said. “Everybody is eager to have it out there. It has a lot of potential.”

But even if Johnson & Johnson’s vaccine pans out, Dr. Plescia said, it won’t be enough. He predicted that state health departments would need a total of four vaccines in the next six months if they hope to reach their goals of offering a vaccine to every American who wants one.

“Or else the public is going to get very frustrated, because they’re ready for it to be opened up and there isn’t adequate supply to do that,” Dr. Plescia said.

Johnson & Johnson is by no means alone in its manufacturing delays. Dr. Albert Bourla, Pfizer’s chief executive, told investors last fall that his company had agreed to deliver 40 million doses of its vaccine to the federal government in 2020, assuming it proved successful in clinical trials. In the end, the company had only half that many ready to ship.

No one — including company executives — knows whether Johnson & Johnson’s vaccine will work. But Lynda Coughlin, a virologist at the University of Maryland School of Medicine who is not involved in the trial, said that the design of the vaccine and the results from early trials made her optimistic.

“Hopefully the results from Johnson & Johnson are just really going to knock it out of the park,” she said.

Johnson & Johnson’s Covid vaccine is fundamentally different from the authorized vaccines from Moderna and Pfizer-BioNTech. Those two consist of genetic molecules encased in oily bubbles. Johnson & Johnson built its vaccine from a virus that causes common colds, known as an adenovirus.

Testing the vaccine on monkeys, the researchers found that a single shot was enough to protect the animals from infection. When they tried out different formulations of the vaccine in early clinical trials, they were pleased to see that the vaccine prompted a strong antibody response with a single dose.

On Wednesday, Johnson & Johnson researchers and their colleagues published the full details of these early clinical trials in the New England Journal of Medicine. They reported that when they checked the blood of volunteers 71 days after receiving a single dose, their levels of coronavirus antibodies were still high. In some cases they were still increasing.

As results of the early clinical trials emerged over the summer, the company had to make a high-stakes decision: proceed with a clinical trial of two doses, which had the most likelihood of success, or try one with a single dose, which would be far more useful for getting shots to the masses — if it worked. The company decided to roll the dice with a single-shot trial.

“We know from vaccination campaigns that the simpler the logistics, the more successful the program,” said Dr. Dan Barouch, a virologist at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center who pioneered adenovirus vaccines in the early 2000s and collaborated with Johnson & Johnson researchers on the trial.

If many people began developing immunity from a single-shot dose, it might become harder for the virus to move from person to person, bringing down the high rates of new cases and easing the burden of the pandemic.

“A vaccine that is one dose would have a tremendous, tremendous public health impact, of course for low-income countries, but also in high-income countries,” said Ruth Faden, a professor of biomedical ethics at Johns Hopkins University.

While other vaccine developers moved quickly into late-stage trials, Johnson & Johnson deliberately moved more slowly so it could focus on ramping up manufacturing of its vaccine. At a facility in the Netherlands, researchers grew cells in which their adenoviruses could multiply. Adjusting the chemistry in giant vats, the scientists found a recipe for producing the vaccine at a fast, reliable rate.

Johnson & Johnson also began working early with other companies to prepare to manufacture the vaccine across the world. In April, it announced a partnership with the Maryland-based Emergent BioSolutions to manufacture the vaccine for the United States. Researchers from Johnson & Johnson began visiting Emergent BioSolutions starting that month to help it prepare for producing the adenoviruses.

“It was much more than a paper exercise: ‘Here’s the recipe, follow this,’” said Remo Colarusso, vice president at Janssen Supply Chain. “This is complex manufacturing.”

By the fall, Emergent BioSolutions was growing cells that were spewing out new adenoviruses. When Johnson & Johnson announced the start of its final Phase 3 trial, executives began making aggressive projections. “We are now committed to make more than one billion doses during 2021, and more after that,” Dr. Stoffels said at a September news conference.

The company then secured more deals to provide the vaccine to countries around the world. In 2021, Johnson & Johnson has promised to supply 200 million doses to Covax, an international partnership seeking to distribute coronavirus vaccines to nations that would not otherwise be able to afford them. It will supply another 300 million to Covax in 2022.

Soon after Johnson & Johnson started its trial, cases surged around the world. All the Phase 3 clinical trials of Covid vaccines accelerated because trials end only after a specified number of volunteers — from both the placebo and vaccinated groups — get sick. In November, the Pfizer-BioNTech and Moderna vaccine trials both delivered impressive results, with efficacy rates around 95 percent.

The F.D.A. authorized both vaccines for the United States, and other countries soon followed suit. But these two vaccines had some major shortcomings that soon became impossible to ignore. Both vaccines have to be kept in a deep freeze to prevent them from degrading. Once they reach a hospital or clinic, they have to be used before they spoil. In New York City and elsewhere, unused vaccines have ended up in the trash.

Once data collection is complete at the end of January or early February, an advisory board will review the data and report its analysis on safety and efficacy to Johnson & Johnson. F.D.A. regulators are already evaluating manufacturing data weeks ahead of when Johnson & Johnson is expected to apply for emergency authorization. Hiccups as small as mold in part of a facility could spur further delays.

Katie Thomas contributed reporting.

from Multiple Service Listing https://ift.tt/3oUKvJO

[roxysbeachlife]

6 Health Benefits of MCT Oil — Is It Better than Coconut Oil?

“MCTs” are medium-chain triglycerides, a form of saturated fatty acid that has numerous health benefits, ranging from improved cognitive function to better weight management. Coconut oil is one great source of MCTs — roughly 62 percent to 65 percent of the fatty acids in coconut oil are MCTs — but recently more concentrated “MCT oil” has also been growing in popularity.

MCTs, also called “MCFAs” for medium-chain fatty acids, are believed to be largely missing from the diets of people eating “standard Western” diets, most likely because the public has been led to believe that all forms of saturated fats are potentially harmful. However, recent research has shown a lot of evidence about the real truth regarding saturated fats.

We now know that ideally MCT oils like coconut oil should actually be consumed every day. Certain saturated fats, especially MCTs and other healthy fats found in things like coconut oil or grass-fed beef, are in fact easier to digest than long-chain triglycerides (LCTs) and might even have more benefits related to heart health, obesity prevention and brain health, too.

In fact, traditional populations living in tropical areas have been consuming saturated fats, including sources of MCTs like coconuts, for thousands of years without any ill effects — so consider the idea that a low-fat diet is “healthy” to be one of the biggest nutrition lies there ever was!

Aside from coconut oil, smaller amounts of MCTs can also be found in certain other foods with saturated fats, including butter (especially butter from grass-fed cows), cheeses, palm oil, whole milk and full-fat yogurt.

Caution: Palm oil is a controversial source of MCTs, not because it’s bad for your body, but because there are major issues involved in the process of procuring this oil. These include deforestation, loss of wildlife diversity and unethical treatment of workers. That’s why I only recommend RSPO-certified palm oil, which comes from producers who prioritize sustainability practices.

What Makes MCT Oils So Special?

MCTs get their name because of the length of their chemical structure. All types of fatty acids are made up of strings of connected carbon and hydrogen. Fats are categorized by how many carbons they have: short-chain fats (like butyric acid) have fewer than six carbons, medium-chain fats have between six to 12 carbons and long-chain fats (like omega-3s) have between 13–21.

What makes MCTs a top source of essential healthy fats? Medium-chain fats are digested easily and sent directly to your liver, where they have a thermogenic effect and the ability to positively alter your metabolism. This is one reason why many people claim that MCTs, including coconut oil, are burned by the body for energy, or “fuel,” instead of being stored as fat.

Compared to longer-chain fats, MCTs are absorbed more easily since there’s less work for the body to do breaking apart carbon bonds. MCTs are smaller, so they can permeate our cell membranes more easily and don’t require that we use special enzymes in order for our bodies to utilize them.

MCTs and saturated fats are good for you in other ways, too: They reduce the risks of low-fat diets, and they’re supportive of your gut environment, especially since they have the capability to combat harmful bacteria, viruses, fungi and parasites. Additionally, MCTs contain antioxidant properties, which is why coconut oil has far-reaching inflammatory benefits that have led it to be used to treat dozens of health problems in folk medicine for centuries.

Medium-chain fatty acids are capable of helping you:

Maintain a healthy weight — since they make you feel full

Specifically reduce stored body fat — since they also raise your metabolic function

Have more energy

Think more clearly

Experience better digestion

Balance hormone levels

Improve your mood

Fight bacterial infection and viruses

Absorb fat-soluble nutrients from various foods

MCT Oil Nutrition Facts

There are actually a few different forms of MCT oils, some that are likely more effective than others. The four different kinds of MCTs include caprioc (acid C6:0), caprylic (acid C8:0), capric (acid C10:0) and lauric (acid C12:0) acids. Generally speaking, the shorter the chain (meaning the lower the number of carbons the acid has), the faster the body can turn the fatty acids into usable energy, in ketone form. Ketones are what the body produces when it’s using fat for energy instead of glucose.

Regardless of the exact kind of MCT, all are still beneficial for overall health — especially for people who have a difficult time digesting other forms of fats, including anyone with malabsorption problems, digestive disorders like leaky gut syndrome, Crohn’s disease, gallbladder infections and so on.

MCT Oil vs. Coconut Oil

There’s been no shortage of coconut oil uses and treatments proven by recent research — it provides not only MCTs (especially abundant levels of lauric acid), but also antibacterial properties, antioxidants, anti-inflammatories and more. The difference between MCT oil and coconut oil is that MCT oil is more concentrated and contains different proportions of MCTs. While coconut oil certainly has MCTs in it, concentrated MCT oil is almost entirely MCTs.

There are four different kinds of MCTs, which differ depending on the number of carbons there are connected to the fat molecules (this ranges between 6 to 12 carbons long). The MCTs in coconut oil are made up of about 50 percent of one kind (lauric acid), so the fact that coconut oil is mostly just one type of MCT is one reason that some people prefer concentrated MCT oils more. “MCT oils” usually have all four types of MCTs that can be difficult to get from other foods.

Coconut oil is one of the best sources of lauric acid as you can see, which many studies have shown has antibacterial, antimicrobial and antiviral properties. Although about 90 percent of the fats found in coconut oil are saturated, a high percentage is not the very short chain MCTs that have less carbons (lauric acid has 12).

The fatty acids termed MCTs and lauric acid act somewhat differently in the body, although in the U.S., coconut oil and MCT oil manufacturers are legally allowed to claim that lauric acid is a type of MCT. Some people claim that lauric acid doesn’t biologically act like other forms of shorter MCTs (or at least as quickly), which is one reason why MCT advocates believe that MCT oil is somewhat superior.

Perhaps one of the biggest reasons that MCT oil sales have skyrocketed in recent years is due to growing popularity of “The Bullet Proof Diet.” “The Bulletproof Diet,” written by Dave Asprey, is a dietary approach for rapid weight loss and better cognitive health that recommends you receive 50 percent to 70 percent of your energy from healthy fats, especially MCT oil, grass-fed butter and coconut oil. (1) The plan’s signature breakfast, “bulletproof coffee” — a mix of coffee, MCT oil and butter — promises decreases in hunger levels, the ability to fast easily, better brain function and mental clarity. While coconut oil benefits are still recognized by Bulletproof dieters, MCT oil is considered the gold standard, and the official Bulletproof site sells its own MCT oil, called Brain Octane Oil.

On the other hand, coconut oil does have some well-documented health benefits that concentrated MCT oils might be lacking. The biggest drawback to buying manufactured MCT oil is that you might not really know what you’re getting. In order to produce a liquid MCT oil that does not become solid at colder temps, it might need to be more refined than regular coconut oil. MCT oil might also remove some of the very beneficial lauric acid, which is the star ingredient in real extra-virgin coconut oil.

So while some marketers of MCT oil might claim that their products contain more concentrated and diverse MCTs than real coconut oil does, it might be because they’re chemically altered and absent of lauric acid. It could even have “filler” oils like omega-6 polyunsaturated fats. Another factor to consider is that most MCT oils on the market are manufactured via chemical/solvent refining, which can mean they require using chemicals like hexane and different enzymes and combustion chemicals.

The bottom line? Enjoy both coconut oil and quality MCT oil for their numerous benefits — just make sure you buy a high-quality MCT oil that clearly states what the ingredients are and how it was produced.

6 Health Benefits of MCT Oil

Can Help with Weight Loss or Maintenance

Helps Protect Heart Health

Improves Energy Levels and Mood

Supports Digestion and Nutrient Absorption

Has Antibacterial, Antiviral and Antifungal Properties

Can Withstand High-Heat Cooking

1. Can Help with Weight Loss or Maintenance

Compared to other types of oils and fats, MCTs seem to have positive effects on fat burning and weight reduction. As part of a healthy diet, MCT oil can help increase satiety and even raise the metabolic rate at which the body functions. Does this mean eating large amounts of MCTs daily will make you drop pounds? Not quite. Not every study has shown that MCTs can produce weight loss necessarily, but some definitely have shown the positive effects of MCTs on metabolic function.

For example, a 2003 study published in the Journal of Obesity and Related Metabolic Disorders showed that after comparing long-term consumption of MCTs and LCTs on energy expenditure, body composition and fat oxidation in obese women, the MCTs had more significant effects. Substitution of MCTs for LCTs in a targeted energy balance diet proved to offer better prevention of long-term weight gain due to increases in energy expenditure and fat-burning. (2)

Another 2001 study published in the Journal of Nutrition compared body weight and body fat in groups of adults either consuming long-chain fats or medium-chain fats over a 12-week period. The energy, fat, protein and carbohydrate intakes did not differ significantly between the groups, only the types of fats they were receiving. After 12 weeks, the decrease in body weight and body fat was significantly greater in the MCT group than in the LCT group. The decrease in the area of subcutaneous fat in the MCT group was also significantly greater than that in the LCT group, which suggests that the MCT diet might be able to help reduce body weight and fat in individuals who need to lose weight. (3)

How do MCTs help with weight loss? Experimental studies demonstrate that dietary MCTs suppress fat deposition through enhanced thermogenesis and fat oxidation in both animals and humans. (4) In other words, it’s believed that they help the body produce ketones, which gives you the same benefits as the ketogenic diet without needing to cut carbs to drastically low levels. In fact, MCTs are sometimes called “the ultimate ketogenic fats” because of their heating effect in the body and ability to rapidly be used for energy, especially when someone is not eating a lot of carbohydrates, making them perfect for the keto diet to help the body reach ketosis — along with one of the best things to consume on the Paleo diet.

2. Helps Protect Heart Health

A 2010 study published in the Journal of Neutraceuticals and Functional Foods reported that MCTs can help prevent the development of metabolic syndrome — a term given to a cluster of metabolic disorders, such as abdominal obesity, dyslipidemia, hypertension and impaired fasting glucose levels. MCTs seem to be able to help decrease cardiovascular disease and mortality risk in general due to helping lower odds of becoming obese. Most likely, they have this positive effect because they are anti-inflammatory, easy to digest, satiating and easily used for energy as described above. (5)

3. Improves Energy Levels and Mood

Your brain is largely made up of fatty acids, so you need a steady supply from your diet to feel your best, think clearly, perform well at work and stay sharp well into older age. Medium-chain fats are believed to be one of the most easily digested, utilized and protective fatty acids that exists.

A 2004 study published in the Journal of Neurobiology of Aging found that the MCTs in coconut oil helped improved memory problems, including Alzheimer’s disease in older adults. (6) It only makes sense that a food that supplies fuel for your brain and also helps you absorb vitamins and minerals better will also make you feel more clearheaded, energetic and positive.

MCT oil helps not only feed your brain cells, but also improves your gut health — which is largely connected to cognitive functioning thanks to the “gut-brain connection.” In one animal study published in the Journal of Animal Feed and Sciences, when pigs were either fed a standard feed mixture (the control) or the same mixture supplemented with two grams each of caprylic or capric acid MCTs, the pigs receiving MCTs showed improvements in bacterial gut health, performance, growth and digestion of nutrients, including proteins and fiber. (7)

4. Supports Digestion and Nutrient Absorption

Both MCT oil and coconut oil are beneficial for balancing bacteria in the gut microbiota, which in turn has positive effects on the digestive symptom, energy expenditure, and the ability to absorb vitamins and minerals from the foods you eat. Medium-chain fats can help kill a wide range of pathogenic viruses, strains and bacteria that cause digestive issues, including candida, constipation, diarrhea, food poisoning, stomachaches and so on. (8)

You also need to consume coconut and other healthy fats in order absorb fat-soluble nutrients found in various foods. These include nutrients like beta-carotene (a precursor of vitamin A found in plants like berries, squash and leafy greens), vitamin E, calcium, magnesium, phosphorus and lutein. When you consume a healthy diet filled with lots of different whole, plant foods but don’t get enough healthy fat sources at the same time, your body is basically not capable of utilizing these nutrients as well.

5. Has Antibacterial, Antiviral and Antifungal Properties

MCTs are powerful, natural antibiotics that help balance bacteria in the gut. In the age of antibiotic resistance, it’s meaningful to have natural methods to kill some harmful types of bacteria. Here are some known to be killed by medium-chain fats: streptococcus (which causes strep throat, pneumonia and sinus infections), straphylococcus (which causes food poisoning and urinary tract infections), neisseria (which causes meningitis, gonorrhea and pelvic inflammatory diseases), and some other strains that cause stomach viruses, candida, ulcers and sexually transmitted diseases. (9)

In fact, there are at least a dozen pathogenic viruses that have been inactivated at least partially by lauric acid. Another great thing about MCTs is that they are capable of reducing “bad bacteria” without harming or removing “good bacteria.” That’s important, considering we need the good kind for intestinal health and digestive functioning.

According to some studies, medium-chain fats offer better protection from infections than longer-chain fatty acids do. A study published in the Journal of Nutritional Biochemistry found that fatty acids and monoglycerides with chain lengths varying from 8–12 carbons were found to be more strongly antiviral and antibacterial when added to milk and formula than long-chain monoglycerides. Medium-chain lipids added to milk (lipid-enhanced milk) and formula inactivated a number of pathogens, including respiratory syncytial virus (RSV), herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1), haemophilus influenzae and streptococcus. (10)

6. Can Withstand High-Heat Cooking

MCT oils are particularly good for cooking because they have a high “smoke point,” meaning they don’t oxidize from heat easily and can withstand high temperatures. This is crucial, because even certain “good fats” are not well-suited for cooking (like extra virgin olive oil or flaxseed oil, for example) and can become rancid oils somewhat easily. Both coconut oil and MCT oil can be used for the most part in baked goods, sautés, stir-fries and grilled foods without oxidizing.

How to Use MCT Oil in Recipes

Some people are firm believers in taking MCT oil daily just like a supplement, straight from the spoon or mixed into drinks. MCT oil has no taste or smell, so this is an option if you’re really looking to increase your intake quickly. But be careful — a little goes a long way. People should start off with half a teaspoon and work their way up to one tablespoon.

How can you use MCT oil creatively at home without needing to simply drink “Bulletproof coffee” every morning? Some clever ways to get more MCT oil into your diet include:

Making homemade mayonnaise in a blender (using MCT oil, an egg yolk, extra virgin olive oil, lime juice and salt)

Whisking together a salad dressing (using MCT oil, raw honey, Dijon mustard and your favorite herbs)

Adding some MCT oil to smoothies, shakes or yogurt (which stabilizes your blood sugar since it helps slow down the rate that glucose and fructose sugar molecules are absorbed)

Using MCT oil in homemade baked goods instead of coconut oil (sub out about 1/3 of the coconut oil for MCT oil instead)

Don’t forget that just like with coconut oil being used for your hair, MCT oil is great for your skin and hair. MCT oil can be used in homemade teeth whitening treatments, moisturizer, lip balm, sunscreen, shaving cream, conditioner, facial masks, salt scrubs and essential oil blends.

Final Thoughts

The difference between MCT oil and coconut oil is that MCT oil is more concentrated and contains different proportions of MCTs. While coconut oil certainly has MCTs in it, concentrated MCT oil is almost entirely MCTs.

Scientifically proven benefits of MCT oil include its ability to help with weight loss or maintenance, heart health protection, improved energy levels and mood, and digestion and nutrient absorption support. In addition, MCT oil has antibacerial, antiviral and antifungal properties, and it can withstand high-heat cooking.

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